The Real Business For the most deadly salarymen

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An extraordinary melee weapon.
Used by John Smith, Created by BackupKill3r.
On Legendary Artifact Smithson Briefcase.
(When actively using this Artifact in any way that exceeds what a mundane counterpart could do, it is obviously Alien and cannot be concealed under your clothes or similar.)

When the briefcase is swung it leaves behind a swishing sound that is much loader than it should be, almost like it is much heavier than it looks.


This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.
  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Community Melee Weapon Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a great sword / giant axe. It is roughly the same size as a great sword / giant axe but can be collapsed into A bracelet and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +7 Weapon Damage.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Any Injury inflicted is considered unstabilized even if its Severity is less than 4. The equipment and roll required to Stabilize it is treated as though it is a minimum of Severity 6.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a great sword / giant axe. It is roughly the same size as a great sword / giant axe but can be collapsed into Marble and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +6 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

A sword that breaks the 4th wall unknowingly. appears to be a 4th dimensional being.
He acquired this sword at a very young age passed on from his mother before she left him.

This Artifact can be used as a Sword/Axe. It is roughly the same size as a Sword/Axe and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal 1 Weapon Damage +1 Bonus Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Assassin: If your attack injures someone, they cannot make a sound, even incidentally, for a single Round. Even the sound of their body and equipment dropping to the ground is silenced.
  • Fancy Footwork: You may move your full Dash distance and attack with your Melee weapon in the same Round without penalty. You may also split your movement before and after your attack.
  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.

Note that the sword is actually a one handed blade. Cuts through the unworthy and concrete like butter. It's changed, since Pringles used it to kill a god. Funny how that works.

This Artifact can be used as a great sword / giant axe. It is roughly the same size as a great sword / giant axe but can be collapsed into plain golden ring and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +5 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Bane: Injuries dealt to gods and their servants are increased by 2 Severity levels.
  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.
  • Lasersaber: Given time, you may demolish any object or wall. To destroy 1 cubic foot of material: spend 1 Action for material demolishable with a crowbar or sledgehammer, and 2 Actions for other materials (like steel).
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Bastard: You may spend a Free Action to change this melee weapon’s base stats into those of any other basic melee weapon. Changing this weapon's base type affects its size, range, Weapon Damage, and roll.
  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Stock Melee Weapon Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a sword / axe. It is roughly the same size as a sword / axe and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.