I am not a hero, not yet. When I went back into the hallways of the plane I realized that. The blood of those people, the ones that I sacrificed because I wasn't strong enough to keep the monster down without outside assistance.
A lot of our existence outside of these jobs is meant to be personal. We don't really keep in touch all that often and from what I've observed it's very rare for not transactional relationships to form. So many of the people that take part in these jobs are, selfish, violent, volatile. Which makes it all the weirder that the moment we enter these jobs, people do their best to click with one another. This one esteemed carrot on a stick, the opportunity for power puts everyone in line. Knowing this dynamic however makes it all the more sweeter when you find yourself in a group that sincerely and simply is, nice. You can look into their words and get the sense that they're not in fact looking for an opportunity to stab you in the back and then sell your organs online, it's... comforting...
I don't understand it very well but when I'm on these jobs I feel like I'm back on set with the rest of the production crew just toughing it out together because we have faith and trust in one another to get this done. Cause the end product will be worth it, cause it's the only thing we can do.