.

Really, I know that last one wasn’t a nightmare cuz I KNOW my nightmares and that’s not what they’re like. Mine are like… little things, not big monsters. Showers of broken glass. Rat swarms. Maggots under my skin, pooling at my feet. Being chased fit, but I’m always chased by people I can’t see… not a horde, just a few people. I can tell in that way your dreams give you context sometimes that you can’t ever see.

Whatever. I think I fucked up my friend JC’s head for a bit, but he was too faded to notice. I was swinging my bat around and him and I are getting into it over, over Dalmatians as firefighting dogs or something, and he’s getting WAY too mad about it. Later on Danielle told me he had a Dalmatian when he was a kid, cuz I had to ask if she knew why he got so worked up in the first place. So JC’s getting loud and getting kinda close and I go “woah, woah, chill OUT, man”, and swing my bat for emphasis. I felt that connection like it hit something, but I mean obviously it didn’t… under my jacket I can feel my arms burning when the reverberation hits, and my bat flares up with her runes like usual. JC looks kinda stunned and sits back down. Chilled out.

He never brought it up. And I had more nightmares that night. For once, there were faces to the people chasing me, and they were all JC’s Shaggy-lookin ass coming at me with a pack of Dalmatians. Guilt’s a motherfucker.

Snakes got ways, y'see?

Like, they slither & slide & get all low down with the showdown, snakes they got it going on they do yippy yah doo-dah yahoo buckaroo...

Snake is got the healing power. When I was on the Rez doing Mescaline with all the Shamans they was all like "Murdock - You have great Pow-Ah...you are a Shaman Healer of the Snake-Serpent Uktena Wakka Takka Howdy!"

Then I was all like - "Woah..."

I think that's when I knew that the Earth was flat. Injuns say it was built by a turtle bringing mud up. Or was it on a turtle? Not sure 'cause that's crazy bullshit anyway - I'm a man of Science myself...got a degree or two to prove it too, not that makes a bit of ding dong doodle-difference.

Injuns had it all wrong but all right. Earth is flat, always has been, but not because of no chummy-wummy turtle buddy, no sir, no way! Earth is flat because it's a disc.

Observable, just look outside.

See, that's why Snakes are so wise - they're flat like the Earth - they won't fall off as easily as everyone else. Snake is a healer & a killer, heh...just like your good buddy Murdock.

That's why I KNOW the Snake Oil is like, the thing. THE BIG THING. What "They" don't want you to know. How would they make all those big piles of money if a bit of Snake Oil can cure cancer? Fix a toothache? Put some razzle-dazzle zing-zang in the ol' ding dong?

God damn guy who is my normal hook up says "Oh, try this shit, it's like gettin' high with, like, virtual reality or some shit!"

Except it wasn't like that AT ALL! NOT AT ALL! It was like a building crumbling, with like a tidal wave or some shit! Crazy! CRAZY!

LIKE, WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHIT MANG??? REALITY AIN'T IN NO GOD DAMNDEDY MACHINE MY MAN THAT SHIT IS BULLSHIT!!!

THIS AIN'T NO MATRIX MOTHERFUCKER I'LL TAKE THAT RED PILL & RED PILL YOUR LILLY WHITE ASS WITH IT BECAUSE I WAS ALL DYING UP IN THAT SHIT!!!

Yeah, building collapse? Typhoon? No Bueno.

Like, what is with all these games, man? Back in my day, you smoked a doobie & made some free love baby! Now it's all these machines & shit.

Back is the 60's we knew Free Love & Drugs, Baby! Magic Time! This computer hoopty-doopty bullshit don't compare to a whole shit ton of weed & some hippie chicks motherfucker! No way, no sir.

No wonder kids is all as fucked in the head as they are, don't know that these chem trails, these 5G waves, these VR gmaes...that's some devil shit there.

What is Ol' Murdock gonna do? He's gonna work out why all the Illuminatis & Government fat cats tried to ban Snake Oil, that's what he's gonna due.

Say it's a bunch of Malarkey while they put the fluoride in the water...that calcifies the pineal gland, don't ya know!

Well, I like my glands right where they are, Mr Facist Government Pig - & I bet this "snake oil" is just the thing...from I read, people say it fixes everything! No wonder THE MAN don't want you to have it!

Well...we'll just see about that!