I'm gonna be honest with you. I had no idea what the hell was going on half the time. Must be some hidden instinct within my body that's allowing me to move forwards. I don't know what caused me to accept my situation so quickly, but I'm glad it did.

Anyways, the good news is that my first contract was something pretty simple, gave me time to learn about these new things. If all contracts are like these, I doubt I'll be having trouble in the future; on the flipside, however, the chance of this being common is undoubtedly low. I have to prepare myself better for the next time.

Now, I've always wished to be able to go out into the field with my work, but there truly was no way to fight against most of the supernaturals that exist in the world. I'm a bull-headed individual, but I ain't gonna sacc myself for nothing. But, after being confronted by this… Harbinger… and being able to see these supernatural anomalies up close, I understand what I must do now.

Most heroes would say that they must save as many people as possible, or to find the source that's creating these monstrosities. Perhaps someone evil would want to use them for good. But I see things as they truly are. There are far too many, far too varied. So, then, why should I be trying to fight them? What if… I just create people who want to fight them instead?

Also, I should get a gun.

I knew I wasn't invincible.

It's obvious for me, and from my point of view. But my teammates? They couldn't die, obviously. They were too special, too ambition, much more determined than me. And I would sacrifice myself if they ever got hurt, that was what I was designed for, after all.

Clearly, I was still wrong. I'm sorry, Bella Mochrie.

She died, shot in front of my eyes, "I totally know where your kids are" were her last words. There was no time to save her, nor could I have. The moonlight glistened the bullet that went through her head, highlighting the brain matter that had leaked out onto the ground. Then I ran.

I didn't want to go, I promise, but something forced me. I'm still so sorry Bella.

I finished the contract, and return to meet up with Jordan. He didn't seem that distressed, but the death must've bothered him. I still can't feel that it was real… she died. I'm so sorry… 

imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry

I will never let another harm those that were kind to me. Ever. Again.

I'm writing this as both a promise and a regret, that I will try my best to help those who help me, even if it means killing people. I hate this feeling of negligence, I could've stopped it, I truly could, but I didn't. I ran away because I was too afraid to kill. I won't make that mistake again. I'll do what is necessary for the survival of others, even if it costs me my life.

Also, I should probably move to America, seems like that's where all the popular contracts are.

I got a gun from a guy who I then shot.

Got myself some lockpick tools, then practiced a little on some practice locks.

Upgraded my jacket to reinforced thread, along with getting a flak jacket in case I need it. America is really "free" in that access, I guess.

And I started getting a dual citizenship here as well.

I also bought a few more things as well: wire cutters, flashlight, and some other nik naks.

With one last installation of my scarf so that it can work as a professional N95 mask.

Finally, I started working on my bands. I'm making it out of my beads, though I don't know if I can keep making the beads after completing it, considering that the beads don't seems to exist when another exist, unless it was under certain conditions. Perhaps I can find a way to properly craft these into artifacts of some kinds, but until then, this'll have to be kept a secret.

The only reason I don't actively kill anyone is because I believe that no one is truly evil. But after today… I don't think so anymore.

After everything that's happened the past month, I understand what I must do in the future. I can't hesitate to kill people that put my friends in danger.

I've talked to Saph about it as well, and surprisingly she isn't against the idea. She gives the reason that there's no way for me to protect myself otherwise.

Especially after I found out about the spores from one of the contracts I did had infected me as well. I don't have long to live with this thing growing in my head, so I'll make the most out of it by spending my time transfering my knowledge to Saph. Perhaps she can continue the work meant for me after I die.

She really doesn't like the idea of me preparing for my death, but what else could I do? I haven't found a composition that would allow me to heal diseases yet, so there isn't any reason for me to do anything different.

I just hope that I can find a cure. I did promise Saph that I wouldn't ever leave her if we got married, but maybe we shouldn't now that I know I will break the promise. A better plan would be to try and earn enough for her (and a kid if she want one) to live happily for as long as possible.

I also hope that she never finds these journals. She would hate for me to be talking about my death like this.

I did it! I've found out how to make the metals into proper bands! This should allow it to give me powers passively without the need to activate it. Very cool indeed.

On a separate note, I've found out the location of a supernatural event near me, though I have no idea if it is legit or not. I'm going to go check it out tomorrow and see if I can find a cure for this stupid disease in my head. If I can't, well, I'll keep trying. But until I work out what is wrong with me, and then fix it, I'll keep developing these tools for a future Contractor to take, just in case I die.

Saph is still very mad at me for preparing my death, but at the rate the fungus is growing, it won't be long until it kills me. I don't know how I know this, but I intuitively understand that I have about a month or two before I cross the point of no return, and the infection will be so bad that getting it taken out is the only option to survive. I don't think I can do that anytime soon, so I'll keep focus on trying to stop it from growing.

Well, if this is my last journal entry… I love you, to the people who housed me; I love you, to the friends I've met in this world; I love you Saph, for being always there for me; and I love you Kell, and I hope Saph takes good care of you.

s            i         .

      h         t        . .