Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

1
This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

On Madness:
One gets uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if one is running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. Delphyrion feels this way towards content farms like 1-minute arts.

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: No Outside Food - upon sight or mention of food that you did not create, roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Gift from playing in Crois deora spent on new power: Schrodinger's Chef
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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a javelin. It is roughly the same size as a javelin and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage. Attacks

You also gain the following effects:

  • Magic Quiver: Instead of throwing, this Artifact, it is an object that produces an endless supply of temporary throwable objects. For example, bracers that allow you to throw ethereal javelins, or a sack of throwing rocks that doesn’t shrink when you withdraw one.

  • Created projectiles last only until they strike their target and cannot be shared or stockpiled.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action. This Effect cannot be used unless Nanites require area with active power or enough to last them the duration of the ability(at minimum car battery).

Your senses are enhanced in the following way. Lasts for three hours.

  • Smell: Your nose is highly sensitive and can differentiate between scents the way a dog can, as well as recognize things you have smelled before.
  • Electroreception: You may detect electromagnetic fields, electric currents, and even neurological activity in a 50 foot radius from yourself at all times. When detecting neurological activity, you learn nothing but the creature's rough size.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see Cornea HUD, Nose Hive..

  • When you are within 50 feet of range, your electroreception sense is sufficient for aiming.
  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate. Select a Living target within arm’s reach. Roll Brawn + Alertness at Difficulty 6. Your target may resist by rolling Body at Difficulty 7.

If you succeed, the target is afflicted with a Condition that causes one of the following symptoms:

  • Wasting Away: The target’s body is being eaten away by the affliction. Immediately on being afflicted, and again for every hour that passes, they will obtain a new Major or Minor Battle Scar.
Symptoms begin to appear immediately, and will remain and continue to worsen until the affliction is cured. The affliction is not contagious and will not spread to others.

The affliction is not treatable by modern medicine. It may be diagnosed by rolling Brawn + Alertness at Difficulty 6, and can be cured by ________.

This Effect ends if you are stunned, fall asleep, go unconscious, are incapacitated, die, or if your total Penalty ever exceeds 5.

  • Successfully diagnosing an affliction also includes information about the treatment method.
  • The chosen method of treatment must be something that you could obtain in a small town given an afternoon.
  • Curing an affliction removes the Condition, but does not automatically heal any Injuries, Battle Scars, or Traumas which may have been caused by that condition.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Exert your Mind and spend at least one Action. Select a number of Sapient targets equal to your Charisma within 20 feet. Make a Trauma roll when you activate this Effect. Communicate a command to your targets. Roll Charisma + Influence at Difficulty 6. The targets may resist by rolling Mind at Difficulty 7.

If the contested Outcome is positive, your targets will be compelled to follow your command to the letter-- but not necessarily the spirit-- of the command until they have completed it or for your Outcome in minutes. You cannot issue another suggestion to the target until 10 minutes after they have completed the first command or 10 minutes after a failure.

The target is unaware that they are under supernatural influence and feel they are acting of their own free will. If you fail, they realize that you were attempting to influence them supernaturally with your command.

Your command can be an order to take an immediate Action. You cannot order a target to "do nothing," and they are free to take other Actions as they fulfill your request. Commands can put the target into a potentially self-endangering scenario, including Combat, though you cannot force a target to directly attack themselves. Commands may force a target to violate one of their Limits, and they will need to make a Trauma roll once the suggestion wears off.

This Effect ends if you are stunned, fall asleep, go unconscious, are incapacitated, die, or if your total Stress ever exceeds 5.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.

  • When targeting multiple individuals simultaneously, they must all be issued the same command.
  • Exhaustion penalties and duration stack. If you activate this Effect or another Effect with Exhaustion, your penalty will worsen, and the duration is increased by one hour.
  • The target must be able to understand you and must receive your communication for the suggestion to work.
  • Allowed Commands
    • Direct Order: The target must take an immediate action (e.g. “Sit down,” "run away," or "tell me your password.")
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

It is said that great warriors in past times wore many of these enchantments at the same time, a sword in each additional arm, appearing as if they grew wings made from wood and steel, which led to the spell receiving its name: The Iron Wings.

You gain the following benefits as long as the limb only operates a melee weapon and you are wearing this Artifact.

You gain an additional limb that functions as a standard human arm and hand.

Each additional limb you posses can take one Quick Action per Round without incurring a -2 dice penalty to your main Action. Each additional appendage you have gives you +1 dice to make and resist Grapples (up to a maximum bonus of +4 dice).

Any Battle Scars that affect or remove your additional limb will heal in a single week.

You may turn this Effect on and off at will during its duration.

Your Extra Appendage counts as an object and can be hacked or targeted by any Powers that affect objects or machines. Injuries to your Extra Appendage cannot be healed by Powers that affect living things but may be repaired during Downtime.

  • You may only switch this Effect on or off once per Round on your initiative as a Free Action.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.