Technically, I’m roommates with Buzz. But I don’t think I’ve even been in the dorm for at least a week. Things have been weird. Like he can tell something's changed about me. I can't lie to him though, so I've been avoiding him because if I tell him what the contracts are and he'll try to stop me. Dumbass might even try to ask to follow me on one so I'm "not going out there alone" but he's absolutely not built for this shit. So yeah. Avoiding.

Luckily, that’s given me some time to work on some stuff. I’ve been spending most of my time in the lab or reading. I’ve been reading a lot of theoretical physics and chemistry. I’ve even started reading some of the stupid esoteric shit that Carl Sagan wrote. The librarians have kind of given up on trying to kick me out of the library when I fall asleep there. 

 That’s how I met Harriet, actually. I was having a good ass dream about how you could engineer fireworks to behave like the dragon from that nerdy movie with the little Bigfoots and their British pointy hat grandpa Buzz likes when this motherfucker starts shouting at me about how I’m failing comparative Russian literature so why the hell are all the books under me for chem and physics classes I’m not even taking. So at first I thought she was stalking me but apparently we’re in 3 classes together and we’re in the same scholarship program. I also learned that I’ve accidentally been going to the scholarship meetings. Ish. I was just dropping into Drama room 207  at 2:50 on Tuesdays cause I knew there’d be free brownies there. 

Point is, I’ve missed a lot of Russian comparative literature classes. I thought is was like 2 or 3. It’s 7. And it’s only not 8 because the teacher was sick that week. And 2 of those classes I missed were in class essays worth 20% of my grade. Usually, I wouldn’t give a shit about this. But if I get kicked out because my grades are shit, then I can’t look after Buzz, and then Buzz’s stupid ass will probably end up taking the blame for some dumb jock’s house party where they found meth stuffed in the couches or something. And he gives a shit about getting to be at this school and his parents place is ass. 

Harriet made this device she’s been taking to classes that she’s been measuring what she’s been calling “Malfeasance”. Apparently, the amount present in the room shoots up when I’m around ever since I got Sacred Flame. So she offered me this deal. She’ll help me with the Lit class if I agree to be her test subject and be available whenever she wants. So now I’m her test subject for her paper on the chemistry of supernatural phenomena but I still haven’t actually told her anything about Sacred Flame yet because it’s fun to watch her struggle. 

She’s into occult stuff and I’ve started to read up on it a bit, especially the relationship between the supernatural and science. It’s been pretty interesting, actually. Dr. S gave us the keys to the interdisciplinary lab which has been sick as hell. Well, he gave Harriet the keys because I’m a fire hazard but technically, we’re sharing the keys. Well, I steal the keys when she isn’t looking and I put them back in her backpack when we have class together. She thinks she’s been misplacing them. It’s given me a lot of extra lab time lol. 

I still haven’t figured out what to do about the Buzz thing. He’s been blowing up my phone and gotten Knocks and the Fonz worried and now they’ve been blowing up my phone. 

Gotta follow up with Jangles to see if he wants to blow shit up this weekend.

Oh last thing, I’ve been practicing with Sacred Flame. It’s sick as hell, but… I think it made me crazier. But I also think I can manage it… probably. I haven’t killed myself or anybody else with it yet, so I figure I have a good handle on the situation. I do think it would be really cool to be able to transport the resulting flames from the explosion with me somehow though… 

