Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

1
This Artifact grants you the power to generate useful mundane items.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

On Madness:
One gets uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if one is running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. Delphyrion feels this way towards content farms like 1-minute arts.

Expend a point of Battery and spend 1 minute. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous.

Choose an Object which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.

Roll Brawn + Alertness to fabricate your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: No Outside Food - upon sight or mention of food that you did not create, roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • The Difficulty for the fabrication roll increases based on specificity. Something like a "shirt" would be Difficulty 5, whereas "Police uniform" would be Difficulty 9. The Outcome determines overall quality and how well the item fits the request.
  • You can fabricate a container of something so long as it contains a single type of thing (such as a tank of water) or it is designed to be packaged together (such as a first aid kit).

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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a knife. It is roughly the same size as a knife and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling (Dexterity or Brawn) + (Melee or Brawl), Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Bane: Injuries dealt to Demons are increased by 2 Severity levels.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This device now possesses a "Tissue reconstruction" application which will pair with a Bluetooth enabled device and implant a control subroutine while physically dispensing a nanite "goo" onto the target area of the subject. This goo quickly permeates damaged tissues and replicates to replace whatever critical structures are damaged, then begins the slow work of regrowing permanent native tissue in its place. From this point, if communication with the controller is lost before this month-long process completes, the nanites will shut down and lose cohesion, resulting in the failure of the repair. (If this artifact is a Bluetooth enabled device, it may serve the controller function if the user heals their own scar)

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a Living target within arm's reach. This Effect cannot be used unless The target possesses some form of Bluetooth enabled device to program as a nanite controller. Select a Battle Scar on your target to treat.

The treated Battle Scar heals as you finish activating this Effect. If used on a Battle Scar caused by an Unstabilized Injury, that Injury is Stabilized.

Your patient is required to remain within bluetooth range (30ft) of the selected control device, and keep it charged and operational for the next month. If they violate this rule, your treatment is immediately reversed.

  • The patient is aware of the after-care requirement.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

The information overload takes time to sort through, but comes as an 'aha! It all makes sense now!' moment at the end of the casting time.

Exert your Mind and spend a half hour. Investigate an area with a radius of up to 500 feet You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means. At the end of your investigation, roll Perception + Culture at Difficulty 6.

You learn the following information about the area:

  • You can tell which entities lay claim to each part of the area and how these borders have shifted over time.
  • You can locate the source of any Alien energy or the presence of any Alien effects on the area. Specific information about the function of these effects beyond their general type is not forthcoming.
The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.

You cannot investigate the same area more than once per day.

  • Exhaustion penalties and duration stack. If you activate this Effect or another Effect with Exhaustion, your penalty will worsen, and the duration is increased by one hour.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate.

You transform into A Horse for one hour or until you choose to end the Effect. You cannot transform into a flying creature. See the Extended System text for stats.

While transformed, you cannot use any equipment (including Artifacts and Consumables), and you do not have access to any of your Powers. The equipment you are wearing does not transform with you.

Injuries and Wound Level are carried over between forms. However, transforming can never kill you; you merely remain Incapacitated until your Injuries are sufficiently healed.

While transformed, you may speak and use any Influence or Communication Powers you posses.

While transformed, you are obviously unusual, unnatural, or alien, and the average person will take a special interest in you.

  • Creature Stats
    • Large (larger than human, smaller than elephant) Body: 8. Brawn 6. Dexterity 2. Fall damage increased by 2. Armor: 1
    All creatures get +3 dice to any non-combat Action that they are naturally adapted for. All creatures Medium and larger may attack by rolling Body, dealing +0 Damage (+1 for “predators”). Gms and Playgroup leaders can apply other bonuses and effects to specific animals.

After exerting a significant amount of time and mystical energy into this handgun. It has been imbued with a life of its own and cooperates with its owner to prevent any harm coming their way. It seems to be able to speak telepathically with its wielder yet cannot be heard by others.

This Artifact can be used as a handgun. It is roughly at least twice as large as a handgun and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal 6 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage.

This item is a living thing. It counts as a Creature when targeted. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • You may spend a Quick Action to change this firearm's base stats into those of any other basic firearm.

  • Changing this weapon's base type affects its range, Weapon Damage, concealability, and roll. Other mechanics of the chosen base firearm (such as the tripod requirement for sniper rifles) apply.
  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.