Big Bessie Ain't gettin out of this fucker

2
Requires Seasoned
An extraordinary Big Bessie (Modded Foundation Anomaly Transport APC).
Used by Cleatus Abernathy, Created by leonvanderblight.
On Legendary Artifact Big Bessie.

A black colored, military designated, and SCP branded 6 wheeled, all terrain capable, APC equipped to operate in any environment on the planet and now modded to function even underwater. Transitioning smoothly between on land and underwater Cleatus's mods to this APC show his talent as a mechanic.. even if he doesn't really understand what most of the parts are ACTUALLY called, his own internal system seems to have produced an anomalous vehicle perfect for the tasks he tackles on the day to day.


This Artifact can be used as a Big Bessie (Modded Foundation Anomaly Transport APC). It is roughly the same size as a Big Bessie (Modded Foundation Anomaly Transport APC) but can be collapsed into A decactivated.50 BMG bullet on a chain and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Big Bessie (Modded Foundation Anomaly Transport APC) has Armored vehicle, nitrous installed, back compartment is separate and air tight with an 8 hour oxygen supply. All other foundation compliant features, including built in police scanner, and radio communication.. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on land as well as under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.
  • Flying Car: Your vehicle may also fly at its normal speed. Taking off takes a full Action.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

Community Functional Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a Silver Bullet. It is roughly the same size as a Silver Bullet but can be collapsed into matchbox car. and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Silver Bullet has Steel coating. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on land as well as under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +1 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Any Injury inflicted is considered Unstabilized no matter its Severity. The roll required to Stabilize it is treated as though it is a minimum of Severity 6. These wounds do not heal naturally, though Effects may still be used to heal them.
  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Virtuoso's Vessel: When using this Device for its primary purpose, you always roll a minimum of 8 dice. Excludes Effect activation rolls.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Note that the sword is actually a one handed blade. Cuts through the unworthy and concrete like butter. It's changed, since Pringles used it to kill a god. Funny how that works.

This Artifact can be used as a great sword / giant axe. It is roughly the same size as a great sword / giant axe but can be collapsed into plain golden ring and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +5 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Bane: Injuries dealt to gods and their servants are increased by 2 Severity levels.
  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.
  • Lasersaber: Given time, you may demolish any object or wall. To destroy 1 cubic foot of material: spend 1 Action for material demolishable with a crowbar or sledgehammer, and 2 Actions for other materials (like steel).
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a handgun. It is roughly the same size as a handgun and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Any Injury inflicted is considered Unstabilized no matter its Severity. The roll required to Stabilize it is treated as though it is a minimum of Severity 6. These wounds do not heal naturally, though Effects may still be used to heal them.
  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

This Artifact can be used as a Goblin Car(t). It is roughly the same size as a Goblin Car(t) but can be collapsed into Jerboa Foot Necklace and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Goblin Car(t) has Mounted Grenade Launcher (Rooftop Catapult), Grenade release lever (Live grenades dropped behind), storage space (takes up passenger areas), forward mounted SMGs, and a roll cage.. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Daredevil: Damage you and your passengers take from vehicle collisions is reduced by 2, and any Injuries suffered are limited to a maximum of Severity 4.
  • Virtuoso's Vessel: When using this Device for its primary purpose, you always roll a minimum of 8 dice. Excludes Effect activation rolls.
  • Flying Solo: Your vehicle cannot have any passengers.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their body and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Battle Scar: You Are A Literal Goblin. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Battle Scar heals over the course of the next day.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

Stock Functional Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly at least twice as large as a bow and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Leave No Trace: Your projectiles crumble or vanish after impact, leaving no meaningful trace of your assault beyond the wounds they leave. If your attack would kill or incapacitate your target, they make no sound, even incidentally, for the next Round.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a sword / axe. It is roughly the same size as a sword / axe and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact holds 5 times what it normally could inside of it. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in this Artifact. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the Artifact in the process.

If this Artifact is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

When scanned or investigated without opening, the contents of this container appear normal and unremarkable.

If anyone other than you opens the container, it appears empty. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents.

  • A container of holding cannot be placed inside another created by the same Gift.
  • There is no cost to use this container.

This Artifact produces ephemeral projectiles that can be used as a javelin.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Chain Lightning: You may Exert your Mind to perform a chain lightning attack. If your attack succeeds, All targets within 5 feet of your primary target take full Damage. The Damage can “jump” up to 5 times. Each target can be hit only once.
  • Magic Quiver: Instead of throwing this Artifact, it is an object that produces an endless supply of temporary throwable objects. For example, bracers that allow you to throw ethereal javelins, or a sack of throwing rocks that doesn’t shrink when you withdraw one.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Created projectiles last only until they strike their target and cannot be shared or stockpiled.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a passport and just as difficult to conceal.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of forms of identification. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.