I sorta mentioned it in the last entry, but... well.  I got my payment from the last job.  It's a pair of gloves.  They fit perfectly.  I.. think they're stained with blood.  Or maybe I'm just imagining it.  They only seem to be when you look at them from certain angles in certain light.  But...  that's not what scares me. 

It's the fact they're warm.  They came out of the box like that, and.. it's not like... just warm.  It's warm.  They're warm like a ray of sunshine.  I left them out for a while, and when I came back a few hours later, they were still warm.

I put them in the freezer.

I pulled them out an hour later, and.. they're warm, like a newborn babe.  I think they'll always be warm. 

I don't know what came over me, but I put them on.  And... they make me stronger.

A lot stronger.  There's a gym I train at.  I punched one of the training dummies, and I broke it.  Good thing I could pay for it, but...  hell.

I can't help but wonder if they're secretly draining my life force or something. But... I can't take them off. Or rather I don't want to take them off.

I'm light as a feather when I'm fighting, and... no matter what I hit, I can't feel it in my paws, and nothing on the gloves.

And I can feel it, in the bottom of my soul, that he's going to come back, and offer me another job.

And I'm going to accept it.

So.  I love the attention, but talking to people sometimes is hard.   And I do practice and stuff, but... it's hard.  But it's getting easier.  A lot easier.  I feel like... I'm learning faster.  It was so hard, before, but it's easier now.  I've been practicing each time I go out, and.. well, it's easier.   Easier to talk to people as they talk to me, easier to work a crowd, easier to have people talk to me, about me.  It's nice. Really nice. 

On the other front...  I've been talking with GenWyld.  I've been asking for more stuff constantly, and they've sorta stonewalled me for a while.  But after that last job... well, they opened up some of the good stuff for me.  And... hell.  They gave me some kind of armband that is apparently some sort of injector.  I can feel it poking into my arm some, and it's jumping something into me.  And it's amazing.  It's just... it's amazing.  I can run... so fast.  Like a blur.  My muscles are taught like cables, my senses richer.  But mostly it's the speed at the moment.  The others I can just... feel the promise of.

I'm not sure these jobs are the best for my life expectancy, given I've had to tangle with something each time.  But I can't see myself stopping.

These jobs... well.  Going to be honest, I'd never really considered myself a violent person before.  But.. there's a lot of violence on these jobs. 

And I'm good at the violence part.

Does that say something about me?

[The journal is written in a shaky paw, only half-legible]

So.  What'd I do this month, you ask, little journal?

Well, after the party, I'd spoken to one of the other contractors, David Vance.  And I agreed to speak with Gen-Wyld pretty much on his behalf and ask some questions.  And I did so.  And... okay.  Well. Turns out Gen-Wyld can almost bring people back from the dead.  Didn't expect that, honestly.  But I met up with him after, told him, and he fulfilled his part of it.  Gave me some nifty band.  It was too tight at first, but then it automatically resized, which was interesting. 

And while I'm wearing it, it's... weird.  It's like I'm attached, somehow, to my past self.  I can draw on strength, both physical and mental, while I'm wearing it somehow.  Keep me going even when I'm dressed.  It's comfortable enough I can wear it while I'm sleeping.

Other than that....

....

I headed to another Gen-Wyld Party.  I asked for more mods.

I got turned down.

I... sorta stormed out.  But someone stopped me on the way out, and they said they could give me what I asked for, if I came with them.

Dumb idea.

But I did.

And.... they did.

I had to drink from some kind of chalice. 

And...

I'm stronger now.  A lot stronger. 

But my paws won't stop shaking, and everything is... not right.  I woke up in a flop sweat.  Even touching things feels.. sharper. Everything is sharper, more vivid.

What's happening to me?

Today is.. meh.

So.  The last few weeks have been... a thing.

Been on the internet a bunch.  I... confess I've researched my self some.  Ugggghhhh.  Going along.  Trying to survive being a viral meme.  Talking with Gen-Wyld some.  Been working on my public relations start from.  Getting easier.  Working with people is getting easier every day.  ...I really shouldn't be, but I'm on twitter a bunch.  This vampire wannabe tried to diss me on it.  I ended up L+ratioing him.  ...Being honest, that made me smile.  Stupid wannabe dork.

