The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).
Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.
On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.
On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)
Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom.
Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Must roll Self-Control if you see any reference to food besides what you create. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.
When something's giving you trouble, you've got an easy fix; hitting it really, really hard until it works right. You learned that from The Fonz.
Exert your Mind (unless you win a coin flip) and spend 1 Action. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you smash the target with your powerful fists, rendering it useless and irreparable. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -2 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.
Reinforced siding with micron-scale thaumaturgic reinforcement on every surface, from the air hose to the muffler not a single part of this beauty is going to be anything less than perfect by the time Cleatus is done and he's not about to have his lovely lady Bessie in anything less than the most pristine shape so he's snagged some of those repair nanites from the foundation so even when it gets blasted it puts itself back together again before you can blink.
This Artifact has been upgraded.
This Artifact receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
Infused with the dreams, imaginations, and aspirations of the user, the journal maintains its binding, pages, and words no matter what damage it receives. Moreover, its connection to the user's dreams allow for them to manifest the journal no matter where they are.
Intended Use: Creative Writing
This Artifact cannot be broken. If this Artifact is lost and in no one else’s possession, it finds its way back to its true owner during the next Downtime.
By default, the creator of this Artifact is its true owner. The true owner may formally bequeath this Artifact onto another person within arm’s reach, after which they are its true owner. If the true owner dies or is destroyed, their ownership ends. If this Artifact has no true owner, anyone may spend one day attuning to it to become its true owner.
If this Artifact is in no one else’s possession, its true owner may Exert their Mind and spend two Actions to bring it to themselves.
Seems to be a normal looking 2001 Honda Accord but something about it is different the parts used don't look like anything made on this planet.
Its not the best looking car but she runs really well.
This Artifact can be used as a 2001 Honda Accord. It is roughly the same size as a 2001 Honda Accord and just as difficult to conceal.
This 2001 Honda Accord has Been Extremely Modified With Unknown Parts. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.
You also gain the following effects:
The Scribe's Favor, when dipped in a bottle of metallic silver ink, will draw in the full bottle, turning its feather silver colored. Mike can then scribe a rune onto a device that becomes an integral part of its fit and finish, clearly visible but looking as though it belongs, and remaining for 24 hours before fading. While so marked, items are immensely stronger, as well as simply being better at their intended uses. Cars drive smoother and never run out of gas, pots or utensils are easier to cook with and seem to make better food. Tools work smoother and make repairs easier. Even Mike's "Attitude-Adjusting Wrench" seems to hit harder, especially on beasties with some special weakness.
Exert your Mind and spend 1 Action. Select a Device within arm's reach. Can be used on Alien technology. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next day. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
The mad scientist produces thorium cores that can be used to upgrade tools and other devices. The core supercharges the item, increasing its quality and rendering it indestructible for a period. However, once the core runs dry, the object is rendered less useful than it was before. The core crackles with blue electricity while active.
Spend 1 Action and use up this glowing blue disk. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -2 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.
The aristocrat knows a ritual that allows them to rent the best version of any item. They set $10,000 worth of cash on fire and place the item to be upgraded in the fire as well. While in the flame, the item morphs into a high-end version of itself. After a while, it reverts.
Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up $10,000 cash (or equivalent) in order to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.