The consumable appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).
Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
On a critical fail, black goo will come out of the backpack, but that’s probably fine because the food looks amazing, right?
On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.
On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry*.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)
*Food will vanish from your stomach after 2 hours.
On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray. Oh hey, is the room spinning?
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)
On Madness:
One gets uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if one is running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. Delphyrion feels this way towards content farms like 1-minute arts.
Use up this backpack (unless you succeed on 1d10, Difficulty 7) and spend 1 minute. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous. Roll 7 dice Difficulty 6, dice penalties do not apply.
Choose a specific type of Food which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.
Roll Intellect + Crafts to fabricate up to 5 copies of your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.
You may end this Effect prematurely as a Free Action.
(Roll with corruption) Task spawns a lump of raw code, shaping it into a new form.
Exert your Mind (unless you win a coin flip) and spend 1 minute.
Choose an Object which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You may create firearms.
Roll Intellect + Technology to fabricate your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.
....
Exert your Mind (unless you win a coin flip) and spend an Action. You must actively and obviously use an example of the identification being made to activate this Effect.
Choose a specific type of identification which could fit inside a Ziploc snack bag (up to 1 liter). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.
Roll Intellect + Crafts to fabricate your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. Your created items no longer expire, and will last until they are destroyed.
The Smith's hands glow red, surging with heat, as he molds and shapes a lump of raw iron to his wishes, shaping it into whatever he can imagine. More complex shapes are more difficult for him to mold, but the quality of his work is undeniable
Exert your Mind and spend 1 minute to activate. You must use up Lump of Raw Iron in order to activate this Effect.
Choose an Object which could fit inside a messenger bag (up to 10 liters). It cannot be Alien and must be relatively basic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.
Roll Brawn + Crafts to fabricate your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. Created item lasts 1 hour.
You may keep up to three fabricated objects at a time that do not expire after an hour.
Dealer’s Bag is his own afro—a bottomless stash where anything can be pulled from its depths. But every draw comes with a cost: a sickly churn in his gut, like fate itself is playing a cruel hand.
Exert your Mind and spend 1 minute. You must actively and obviously use Afro to activate this Effect.
Choose an Object which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You may create firearms.
Roll Perception + Firearms to fabricate up to 5 copies of your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.
Possession of this Power grants the following Battle Scar: Weak stomach.
Darlin' absorbs the fan favorite gum from any location inside or touching Valentine. It uses up this sweet treat to exchange for an item/s.
Darlin' LOVES Big league chew.
Exert your Mind and spend 15 minutes. You must use up Big league chew (gum) in order to activate this Effect.
Choose an Object which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic but can include rare or complex materials (such as radium, gold, or drugs). You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.
Roll Dexterity + Culture to fabricate up to 5 copies of your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. Your created items no longer expire, and will last until they are destroyed.
Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see Tendrils drive their way out of Valentine's spine. Valentine bends over to give Darlin' a stable work environment. Darlin' starts to 3D print an item using Valentine's Body as a work table. You hear squelching and moist thumps as Darlin' works..
The magician reaches into their hat and focuses. Inside, light wells and flows like a viscous liquid. Then, they withdraws the item of their choosing.
Exert your Mind and spend 1 minute. You must actively and obviously use a top hat to activate this Effect.
Choose an Object which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You may create firearms.
Roll Perception + Occult to fabricate your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.
The survivalist is an expert at wildlife survival in any natural environment. Even in the harshest climates, they have the capacity to find food, water, and shelter.
Exert your Mind (unless you win a coin flip) and spend 15 minutes. This Effect cannot be used unless you are in a wilderness environment.
Choose a specific type of food, water, or survival supply which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.
Roll Perception + Survival to fabricate up to 5 copies of your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. Your created items no longer expire, and will last until they are destroyed.