C L Y W's Journal

✡︎💣︎☺︎ ☼︎☞︎✡︎🕈︎☠︎👍︎ ✠︎✡︎❄︎🕈︎☺︎🕈︎❄︎❄︎☼︎

The Matrix Storeroom is Clyw's personal encrypted room for storing text chronicles and notes.  The room itself is a closet sized black space lined in glistening circuitry patterns. it's also capable of running DOOM (1993) on every single screen.

ENCRYPTION KEYS ARE AS FOLLOWS

BASIC

TRANSLATE WINGDINGS TO ENGLISH

STANDARD

TRANSLATE WINGDINGS TO ENGLISH, FOLLOWED BY CAESAR CIPHER AT -4

ADVANCED

WINGDINGS TO ENGLISH, DECODE FROM BASE64, CAESAR AT -6, CAESAR AT -4

Maikendo
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Downtime

Audio Log #0 - The Beginning of The End

Maikendo Spoilers Ahead, Ye Be Warned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

''That was...Amazing! Holy shit, that was so cool!''

Jade excitedly speaks into a camera mounted onto their setup, arms waving wildly

''You guys wouldn't believe it! I'm telling you-- Okay, okay-- THIS cartridge?'' Jade pulls the Maikendo Game Cartridge out of their headset

''This fuckin' thing, dude...You wouldn't even know. It's like a whole W- WORLD in there!''

Jade pumps their fists in excitement, kicking their chair away from their desk and spinning around a bit

''So cool, it's so cool! This thing just showed up at my door, like some creepypasta shit, but it's for real!?''

''Okay, i need to put this down, like, before i break it. But fuckin'-- Look at that!!'' They slot the cartridge into the headset one or two times, just to show it off to the camera. ''How does it do that!? It's magic! There's no slot or anything!''

''Man, it really makes you wonder... Like, what else is out there? You think maybe in Neogenis there's some dark underside or something? I dunno, man. I was basically day-one anyways, i was lucky enough to snatch this thing when i could. Been too busy freaking out over how fucking COOL all of this is! I- I mean, can you blame me?''

''it's just like...ghgkglglfjfshksdsja, you know!?'' Jade shakes their hands expressively, hands tensed into a grabbing position. ''I can't word it outside of so, god damn, cool!''

''Dude, i gotta show this off to all of my friends, i'll like, record some footage or something. I mean, like, wow...Whew...''

''Okay, i'm gonna calm down, i think. Before i trip on a cable and trash all my shit.''

Jade scoots their chair back in, breathing in and out. ''I wonder if this'll fit in *anything* i can get my hands on. Like, this is some Nintendo looking N64, NES whatever, but i think i could feasibly run this on anything, maybe even a calculator. Haha...I mean, you know. If the calculator can run doom, it could run this.''

''Listen, any of you motherfuckers on the discord, if you know what this is, tell me, man. 'Cause i'm really, really interested to learn more. Bonus points if you played this as a kid.''

''CC Out, for now, till next time.''

Deep Dives
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Downtime

Audio Log #1 - Jade Stevens

A noticeably more human sounding voice, certainly less hollow and cold, speaks into the digital microphone.

''...Are these candles...For me?''

''Hahahaha...R-Really?''

''I didn't think, uh...I didn't think I mattered that much.''

''It's...'' The sound of one of CLYW's identity disks buzzing to life can be heard. ''...Surreal. You know, seeing your own funeral. Hard to think about, actually.''

''Ugh, this crack. I can't fix it, no matter how hard i try. I've been trying to weld it shut.'' The sound of grinding metal and sparking electronics can be heard, much to this person's discomfort. ''Can't buffer it out either, god, damn it...I forgot to turn down the pain factors. That, uh...whew, man. Honestly, i forgot how it felt- getting hurt. It's been...maybe a week or two. Since, i, uh... You know.'' The clattering of metal is heard as the disk is tossed to the side. ''...Whatever, doesn't matter.'' That familiar mechanical voice says.

''SORA REALLY DID A NUMBER ON ME. IT'S A FOOLISH MOVE TO CARE FOR SOMEONE SUCH AS ME. WHERE I'M GOING, IT'S NO PLACE FOR EMOTION. IT GETS IN THE WAY OF THINGS. I SUPPOSE MY FRIENDS IN A PREVIOUS LIFE MAY HAVE CARED, BUT AFTER I MADE THE TRANSFER, AND ALL OF THE MODIFICATIONS TO MY CLIENT, THERE'S BEEN NOTHING, RADIO SILENCE.''

''I AM ALONE.''

