The Real Business For the most deadly salarymen

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An extraordinary melee weapon.
Used by John Smith, Created by BackupKill3r.
On Legendary Artifact Smithson Briefcase.
(When actively using this Artifact in any way that exceeds what a mundane counterpart could do, it is obviously Alien and cannot be concealed under your clothes or similar.)

When the briefcase is swung it leaves behind a swishing sound that is much loader than it should be, almost like it is much heavier than it looks.


This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.
  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Community Melee Weapon Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a thrusting sword. It is roughly the same size as a thrusting sword but can be collapsed into a necklace and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: must pet any cat sized animal. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Any Injury inflicted is considered unstabilized even if its Severity is less than 4. The equipment and roll required to Stabilize it is treated as though it is a minimum of Severity 6.
  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a sword / axe. It is roughly the same size as a sword / axe but can be collapsed into Dildo and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • This melee weapon may extend for a single attack up to 50 feet away. Retracting back into its usable size is a Quick Action.
  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Pin: If you Injure a target with an Attack, you may choose to leave your weapon. If you do, the target is “pinned” to that location until the weapon is removed. Removing the weapon increases the Severity of that Injury by 2.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Bane: Injuries dealt to WHITE WEAK ABNORMALITIES are increased by 2 Severity levels.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This massive door used to just be like any other door, but it was cared for and loved by rood so much and so much energy was put into it that it grew double the size and gained magical properties. Including returning to it's beloved owner.

This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly at least twice as large as a club / improvised weapon and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Pin: If you Injure a target with an Attack, you may choose to leave your weapon. If you do, the target is “pinned” to that location until the weapon is removed. Removing the weapon increases the Severity of that Injury by 2.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon but can be collapsed into needle and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal 4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage.

  • This melee weapon may extend for a single attack up to 50 feet away. Retracting back into its usable size is a Quick Action.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Stock Melee Weapon Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a sword / axe. It is roughly the same size as a sword / axe and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +5 Weapon Damage. The target's fully effective

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. This penalty lasts until the armor is repaired.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.