Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

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This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

On Madness:
One gets uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if one is running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. Delphyrion feels this way towards content farms like 1-minute arts.


Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

During a long night as Allison was walking down a dirt trail, on her way to drop off a package for her Job. As she was walking she decided to take a 'short-cut' through the forest to get there faster and get paid faster.

After taking the 'short-cut' through the forest she would get the feeling that she was being watched and followed, after feeling this for about five minutes she would dive into a thick bush and quickly move behind a tree and begins to sneak through the forest.

As she was sneaking through the forest looking for the person following her she would come across a large creature looking thing only visible due to the moonlight shining just right, as she was following it the creature would quickly turn around and spot her..

After being spotted she would quickly begin running through the forest between the trees, however she would hear larger steps behind her she would come to a wide clearing before turning around spotting the creature again this time turning into a dark green mist as it begins to flow into her bag taking refuge in her bag.

This Artifact can be used as a container. It is roughly the same size as a Black Backpack and just as difficult to conceal.

Your Black Backpack holds 3 times what it normally could. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in your Black Backpack. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the Black Backpack in the process.

If your Black Backpack is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

When scanned or investigated without opening, the contents of your container appear normal and unremarkable.

If anyone other than you opens the container, it appears empty. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • There is no cost to use your container.

To fix a problem, you've got to find it first, and seeing is believing. The idea of the Psych-Scope came to Dr. Maddox in a dream, but it's design..that came from something otherworldly. The Psych-Scope's lenses are able to compose visual representations of conditions and traumas that a person is being affected by. The realistic manifestations found only within the target's mind, often deep within their subconscious can be unsettling. While active, it is hard to determine real from imaginary as the scope convinces your mind that the manifestations are tangible and not all dreams can be easily envisioned by an outside mind.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a Sapient target within 20 feet. You cannot investigate the same target more than once per hour. You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means. At the end of your investigation, roll Perception + Investigation at Difficulty 6.

You learn a single specific piece of information, chosen from the following list, about your target:

  • You determine any medical or physiological issues they have, as well as their species and a general overview of their biology.
  • You learn where the target sleeps, how long they tend to sleep each night, whether or not they have nightmares, and what their nightmares tend to be about.

The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

You cannot investigate the same target more than once per day.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Idealism was always thought to exist solely in concept, to associate reality with mental ideals as opposed to material objects. That somewhere in the cosmic lands above, a perfect image of this "thing" exists, and only its material imitations are founded in "reality". But what if a material object could be elevated closer to the status of its ideal perfect image? A question Luci had asked herself for a period, and while it took some time, she managed to find a way.

This Artifact has been upgraded.

This Artifact receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed. Upgraded Armor is shredded by half the normal amount. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.

Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.

  • "Destroyed" in this context means "prevented from functioning for its primary purpose", so for instance, an upgraded land mine would still explode as normal if triggered, even though it cannot be "destroyed" and a car's windows may still be broken.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.

This Artifact can be used as a javelin. It is roughly the same size as a javelin and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage. Attacks

You also gain the following effects:

  • Magic Quiver: Instead of throwing, this Artifact, it is an object that produces an endless supply of temporary throwable objects. For example, bracers that allow you to throw ethereal javelins, or a sack of throwing rocks that doesn’t shrink when you withdraw one.

  • Created projectiles last only until they strike their target and cannot be shared or stockpiled.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact can be used as a club / improvised weapon. It is roughly the same size as a club / improvised weapon and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Dark Harvest: Whenever you inflict an Injury with Severity 4 or greater on a Living target, you may reduce an Injury on yourself by 1 Severity. If the Injury kills the target, you may instead reduce an Injury on yourself by 3 Severity.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +1 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.