''IT'S BETTER THIS WAY, I BELIEVE. PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY, I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. WITH A BODY THAT BLEEDS, I AM WEAK, BUT IN CIRCUITRY AND BINARY, I AM STRONG. I'VE BEEN REPEATING THAT TO MYSELF FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW. COME TO THINK OF IT, I DON'T THINK I'VE LEFT MY LITTLE SIMULATED BUBBLE AT ALL SINCE I COMPLETED THE TRANSFER. IT'S BEEN NOTHING BUT TRAINING SIMS AND TECH DEVELOPMENTS FOR TWO WEEKS, AND THE WORK HAS BEEN FRUITFUL; MY PROTOTYPE IS ALMOST COMPLETE. I HAVE YET TO GIVE IT A PROPER NAME, AS THAT COMES LATER, HOWEVER I'M DRAFTING UP PLANS FOR THE DEVICE AFTER THIS ONE.''

''A CYBERDECK, AND NOT SOME LAST-GEN OUTDATED HARDWARE BARELY CAPABLE OF PUNCHING THROUGH SOME MEASLY ANTICHEATS, NO. I'M TALKING BLEEDING EDGE, CUSTOM DEVELOPED HARDWARES, OPERATING SYSTEMS, PRE-SAVED DATA LOADING CAPABILITIES WITH LIGHTNING FAST OUTPUT SPEEDS. IF ALL GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN, I'LL HAVE THE FOUNDATIONS FOR SOME OF THE STRONGEST TECH NOT EVEN MONEY COULD BUY.''

''IT COULD ALMOST MAKE ONE LAUGH, THE THINGS I'M PLANNING TO DO- AS IF THE GAMBIT I JUST PULLED WASN'T STUPID ENOUGH. I, I-...''

The human sighs.

''I can't keep doing this forever.''

''In fact, you know...Clock's probably already ticking. Karma's a...Funny thing. One day you're on top of the world, top of your game, the best in your field. And then the next, you're, well. Gutter trash, bottom of the river, dead body. So to speak, at least. Don't know when i'll get that sweet karmic justice, really, but i have a feeling it's already in motion.'' The sounds of some electrical whirring can be heard as a device shuts off. ''I'm way in over my head, a dead man walking.''

 

''Sora was right, you know.'' The voice backs up a little bit as some rickety furniture squeaks. ''I made quite the mess of things. Really, i did. Threw my entire life away at the age of 19, and...for what? I- I mean, i-...'' They growl, fists slamming onto a display that breaks under the weight. They let out a long, tired, sigh.

''I don't know. I don't know what i'm going to do next. I know i act like i- i know the game inside out, but...Really, i mean, there's just nothing. No plan, no goal. I'm just chasing some wisps of light, at this point.''

''The thing is, though, CLYW. As a character, as a medium between me and the game, they were just supposed to be a fun outlet for my geeky computer stuff, toss in some heartfelt references to some movie from the 2010s and, voila. One machine mastermind. They were just that, a character, an online persona, no different from a discord profile. But now that the wall between me and him is gone, who's to say that we won't start mixing? This world is my life now, and CLYW, previously my vehicle to traverse this world, is now me, Jade. We're effectively the same person. I'm just worried that one day i won't be able to find myself amongst the tangled mess of wires and god complices of him.''

''I may have killed myself, but...I don't want to die. I'm afraid of that. I don't want to become him. There's no telling the dangers i've put myself into, and, and-...''

 

''Please, if anybody finds this, if you somehow decrypt these files, go find my grave. Send this account an invite into the lobby instance you're in, if i show up, sit down and give him a good talking to.''

''Knowing my penchant for the utterly insane, it's only a matter of time.''

''I've really got to get out of here. I mean, listen to me, rambling on like i'm already dead. I haven't spoken to another player in weeks. What if someone sees me, though? Will i get turned into some creepypasta? Will i be demonized for wearing a dead person's face? What happens?'' Neogenis' UI noises can be heard as they scroll through various worlds. ''The only way to know is to find out, i guess.''

''Sora...If i ever see him again, i've got to tell him the truth. Not as CLYW, but as me. Maybe i'll send him this file.''

''Until next time, i guess. Jade out.''

Deep Dives
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Downtime

Audio Log #2 - ALONE.

''This is um...Jade, again, It's me.'' Jade clears their throat. ''God, this whole one eye thing is rough, you know? Anyways, i had some things to say, as...Me. Not CLYW, just me.''

''I'm glad i don't have to type these out.'' They mumble slightly away from the microphone.

''I've yet to receive anything back from Sora, and Jerm hasn't been on for months. It's just so... Lonely. Every single one of my added 'friends' i haven't seen in such a long time. It's really killing me.'' The sound of something suddenly depressurizing is heard alongside mechanical whirring. ''It's just occurred to me that i haven't removed my bodysuit since I've made this avatar, so i added in some various extra features, just for my own comfort.''

''But, uh, that's besides the point. That's actually kind of awkward.''

More hissing is heard, ''Man, i just cracked my knuckles for the first time in a month. You have no idea how good that felt.''

Jade clears their throat, ''Sorry, sorry, oversharing.''

''It's been...Cold. You could say it's been cold, i guess. I didn't really fit this place out with temperature capabilities, and i usually keep myself relatively numb when it comes to just existing. You can thank the headset's settings menu for that. Cold, dark, and quiet. Just the way CLYW likes it, but...''

