Returning to work was...difficult. Being this high up the ladder was like balancing on a house of cards. Every regional manager below me where gunning for my position, and in my absence, one had taken temporary control of my position as vice president. I would need to put systems in place to maintain better control while away. Additionally, rumours had begun to circulate about the specifics of my time hospitalized. Rumours of mental instability had to be quelled, so I doubled down on my workload.
I don't want to focus on this self-pity too much though...I was damn glad I had the resources and power I did.
I was weighing the pros and cons of continuing to work with these... supernatural entities. Cons were obvious, physical death the least of them. The danger of psychological damage to my mind must be taken seriously, and to a lesser extent, the danger of damage to my social and economic position. 

The pros were harder to measure. If I was correct, these supernatural benefactors could help me extend my life, possibly indefinitely. I considered hiring a PI to investigate "The Talent" who had hired me. I knew him, from somewhere...A board meeting at another company? A security Expo? Damn memories start slipping away at my age. 

Despite my age, I think I am ready for another of these "contracts". A few weeks of mental therapy and I think I can handle this chaos again. It wasn't so bad, and damnit if it didn't make me feel alive again. 

Shot the target. Reload. Fold into pen. Unfold. Shoot target. Fold, then unfold and reload.

I practice over and over again, folding my gun down to the size of a pen after each shot. Settling into a rythm of hitting target after target. My teacher, a grizzled vetran sitting next to me in the empty shooting range, shows no approval. No smile, no reaction to me perfectly hitting the target. Just "Again. Faster this time"

Shoot, reload, fold, unfold, shoot, fold, unfold, reload.

Nothing but a small nod and a comment. "Do it again." Fine.

Shoot, reload, fold, unfold, shoot, fold, unfold, reload.
"Again"
Shoot, reload, fold, unfold, shoot, fold, unfold, reload.
Again and again. Until I could do it without thinking.
I had always been a good shot, but before it had taken effort. Thought.
Now it was automatic. Like breathing, like walking. A single, fluid movment. Practice makes perfect.

Then the mental defense training began. Focusing on not thinking about something. Focusing on thinking about something continuosly. Playing mental chess. I lost handily every time. Sometimes you just can't teach a dog new tricks.

My mentor is embarrasingly younger than me. I know I got into the game late. But damn it if everything has to rub my nose into it. After all that, im still limping to physical therapy. Getting told by my doctor not to each any more salt. Like I needed to eat anymore.
Shoot, reload, fold, unfold, shoot, fold, unfold, reload.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

No rest for the wicked. Literally, now that I don't need sleep.

When I was out there, on the sea, I realized something. Maybe it was the icy water. Maybe it was the ghost of Harold Ford telling me. I am the rightful heir to the Ford fortune. I mean, think about it. I'm like him, a self-made, independent genius, with borderline-supernatural power. How could I not be his heir?

With this newfound realization, my goals are clear. Work towards acquiring more of this supernatural power, while slowly buying a controlling share in Ford Motors. Soon, I will be immortal, rich, powerful...it's everything I want. Everything I need. Everything I deserve. Normal people seem so weak now. Eating food, breathing air...humanity. I am at the edge of becoming something more. Something better. Post-human.

So I steel my mind with singular resolve. I will work towards these goals with single-minded ferocity. Train my mental and physical reflexes. Expand my stock of what I bring on contracts. I can worry about the expenses later, I no longer see money as power. This new power - these gifts. They are so much more...

I met up with my new friend Nathan. I believe he shares my vision of the future, of becoming more than human. He has this ability - this gift - to expand people's bodily functions. It made my brain feel...sticky? But it worked! It's subtle, but I can feel it. Faster reaction speed, a strength in my limbs that wasn't there before...

I have taken Nathan on as an employee, as a "private investigator". I don't expect him to do any actual work for me, other than these augmentations, but it's a good excuse for Nathan when he puts it down on his tax records. I agree to pay him $400k quarterly, for his continued service whenever I call upon him, given some reasonable notice. I see us working together a lot in the future - he is a very talented young man. I see great things in his future if he continues down this path. Although I must admit, I think his magic is a little... disconcerting. Mirrors and perception - It's a little spooky. I'm glad he is on my side.

Klaus dropped by our meeting room as well and picked up an augment from Nathan. Not sure what the payment was, but they seemed to sort it out. I'm wondering if I should start a company that allows contractors to meet, trade augments and abilities, that sort of thing. Like Offer Red but more private and elite. Might be a good way of finding more people capable of augmenting or supplementing my abilities. No plans for the near future, but it's something worth thinking about.

