Eat The Poor “Gnom Gnom”

1
Requires Seasoned
An extraordinary The Chipper.
Used by Timothy Humbug, Created by jwesley123.
On Legendary Artifact The Chipper.

This vehicle looks like a cross between a bulldozer, a tank, a giant wood chipper, all under the shape of a giant metal bull on tank tracks. It’s maw is wide, and can out the bases of trees with ease. Two horns protrude from the sides of its “head”, twisted into drills, that can cut through earth like butter. It’s four times the length and width of a bulldozer, and three times the height. This trophy counts as an animate machine when targeted. Any creature driving it can use it to attack using a dex+drive roll. It deals +3 damage and does double damage to structures. It has a top speed of 60 miles per hour and has incredible off-road capabilities.


This Artifact can be used as a The Chipper. It is roughly the same size as a The Chipper but can be collapsed into A Devils Skull Cane. and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This The Chipper has This vehicle looks like a cross between a bulldozer, a tank, a giant wood chipper, all under the shape of a giant metal bull on tank tracks. It’s maw is wide, and can out the bases of trees with ease. Two horns protrude from the sides of its “head”, twisted into drills, that can cut through earth like butter. It’s four times the length and width of a bulldozer, and three times the height. This trophy counts as an animate machine when targeted. Any creature driving it can use it to attack using a. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Flying Car: Your vehicle may also fly at its normal speed. Taking off takes a full Action.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded.

Community Functional Gifts

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a Clothing and just as difficult to conceal.

Spend a Quick Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of Clothing. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

When used as identification and scanned, the scanner will act appropriately and bring up appropriate generic information. Further searches for the identity in the computer will turn up no results. This will not open security doors on its own.

  • Changing the Artifact’s appearance does not allow you to conceal its Alien nature while any of its other Effects are in use.

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly the same size as a bow but can be collapsed into a glove on his left hand and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their body and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Battle Scar: Horribly burnt hand. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Battle Scar heals over the course of the next day.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a Horse. It is roughly the same size as a Horse but can be collapsed into Medal of Bravery and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action. Unless piloted, commanded, or summoned by someone with the Lifesaver Limit, this Artifact behaves as its mundane counterpart.

This Horse has Saddle, bridle, blinders, saddle bags. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Afterburner: Your vehicle has a 25% faster top speed and you may Exert your Mind to accelerate to its top speed in a single Round.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a Clown Car. It is roughly the same size as a Clown Car but can be collapsed into Die Cast Clown Car and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Clown Car has performance tires, upgraded brakes, improved muffler, and aftermarket suspension bushes. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Flying Car: Your vehicle may also fly at its normal speed. Taking off takes a full Action.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a handgun. It is roughly the same size as a handgun and just as difficult to conceal. Unless sacrifice a drop of blood for each bullet, this Artifact behaves as its mundane counterpart.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • You may spend a Quick Action to change this firearm's base stats into those of any other basic firearm.
  • Silencer: Shots you fire can be made silent at will.

  • Changing this weapon's base type affects its range, Weapon Damage, concealability, and roll. Other mechanics of the chosen base firearm (such as the tripod requirement for sniper rifles) apply.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

Stock Functional Gifts

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a passport and just as difficult to conceal.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of forms of identification. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a passport and just as difficult to conceal.

Whenever you show this Artifact to someone, you may give a general description of an Object within the category of forms of identification, and anyone who hears the description and sees the Artifact will have their mind fill in the details to complete the illusion.

The way the Artifact is seen can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

This Artifact can be used as a sword / axe. It is roughly the same size as a sword / axe and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +5 Weapon Damage. The target's fully effective

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mjolnir: You may call your weapon back to your hand as a Quick Action if it is within 50 feet of you. Can only be used on melee weapon that you have wielded in the past hour.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. This penalty lasts until the armor is repaired.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a container. It is roughly the same size as a alligator-skin briefcase and just as difficult to conceal. Unless you are storing something commonly found in coffins, this Artifact behaves as its mundane counterpart.

Your alligator-skin briefcase holds 5 times what it normally could. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in your alligator-skin briefcase. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the alligator-skin briefcase in the process.

If your alligator-skin briefcase is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

You may change the type of your container between Contracts.

Only you may open and close the container. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents

  • You cannot change the container's type if you are not in possession of it.
  • There is no cost to use your container.

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly at least twice as large as a bow and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Leave No Trace: Your projectiles crumble or vanish after impact, leaving no meaningful trace of your assault beyond the wounds they leave. If your attack would kill or incapacitate your target, they make no sound, even incidentally, for the next Round.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.