I sorta forgot that the house had no power, and therefore no microwave, though.

Fuck.

So yeah. Spent a week on the bus getting back here.  Long time.  Drew down though most of my money Janus gave me.  Being on the bus is boring.  At least I can entertain myself.  In multiple ways, empty bus typically.

Finally got back to town (that was as far as the bus would take me) and got some cheap bike to ride it back home.  It was tiring.  But I made it with groceries!  Outside of microwavable stuff, I got some candy and stuff.  It was.. I dunno. What do you even say to people when you get back from that?

I talked with Grace some.  She was happy to see me.  It was nice.  Amber was sleeping.  She's always sleeping.   ...........I'm happy she's there, though.  I wish all the other kids hadn't died.

Even the prick one.

So, this time I didn't get any money to help me get back.  On top of failing miserably on the last job.

Stole a bus ticket off someone at the terminal to start, did little petty things like that to make it back.  If nothing else, I'm good at it.  Practiced a little bit too.  So what if it's not the best way to do it?  It's what I know, and it's gotten me this far.

Some guy grabbed me on the bus. I made a scene and he fucked off.

But yeah.  Eventually made it back.  And.. well, at least Grace and Amber were still there, although still no power.  We really need power.  Living without power sucks.  I have to ride my bike to the neighbor and like.. hide out in the mists and use one of his exterior outlets to charge my smartphone. 

I hate everything.

Argh.

I've always been... flighty.  I know that.  I think it's kind of understandable why.  It's.. not been easy, in a lot of ways.  But it's getting worse.  I can't imagine why, really.  It's not like I've been risking my life every month and I got attacked by werewolves just recently.  But I've been trying to stay calm, and I just want to jump at everything.  I'm always keeping an eye on everything.  I know Amber and Grace pretty well, so it's... well, I don't think they're going to stab me in my sleep.  But that's vaguely where my mind keeps coming back to.

I notice a hell of a lot more, though.  I can pick out if someone's in a disguise, like a snap.  And I flinch really hard, but.. I typically manage to avoid people touching me.  Getting better at that.

I feel like it's the kind of thing I should be trying to not react as much to, but.. most people don't have werewolves or crazy vampires trying to eat them, right? 

Fuck.

I guess I haven't really been doing that much.  Just.. trying to clean up around the house still.  I've started checking out (I actually got a library card!  Look at me, a productive citizen.) some books from the library and reading, and just.. trying to brush up on some of the basics of life.  I guess they seem a bit more useful now.  They didn't before, if you could believe it.  I feel like such an idiot.

But..  at the same time, fuck. It feels weird, but I felt like I had more important things I was worrying about back then.  They obviously weren't, or.. I don't know.  Maybe they were bigger to the girl back then.  But I'm different now.  More.  The issues that seemed so huge back then don't really seem that big anymore, but they were still big to me back then.  And that means I don't get to judge my past self that much, right?

Meh.  Fuck that bitch.