Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

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This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
(Anyone who witnesses you activate this Effect or for its duration is very likely to be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom. You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits. That's where Schrodinger comes in.

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)


Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Must roll Self-Control if you see any reference to food besides what you create. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

This Artifact produces ephemeral projectiles that can be used as a javelin.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: fear of underwater. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Magic Quiver: Instead of throwing this Artifact, it is an object that produces an endless supply of temporary throwable objects. For example, bracers that allow you to throw ethereal javelins, or a sack of throwing rocks that doesn’t shrink when you withdraw one.
  • Not Quite Flying: You may Exert your Mind and use up your Movement to “follow” any attack using this weapon, traveling right next to its point of impact.
  • Ricochet: You can make a thrown attack against a target behind cover so long as there is at least one exposed pathway to them.

  • Created projectiles last only until they strike their target and cannot be shared or stockpiled.
  • The attack must be the primary form of attack for this weapon.
  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact produces ephemeral projectiles that can be used as a throwing axe. It is roughly the same size as a throwing axe and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +1 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Magic Quiver: Instead of throwing this Artifact, it is an object that produces an endless supply of temporary throwable objects. For example, bracers that allow you to throw ethereal javelins, or a sack of throwing rocks that doesn’t shrink when you withdraw one.
  • Not Quite Flying: You may Exert your Mind and use up your Movement to “follow” any attack using this weapon, traveling right next to its point of impact.

  • Created projectiles last only until they strike their target and cannot be shared or stockpiled.
  • The attack must be the primary form of attack for this weapon.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This artifact is made by summoning a demon, making a deal with it, and binding it to the object in a long ritual.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action.

Summon a single Sapient Human seeming Bound greater shadow deceiver at your location. They last until they are destroyed They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. This Artifact may have at most one active at a time.

  • Initiative: Minions act directly after you in Combat starting the Round after they are summoned.
  • Combat: Minions roll 6 dice to dodge, Grapple, or make Unarmed Attacks. Their unarmed Attacks have 50 feet of range and deal +4 Damage.
  • Body/Mind: Minions have 5 Body. Your minions roll 3 Mind resistance dice.
  • Armor: Minions have 1 Armor.
  • Movement: Minions can move 15 feet per Round as Free Movement and double that when performing an all-out Sprint. Your minions can fly at their normal movement speed.
  • Intelligence: Minions have human-level intelligence and can speak your language. They can use equipment, Artifacts, and Consumables. However, they cannot Exert their Mind.
  • Actions: Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 3 dice. If ordered to protect someone with its life, your Minion may sacrifice itself to absorb an Attack on their behalf, provided it is within 15 feet of them. Your minion is able to Stealth with a 7 dice pool. Any other roll is made with 3 dice. They can lift and haul as though they have 2 Brawn.
  • Unusual: Minions are not obviously Alien.

You may end this Effect prematurely as a Free Action.

  • Minions die if targeted with Energy Transfer (before the Effect resolves) or if an Artifact or Consumable they use would Injure them or cause them to roll Trauma.
  • Your minions may count as additional targeting types based on their flavor. For example: Living, Computer, Creature, etc.

The ritual for this is a tricky one. Shape changing objects are a constant in the public's mind, but by it's nature, they aren't don't have many common symbols.

This took some effort from Vel, but after several trials Vel found a ritual involving
1 Destroying several different pieced of clothing simultaneously
2 reading then burning A variety of stories of Loki, Zeus, and other gods effortly changing shape
3 A chant about stories and specifications of shape changing objects in popular media
4 Carving the an image of a chameleon into the artifact being enchanted.

Which worked as intended.

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a Chestplate and just as difficult to conceal.

Spend a Quick Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of Apparel. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

When used as identification and scanned, the scanner will act appropriately and bring up appropriate generic information. Further searches for the identity in the computer will turn up no results. This will not open security doors on its own.

  • Changing the Artifact’s appearance does not allow you to conceal its Alien nature while any of its other Effects are in use.

This Artifact can be used as a shuriken. It is roughly the same size as a shuriken and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +2 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Return: When you throw this weapon, you may opt to have it return to your possession at the end of the attack. Whoever threw this artifact last may use an Action to recall it from up to 100 feet away, attacking one target in its return path as they do so.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +1 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.