It's kinda grown way beyond me, which is... impressive, and also like what the hell.  Why did Mark Collins warn people not to eat the foot cream and then eat it himself?  ...I guess at least I'm not alone in making a fool of myself.

Other than that.... got another batch of mods.  They're.... they're something.   I can move even smoother now.  Almost like an liquid.  And.. up walls.   The pads on my paws can... I don't know.  They can be like suction cups or something.  And when I need to, I can dig my claws in and pretty much run up a  wall.  It's amazing.

So, that's a thing. 

Otherwise... I don't know.  Whiskey is nice.  And I do have a nice ass.  Maybe I should do more jobs in just my undergarments.

As if.

I don't know.  Just trying to focus on the fact I saved a bunch of people's lives.  And prevented an outbreak.

Keeping meds in my backpack now, though.

Well, little journal.

What is one supposed to do when a large group of terrorists and other mal-contents put out a news letter that names you like... number three on their list of enemies?  Fuck.  I guess I need to hire private security - more than I already do - and figure out a better way to deal with them.   How does one deal with them?  It's like dealing with stochastic terrorism. I can't really punch all of the Sons of Salem.  As much as I'd like.  Assholes.  I guess I could try.  I'm pretty hard to kill... but even as fast as I am, I think there's just too many of them to punch.  Need a better plan.

Other than that... been talking with Gen-Wyld a bit more.   They've given me another augment.  It's... my muscles are even denser now.  When I flex, it's like my muscles are iron.  I'm pretty sure I can break someone's hand if the punch me when I'm flexing.  Or hell.  Maybe turn away a bullet.  Although I'm not super hoping to do that...

I've been practicing my charisma, too.  I like doing it, and I'm better than most, but... I mean, this is going to be a talking thing, right?  If I can't punch them all to death, I'm going to end up having to talk to some people to deal with this. It certainly does feel like it's getting easier, though.  I'm getting better at supernatural speeds. 

One day, I'm going to be so much more than these small minds in the sons of salem can imagine.

Okay.  Fine.

You were right, little journal of mine.

The sons of stupid salem aren't going away.  Today, after I close you, I'm going to go out and start dealing with it.

I'm planning on brushing up a little bit more on my self-defense (Honestly.  I... already feel pretty good at it, but.. I guess one can always be better, right?  Plus, it might not be the worst idea to be good at it just in case the sons of Salem decide to try something.  I've also started to get into a routine of flexing some.  I can feel the bulging under my fur, and... well, besides the fact it feels kinda good, it makes my muscles hard as steel plates.

But yeah. Still practicing talking, and I'm sure I'm going to need to talk to people.  But a little bit more direct action is.. you know, might be coming up.  I know I said previously I can't punch all of the sons of salem.. but maybe I can punch some of them.

Or hell. 

Maybe I can just try to get them declared a terrorist organization.   Not that the country is that hard on terrorist organizations as long as they're white and male, but.. you know, it might slow them down a little bit.

Yeah, probably not the best idea.  But fuck.  This entire thing is overwhelming.

I just need to talk to someone about it. That will probably help, right?  Someone has to have experience with dealing with this bullshit.

Fuck.

I've been talking to people still, trying to practice that.  Been getting easier still.  It's.. getting easier constantly.  I just smile, shake paw to hand, and... well, I don't know.  People have always been nice to me, but I'm getting even better at getting them do what I want.  Nifty.

Other than that, you know.  I've been talking with Gen-Wyld some, and they've given me a few small improvements.  But also other things, little journal.  But nothing huge. For that... I've been offered something else.  The Red Grail contacted me again.  And offered to let me drink from it again,and promised me much.

And so I did.  I barely remember that night, but I woke up the next day with huge bruises all over my body.  Pretty sure other things too.  But... my gloves, when I was drinking, some of the red splattered onto them.  I think it absorbed in.  When I smell them... I can smell whatever they touched last so much more.  I can smell... what people want.

So.  After being in that stupid town in the middle of nowhere, I've been working on my technique for opening doors.  Getting pretty good at it, actually.  There's not a lot that I think can take me wanting to go though it.  Other than that.. I don't know.  I've been thinking about the Sons of Salem, and.. and everyone like them.  And like.. we have to do something about them, really.  They're literally incompatible with.. everything.  I've been hesitating, but.. after last week, seeing what they did.. I don't think I should hesitate.  Hesitating is getting other people hurt. 

