Eat The Poor “Gnom Gnom”

1
Requires Seasoned
An extraordinary The Chipper.
Used by Timothy Humbug, Created by jwesley123.
On Legendary Artifact The Chipper.

This vehicle looks like a cross between a bulldozer, a tank, a giant wood chipper, all under the shape of a giant metal bull on tank tracks. It’s maw is wide, and can out the bases of trees with ease. Two horns protrude from the sides of its “head”, twisted into drills, that can cut through earth like butter. It’s four times the length and width of a bulldozer, and three times the height. This trophy counts as an animate machine when targeted. Any creature driving it can use it to attack using a dex+drive roll. It deals +3 damage and does double damage to structures. It has a top speed of 60 miles per hour and has incredible off-road capabilities.


This Artifact can be used as a The Chipper. It is roughly the same size as a The Chipper but can be collapsed into A Devils Skull Cane. and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This The Chipper has This vehicle looks like a cross between a bulldozer, a tank, a giant wood chipper, all under the shape of a giant metal bull on tank tracks. It’s maw is wide, and can out the bases of trees with ease. Two horns protrude from the sides of its “head”, twisted into drills, that can cut through earth like butter. It’s four times the length and width of a bulldozer, and three times the height. This trophy counts as an animate machine when targeted. Any creature driving it can use it to attack using a. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Flying Car: Your vehicle may also fly at its normal speed. Taking off takes a full Action.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded.

Community Functional Gifts

The power for the bike comes from the contractor's will to be free, but like the contractor is trapped to serve its purpose

This Artifact can be used as a Kawasaki H2R motorcycle. It is roughly the same size as a Kawasaki H2R motorcycle but can be collapsed into A black and blue backpack and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Kawasaki H2R motorcycle has A automatic License Plate adjuster and is fully electric. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Afterburner: Your vehicle has a 25% faster top speed and you may Exert your Mind to accelerate to its top speed in a single Round.
  • Daredevil: Damage you and your passengers take from vehicle collisions is reduced by 2, and any Injuries suffered are limited to a maximum of Severity 4.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a Zeppelin NT blimp. It is roughly the same size as a Zeppelin NT blimp but can be collapsed into metal whale pendant and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Zeppelin NT blimp has echolocation, is unusually heavy with thick bubbery walls (3 Armor), and is internally warm/insulated. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Afterburner: Your vehicle has a 25% faster top speed and you may Exert your Mind to accelerate to its top speed in a single Round.
  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on land as well as under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

TORI stands for Tactical Off-Road Interceptor

This Artifact can be used as a 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. It is roughly the same size as a 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am but can be collapsed into Matchbox car and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am has Bulletproof Windows, Kevlar re-enforced body, run flat off-road tires, biometric security, ramming bar on grill. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on and under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded.

This Artifact can be used as a thrusting sword. It is roughly the same size as a thrusting sword but can be collapsed into Aliança and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Blade Breaker: If you successfully Defend against a melee attack or if an opponent is unsuccessful at Defending against your melee attack, you may break your opponent's weapon.
  • Lasersaber: Given time, you may demolish any object or wall. To destroy 1 cubic foot of material: spend 1 Action for material demolishable with a crowbar or sledgehammer, and 2 Actions for other materials (like steel).
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This gun is, quite literally, out of this world, whether that means of alien, time-travel, or inter-dimensional means. The bottomless magazine mechanism listed is arcane in nature, and the firearm feeds hulking wildcat .45 caliber cartridges. The gun is sealed (minus the ejection port and barrel) and self-cleaning.

A journal entry about the gun, written by an unknown blacksmith, and scrawled in an unknown language, notes the following improvements to the base design:

"Hellfire" portal technology for self-reloading magazine and self-cleaning mechanism. Ketsteel alloy construction for reduced weight at virtually no cost to durability. Prototype self-guided munitions (mimicking Myrrh Sov's harmonic stone core earthromancy-guiding munitions). An ergonomic grip (to replace the original design's horrid one). Cleaner sight picture. Threaded barrel to accept barrel accessories (the gods know it needs one). Expanded trigger guard to allow use of gloves.

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No known registered trademark "KetSuna" exists in current database... Refresh? [Y]/[N]

This Artifact can be used as a handgun. It is roughly at least twice as large as a handgun and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +6 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Curve the Bullet: You suffer no penalties for attacking targets behind cover.
  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

Stock Functional Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a container. It is roughly the same size as a 80 liter backpacking pack and just as difficult to conceal.

Your 80 liter backpacking pack holds 5 times what it normally could. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in your 80 liter backpacking pack. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the 80 liter backpacking pack in the process.

If your 80 liter backpacking pack is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

Only you may open and close the container. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents

  • There is no cost to use your container.

This Artifact can be used as a container. It is roughly the same size as a alligator-skin briefcase and just as difficult to conceal. Unless you are storing something commonly found in coffins, this Artifact behaves as its mundane counterpart.

Your alligator-skin briefcase holds 5 times what it normally could. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in your alligator-skin briefcase. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the alligator-skin briefcase in the process.

If your alligator-skin briefcase is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

You may change the type of your container between Contracts.

Only you may open and close the container. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents

  • You cannot change the container's type if you are not in possession of it.
  • There is no cost to use your container.

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly at least twice as large as a bow and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Leave No Trace: Your projectiles crumble or vanish after impact, leaving no meaningful trace of your assault beyond the wounds they leave. If your attack would kill or incapacitate your target, they make no sound, even incidentally, for the next Round.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a rifle. It is roughly the same size as a rifle but can be collapsed into a metallic disk and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Silencer: Shots you fire can be made silent at will.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

This Artifact can be used as a blimp. It is roughly the same size as a blimp but can be collapsed into a phone-sized canvas cube and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This blimp has full science laboratory, bullet-proof envelope, and ample parachutes. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Crew of One: You alone may stand in for an entire crew if the vehicle would normally be piloted by more than one.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.