So I've had a pretty eventful day. I was hired to go to this one orphanage and find some child that this group was interested in (kinda weird but alright) and the guy told me that he was going to go into detail about the specifics and just did not. The only thing that changed was that we actually knew where we were going this time. And so wacky hijinks insued. As soon as I got to this drab, desolate shithole some would call an orphanage I was greeted by possibly one of the rudest people I've ever met. This guy called Grif. I don't know he seems like some kind of charlatan with his scheming (not that I have a problem with that, it's just that he was being rude as soon as I arrived). So we go in and we have to pretend to be a couple looking to adopt to get in. We have a look round and decide to talk to a teenager called Elliot (I think that was his name?) but Grif kept calling him Dennis so I think that's what's getting me confused about the name. Overall there was nothing too special about him except that he seems like he very much needs a loving family and he draws roadkill (those are linked by the way). After we talked to him I decided to talk to some kid named Bartholomew while Grif went for a shit. While he was gone I introduced myself to the kid and, like an idiot, said that I have a skin condition and agreed to show him it later. When Grif got back, just guess who was with him. None other than LOUIE G. What a legend. So we had a funny lil chat with Bartholomew and found out about some kid called Vingerhuot who has some kind of control over electricity after a long conversation about maths. Of course, before leaving I had to show him my skin (possibly one of the weirdest requests I've gotten so far). We then went to see vingerhuot and asked him about his powers, infuriating Grif in the process. We decided to adopt this funny little dude and give him the name Gjones. Obviously I had to go and adopt him on my own as one look at Grif's criminal record would just completely ruin the adoption plan. I did all that but I needed to get Grif for the last part so I called him from the toilet. Vingerhuot went into the toilet though so I had to go back there to collect him while Grif is figuring how we make our escape. Incidentally, while I was there, Vingerhuot started freaking out which I needed to help out with. I think this blossomed some kind of paternal instinct in me and I'm not too sure how to come to terms with that. At the end of it all we used the electricity thing as an excuse to take him away as we lied saying we're the police. So you see, yeah that all happened. I am a parent now. Not only that but I feel conflicted about the fact that these people are taking away my (now) son and doing god knows what. I feel like I should not care but I very much do. Weird times.

I probably won't have too much to say about this contract since it was pretty much just us having some fun. Overall this was a pretty low stakes one all things considered. so the basic overview is that me, Charles and Louis were invited to the party of some rich dude named Francis LeBlanc because he has some supernatural artifact that I imagine the people who hired us would like to keep for themselves along with their dragon's hoarde of anything else remotely supernatural. At some point maybe it would be nice to take a little peek at what nice little trinkets they might have. But back to the topic at hand, the party was pretty dope. I remember being asked to wear something formal (not that I really did that) but honestly it didn't even matter anyway because this was nothing like any of the shitty fancy schmancy parties I crashed back in the day. This place had people dressed pretty fancy, yeah sure, but it was also wild as hell. There was a whale swallowing people and spitting them out it's blowhole, L M Fao was there party rocking, the butlers were in a crazy sex pit and the man Francis LeBlanc himself was a right legend. He's bald with a mustache that went all the way round his head and a weird hair harness (I do NOT want to explain what that means) but even despite all those eccentricities he ended up being pretty chill. So after a long conversation with the guy, in which I got to mention that I'm from the ossy fairy caves which is a pretty neat fact that I like to bring up from time to time, we managed to convince him that we're experts in the supernatural which I guess isn't too far from the truth and to let us borrow the artifact for further inspection. That might come back to bite us but I mean we could just say the government manipulated us if necessary, it's not like it's hard to believe that. 

Today's contract was a surprisingly big one. On the surface, it seemed like we were just supposed to be playing pest control but it was a bit more difficult than that. So starting from the beginning, I showed up at this haunted looking ass house to the usuals of Charles and Louis but also some new guy called Frazier. In all honesty I still don't really know what he does but he dresses like a stereotypical detective so I assume maybe that's apart of his whole deal. So we get in there and find some ants. You wouldn't believe this but this guy Frazier just starts scoffing on the fuckers and just keeps eating and eating. Once he stops, Charles gets the good idea to start using bug repellant. Even with that though, me and him don't find it wise to follow Frazier into the belly of the beetle and go straight in there with no plan. Although before that I did enlist a local rat called Jeremy to scout out the area and eat the ants but sadly he failed, god bless his soul. So, like any would, we let Frazier and Louis go in and do their own thing while we try and come up with a plan in my trailer. With plenty of alcohol. On the upside though, we did actually realise that alcohol is very bad for bugs. We assumed that the others would realise the other half of that plan would probably include plenty of fire, especially with Louis' incindiary grenades and all that. Before that exact situation did happen though, Frazier shouted for me to get him some milk which I happily obliged, even if I had no clue how it would help. After that they blew up the house and some corpse/bug hybrid creature came out which we promptly shot to death. I managed to show off my Kimber for the first time by getting the last shot and cooly walking over and disinfecting the area with alcohol. Frazier was on death's door but we managed to get it all done with and I surprisingly got to have another fun drinking session with Charles. So you've got to take the good with the bad really.