I probably won't have too much to say about this contract since it was pretty much just us having some fun. Overall this was a pretty low stakes one all things considered. so the basic overview is that me, Charles and Louis were invited to the party of some rich dude named Francis LeBlanc because he has some supernatural artifact that I imagine the people who hired us would like to keep for themselves along with their dragon's hoarde of anything else remotely supernatural. At some point maybe it would be nice to take a little peek at what nice little trinkets they might have. But back to the topic at hand, the party was pretty dope. I remember being asked to wear something formal (not that I really did that) but honestly it didn't even matter anyway because this was nothing like any of the shitty fancy schmancy parties I crashed back in the day. This place had people dressed pretty fancy, yeah sure, but it was also wild as hell. There was a whale swallowing people and spitting them out it's blowhole, L M Fao was there party rocking, the butlers were in a crazy sex pit and the man Francis LeBlanc himself was a right legend. He's bald with a mustache that went all the way round his head and a weird hair harness (I do NOT want to explain what that means) but even despite all those eccentricities he ended up being pretty chill. So after a long conversation with the guy, in which I got to mention that I'm from the ossy fairy caves which is a pretty neat fact that I like to bring up from time to time, we managed to convince him that we're experts in the supernatural which I guess isn't too far from the truth and to let us borrow the artifact for further inspection. That might come back to bite us but I mean we could just say the government manipulated us if necessary, it's not like it's hard to believe that. 

Today's contract was a surprisingly big one. On the surface, it seemed like we were just supposed to be playing pest control but it was a bit more difficult than that. So starting from the beginning, I showed up at this haunted looking ass house to the usuals of Charles and Louis but also some new guy called Frazier. In all honesty I still don't really know what he does but he dresses like a stereotypical detective so I assume maybe that's apart of his whole deal. So we get in there and find some ants. You wouldn't believe this but this guy Frazier just starts scoffing on the fuckers and just keeps eating and eating. Once he stops, Charles gets the good idea to start using bug repellant. Even with that though, me and him don't find it wise to follow Frazier into the belly of the beetle and go straight in there with no plan. Although before that I did enlist a local rat called Jeremy to scout out the area and eat the ants but sadly he failed, god bless his soul. So, like any would, we let Frazier and Louis go in and do their own thing while we try and come up with a plan in my trailer. With plenty of alcohol. On the upside though, we did actually realise that alcohol is very bad for bugs. We assumed that the others would realise the other half of that plan would probably include plenty of fire, especially with Louis' incindiary grenades and all that. Before that exact situation did happen though, Frazier shouted for me to get him some milk which I happily obliged, even if I had no clue how it would help. After that they blew up the house and some corpse/bug hybrid creature came out which we promptly shot to death. I managed to show off my Kimber for the first time by getting the last shot and cooly walking over and disinfecting the area with alcohol. Frazier was on death's door but we managed to get it all done with and I surprisingly got to have another fun drinking session with Charles. So you've got to take the good with the bad really.

So this time out contract didn't start out the weirdest all things considered but it esculated A LOT. So I was with the family back at the old coke ovens for Christmas Eve when I got a letter inviting me to a company christmas party for all the contractors and handlers (yeah apparently the people like that Midas guy are called handlers according to one of my new friends). Speaking of, I saw some familiar faces along with making some new friends at this party. In chronological order, it started out with meeting a guy who looked like Louis G but an electrician and it ended up being this slightly hard to talk to lad named Louis E. After having an awkward conversationwith this man Frazier showed up which kinda helped the tension. I went up to some winged dude called Alexander who seemed to be annoyed by some other dude he wasn't super friendly with being a bit too friendly with him. I had a nice chat with him and he told me about a lot of things like what his contracts were like, including skydiving and a bloody giant handler who was helping Midas decorate, and different contractors, like a sentient octopus who had a handler shoot an arrow through his window and Louis G apparently knew. ALSO LOUIS G THE LEGEND ARRIVED.  He just kinda randomly swapped out with E while no one was paying attention and so we adjusted to that happening and went to talk to Otto the octopus. In the middle of us having fun, all of a sudden a huge sleigh with reindeers and goblins but no Gnorshlak crashed through the roof. Even though my less fey friends didn't believe me about the jolly green giant's existence, I still knew that we had to help find him. So me and Louis delivered the presents while we dropped Frazier off in Preston to find saint Gnorshlak since that is where he fell off the sleigh. This was my first mistake. That punk ass bastard Krampus was involved in taking Gnorshlak and I just let Frazier go in there alone with a rat I had trailing him in case. Because of this Frazier ended up getting put in serious danger trying to reason with the unreasonable and it's my fault. Not only that but when we finished and got there to help him, Krampus did something that shook Louis to his core. I still managed to save Gnorshlak and Christmas with the help of Jeremiah the rat but I feel my contributions were little compared to the amazing friends around me who risked their necks for the good of others. I hope they like the gifts I got them at least.