No more hesitation.  I'm too strong for that.

So...

As mentioned in the last one, still in Michigan, still here as we're dealing with fire.    I need to find a way to help.

I've just been kinda burning time, been practising combat a bit.  Feeling more liquid, which is nice.  Getting stronger, faster.  In a pinch I think I'm really scary now.  Really, really scary.

And... last night,  Liam didn't  come back again.  He was just out working, but... Argh.  Frustrating.

I dreamed last night, though.  It was... a vivid dream.  It was just flashes to that one night after the Gen-Wyld party.  I remember parts of it.

The memories are nearly as strong as some of the things.  It's the smells I remember the most, I think.  The tastes.  But it was all so rich, I can still feel it even in the aftermath.

And.. I'm worried about those memories.  I feel like if I remember them too much, they'll suck me in.

And I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing.

...Wildfires, supernatural threats, and now serial killers targeting those who aren't normal.  Things never get simpler, do they?  Just more and more fucking compounding bullshit on and on.

Things have been getting a bit better on the personal front, at least.  I think Liam is doing a bit better. 

But.. I've been thinking about  things.  And I've  been going out in the woods, and practising sometimes, to clear my head.  It's... intimidating, what I can do. 

It was one thing to be able to hit something really hard.  That I can understand.  This new thing... It's terrifying.  The raid on the Sons of Salem compound would have probably gone better if I could have done it, though, so.. that's why I keep practising.  I need to make sure that nothing happens to Liam.

And because I know that the fucking Sons are going to try something, and I want to be able to make it blow up in their faces.

I do sorta wish things could just go back to the way things were before.  When everything was.. simple.  When my biggest concern was who was going to bring me liquor.

But I don't think we can ever go back.

Just have to keep moving forward.

I hear Liam coming in the door.  I'm going to go tackle him. 

So... little journal.  It's pretty hard for a lot of things to hurt me. But not impossible, really.  So I've been trying to practice being a bit more aware.  Even when I'm drunk.  Like.. I typically don't really care if someone puts something in my drink that much - my metabolism is able to run pretty much anything though pretty cleanly.   But I'm trying to keep a better eye out and just keep a better eye on things, just in case.. I don't know.  The Sons of Salem come up with something that would be more than that. Or such. You know, journal.

Other than that.. practicing working with my paws a little more.  I've never been super into it, especially after the Red Grail, with the shaking.. but the Cyclobenzaprine helps a lot, and so I've just started working on that again.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Gen-Wyld patched in some new nifty thing, and I've been meaning to try it.. I'll tell you how it works after.

Was going out, and I'd talked to David - David Vance - some, so I decided to invite him along.  It was... heh.  Okay, maybe it's a little fun breaking people in.  He was in his shell pretty well, and... well, some liquor, some MDMA (and some other designer drugs) and that knew biochemical marker system Gen-wyld spliced in.. that's quite a party.   He took a bit to get into it, but yeah.  Exciting night.  I lost track of him at some point during the party, but... he was able to keep himself entertained, I'm sure.

Other than that... I got a letter from the Order.  Some words are spelt correctly only when the proper ink is used. The letter held promises and secrets, and I've practised some.  Most of them requires a somewhat rarer reagent to begin, but ... it's not that difficult to obtain, really.  Both sides with in that trade... even if I need to find someone new to draw blood from each time.

Can you feel how soft my fur is now, little journal? 

Got a new set of upgrades from Gen-Wyld.  Cost a bit, but... I think they've started comping a lot of it, and... you know, I'm wondering if they're using me as a test bed a bit.  Ah, well. All works so far.

Mostly.  The new fur is really nice, almost downy.  The underlay is a bit more of an issue.  It's not that bad typically, but I like hot showers.  And now if I make the water too hot, the underlay like... fluffs up, and I can barely even feel the water any more.  I guess that's great if I fall into a vat of boiling water?

I was about to write  'yeah, but that would never happen' but uh.. I don't know on these jobs.  Maybe I should see what the extents of it are, just in case.

In any case, I have a lot of redundancies in my body now.  Tough to kill.