Following forms 11-a and 14-b subsection 1, under the United States Business License, I have registered a new company by the name of Metalcraft. I plan for the company to specialize in the production, trade, and protection of tools specifically between contractors, but It is still in its early stages. My goals for the company include the following:

A method for registering contractors for membership

Membership would include:

Insurance - If the object is stolen, all Metalcraft members will work towards returning the item to its rightful owner. A contractor will lose membership if they steal, destroy, or damage another member's property or attempt to kill or harm another member.

Trade - Artifacts, crafted, single-use, or otherwise, could be traded between players

Communication - Contact information of each member and the contact information for important employers

Again, these are just ideas. Plans. For now, it's just a company with no employees. 

I'm going to try and get Nathan, Eiden, Klaus, Janet, Juno, and Susan involved. I have gone on a few missions with them, and they all seem like reasonable people - after all, we don't want any crazy, pyromaniac murderers to join. 

But I'm out of time now. Next contract calls.

Made a few notable purchases recently. Had to buy a new jet - and those things are fucking expensive. Cost me pulling some cash out of my stocks. Additionally, I bought a $ 100,000 "super suit"...whatever that means. Haven't received it yet, but I sent half the price of the suit to someone and promised the other half once they delivered. The real price of getting that suit was sending a copy of my prototype Repair-O-Pen to Nathan, as he then told me how to get into a contract with Jason Valent, the man who makes these suits. Still not sure if these suits are supernatural or not, but Nathan swears by them and I trust him. Lastly, I spent a night crafting a second copy of the prototype to send to a Magi by the name of Juno. They represent a syndicate of Mages who would be a valuable group to curry favour with, plus they cured one of my battle scars in exchange. It was truly impressive, the magic they showed access to, so I must make a note to include them in Metalcraft™ when we launch.

On the topic of Metalcraft™, I plan on getting a list of contact information of contractors together. The following contractors are those I have contacted to see if they are interested in a position as a founding member of Metalcraft™.

Harold Ford (Myself, duh)

Klaus (Australian Lockpick)

Eden Joss (Park Ranger / Dragon)

Nathan (Mirror magic and augmenter) 

Juno (Wealthy Wizard)

Susan Hoggmath(Mad Scientist)

I contacted them with an e-mail or (I text a few of them first, to then get their e-mail) similar to this:

"Harold, CEO of Metalcraft™ here. After working with you and seeing what you could bring to a team, I am interested to see if you want to want to join Metalcraft™: A Non-Profit company I am starting to encourage the free trade of artifacts between contractors and provide a deterrent for theft. This company is not up and running quite yet, but I am trying to find interested contractors. Examples of services it would provide include loaning artifacts between contractors and trading supernatural artifacts back and forth, as well as post-human healing. E-mail me back if you are interested. If you get in now, you will be considered a founding member and part of the Board of Directors."

The wheels are in motion!

After a few votes, the board members on metalcraft changed it's name to the transnational guild of plumbers. We decided to meet up in person, so Juno booked us a hotel room. Nathan, Juno, Susan and I arrived and Nathan conducted a quick interview, basic stuff like "do you plan on harmig and guild members". He has some sort of lie decetion ability, so we able to desern everyone was honest. Then we talked philosophy and about the afterlife for a bit, and the specifics of what we wanted the Union's pourpose to be. I took a full transcript, but won't bore you with the details. Anyway, it went very well, and hopefully this continues to be a fruitfull endevor that reduces the risk to any individual contractor. The goal is just to protect eachother from robbery, murder, and similar. Don't want anyone stealing my artifacts, as they are very important to me.

I have begun frequenting churches, cults, and spiritual centers trying to find anyone who can consistently, measurably interact with the dead. So far, it's all parlour tricks and sleight of hand. And they don't seem to have consistent answers to simple questions, like what it feels like to be dead, or what exactly a soul is, or the relationship between one's mind and brain. I gave up on the religious sort and tried academics again, but this time instead of the unnaturalists and psychologists, I talked to a few professors of philosophy.

To my surprise, this was far more helpful. They presented real, logical and evidence-based arguments for and against the afterlife. Many of them had been engaging with religious folk and scientists as I have, asking questions until it revealed the truth: No one knows what the hell is going on. The physicists claim it's all electrons in the brain, but can't explain the supernatural. The religious all have conflicting definitions and fluffy language. I have begun to realize my actions closely resemble those of Socrates. On some level, you must admit there is humour. Thousands of years of science and reason, and we are no closer to understanding reality. 

Still looks like it's turtles down, to me. Additionally, my dreams have been filled with religious imagery and symbolism of the dead - It seems my mind turns on this problem even while I sleep. I fear somewhat for my sanity. I still go to therapy, but their advice seems like a broken record now. "Just don't worry about it", they say. "Focus on living well".

I have started to think about suicide a lot. It would answer the question. Is knowledge worth that risk, I wonder?