You know something? Hiding that you've been stabbed is pretty hard. Hard enough in fact that Harriet called an ambulance in the middle of our lab time and also called Knocks and the Fonz at the hospital by stealing my phone and calling the most contacted people at the top. Luckily I was mostly healed because Leo put me in the magic coffin. But still, it looked pretty bad. Knocks and the Fonz were all like "Who did this?" and I just told them I didn't get out of the way of my explosives enough, which I don't think they 100% believed. So now I'm double grounded and Knocks has been coming with me on my way to school and picking me up from class to go home until I fess up. I'm not going to fess up because I don't think they'll understand... although I think they think I got in a fight with a drug dealer or something. Knocks is especially touchy about that kind of stuff since he used to have alcohol problems so honestly, I don't mind doing whatever drug tests or whatever he needs to convince him I'm not on the yellow brick road to drug addiction. On the plus side though, I've had some time to learn a few things. I've started learning some Wing Chun because my melee skills are ass. Like, nonexistant. I was shit at understanding what the hell was going on at Vermillion Manor so I've been asking Harriet about occult stuff again. I went to the gym the other day for exactly 30 seconds. Like I stood inside of the gym room for about that amount of time and I turned around because just being there made me want to throw up. So yeah, sticking with Wing Chun for working out. 

I haven't talked with Buzz for a little while. Not sure what to say about the Leo thing. Or the stabbing thing. And I think he might want to go on an actual date, like we'd be dating and that's just so SO weird. I shouldn't have kissed him like that. Now everything's strange. 

So this has nothing to do with Eddie except for that Henry and Alonzo are his parents. So anyway, here's their unsolicited "How I Met Your Father" story Part 1. Enjoy 😌

Henry was originally from rural Iowa, and the youngest of three (the eldest was Thomas and his sister was named Judith-Louise). Thomas had brown hair, Judith was a redhead and Henry had blonde hair. His mom Pearletta was the type of person that would joke that if you lined up her children in the right order, their heads would look like Neopolitan ice cream. Henry was the type of person who was quietly accomplished and capable. His excellence in academics and accolades as a teacher caught the attention of Fordham University when he applied to their Master's in Education program. So, he moved to New York City proud to represent his hometown. Most people who knew him were surprised that meek Henry would be the one to move to big city. Only his mother knew that it was only a matter of time before her baby boy moved east. That is to say, Henry had a lot to prove.

One frigid winter morning, Henry slipped on black ice and broke his ankle running on his way to class. When he went to the doctor about it, they wrapped it in a cast and prescribed him opiates. They helped with the pain, but he found that after he healed, he still needed more. (yada yada drug addiction, yada yada didn't get family help bc he wanted to prove himself yada got mixed up with the mob running books or something, gets nickname Knocks there, They help him ironically get off drugs specifically fonz does. ultimately becomes a social worker to help people with drug addiction problems. That's why he and Fonz were at the police station the day Eddie blew up his parents

Henry has a black mom and a white dad cause why not, I said so. he's called knocks because he always knocks on the door before entering, even to his own room

I seriously wish I could live someone else's life right now. 

I feel like I'd do really well as a dragon. I'd just set shit on fire, sleep, and wake up every month or so to eat a village's sacrifice or something. Oh, and best part? Everyone would leave me the fuck alone. Seriously, I would donate a kidney to the cause if I could do that even every other month or something. Sounds nice

Anyway, the reason I need that is because I've made questionable and maybe goodish and maybe awful-ish decisions lately. 

On the goodish side. I'm learning more melee. I hate it. But I'm gonna do it because I don't wanna die and I'm really shit at pvp. 

Reading up on more occult stuff because Harriet won't shut up about it in the lab so I might as well learn something about what the hell type experiments she's running on me. 

Tech, because it's fun. And because Buzz is better at it than me and so I can force him to tutor me.  

Oh speaking of Buzz, he got some robotics stuff published from the work his been doing with Professor Rekyavich (it still blows my mind that that dude isn't even remotely Icelandish). I got us pizza and nachos and sprite and also a Carvel ice cream cake because I'm the best best friend ever. Anyway he asked what's been going on with me lately and I told him about the really bad "dream" I had where a werewolf tried to eat my sorry ass. then he got all serious though and was like "Eddie you 

Questionable- 

I found out where Ante's casino is. I sent some hydrangeas over there to say thanks. I tried to match the flower colors to what I thought her eyepatch looked like.