''I don't know how to say this-- I'm not CLYW. I'm just a guy who really likes being CLYW. I'm Jade, and what Jade likes is being human. I guess i made a bit of a mistake when i just threw myself into the void, you know...I don't even know why i did it anymore. My old life's so distant now.'' They speak dispassionately, similarly in nature to their gameplay counterpart. You can hear small whirring sounds as their fingers tap the reflective surface of their desk, cutting through the painful silence of the lifeless area. After a long while, they speak again. ''I could suppose I...I don't know. I was bored. I was bored of living. I didn't go out, i made barely enough money to do anything actually fun, and i had a dead-end freelancer job that i hardly got work for. It felt like there was nothing left for me, and...''

They keep tapping their fingers at the end of each sentence, like some kind of impossibly complex machine running dozens of hundreds of thousands of calculations a second, the silence is painful between each and every silent punctuation.

''I guess i just wanted to give up, you know? I could never afford college anyways, it's not like i could have made a name for myself. Online i was only known as a prospector of dusty old tech and a hoarder of shiny new tech, and my friends from high school, man, oh man. We drifted apart hard after graduation. We hardly even played games together anymore before i flipped the switch.'' You can hear the sounds of something being placed upon a desk and the sounds of a computer whirring to life.

''Sometimes, i look at this floppy disk, you know, the one containing me. My everything. And i begin to wonder...I wonder what happens if i load it onto something. What it would see if i connected it to a computer. Would it feel...trapped, in it's shell? Would it feel at all? Do i want to try and wake it up? Would it give me someone to talk to?...''

Jade sighs, shutting the device with a soft 'thwump'.

 

''It's...It's too dangerous to try, i mean- This is...This is a copy of a mind, I'm holding it in my hand right now.'' More mechanics whir slowly. ''It would be so easy to break this disk. It would be so easy to destroy...it?...Destroy myself?'' The sound of hydraulics letting up pressure is heard. ''I don't think i should. The way i see it, this version of CLYW, or...me. Is asleep. Oblivious and docile. Wouldn't notice anything until i tried loading the data. In theory i could reconfigure it's neural network, if it even has one. I'll make a better me.''

''It's hard to visualize, even for me, playing god to such an extent is unheard of.'' The disk is slotted back into it's safe containment. ''I doubt any of the other guilds out there could understand it either. In fact, Sora's the only one who really 'knows', because to everyone else i'm just some kind of error, that's how i see it, It's why i don't go places much, i just don't want people to know.''

''I'm still alive. Very much so. With all my faculties and thoughts, I'm real. Tangible. Maybe that's just me trying to convince myself of the fact.''

 

''When i die, and the copy takes over...If. If he takes over, will he find my body? What will he think then? In his mind, he's still the original.''

Jade sighs, mechanical fingers making a 'klak' sound against their glass faceplate one by one.

''This has gone a little too far off the rails for my taste. So, Jade out. I think i'm gonna go take a walk around my little space, clear my head.''

BREACH
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Downtime

Audio Log #3 - It was bound to happen.

''Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.'' The sound of something impacting CLYW's helmet is heard, rhythmically thumping against the glass.

''So stupid, i could have done so much more. I could have done so much better. I can't believe the shit i'm in. Anyone with so much as a pinky toe dipped in this mess is as good as dead. I can't believe it.''

''The Grim Reaper is coming now. He's here to collect for all i've done.''

''And he's an Angel.''

There is a long silence before Jade speaks again.

...

...

...

''I...I...''

''I can't stop it. You can't stop Death. He's just...He's just going to be watching, until i slip up.''

''From how They described it, it's an unavoidable fate, all you can do is run.'' The sound of hydraulics whirring can be heard as their fists tighten.

''I have to be faster than ever now. There's no getting out of it. I have to run quicker than my own two legs can carry me, at this rate. For the first time in a long time, i...''

''I'm actually afraid.''

''I'm scared, man. I thought i mastered this. I'm top of my damn field, and yet i made such a rookie mistake.''

''Turns out, i've met face to face with my own god and i just didn't realise it. They were beautiful, in a way. Something that shouldn't exist and yet it does. It's a virus, something that digs deep and stays there, and i saw it firsthand. My, god, it's...It's so improbable, yet so, so wonderful.'' Jade laughs, throat cloasing up a little bit.

''I guess if i want to earn this existence, i'm going to have to fight for it. I'll find a way to beat whatever this Angel is. There has to be a way. Every computer, every program, everything has it's faults. There's a crack in the armor i just need to find, and once we do, we're going to rip this thing apart byte by byte.''

''And if i can't...I don't know. Maybe i'll leave the floppy disk to Sora. In any case, above everything else now, i'm going to need to innovate at light speeds. Develop everything i possibly can to avoid The Angel. I can't play by Neo-Genis' rules anymore, but the more i do, the more i run the risk of finding It.''

 

''In exchange for his soul, i've doomed mine. I hope you're happy with the life you've been given, Q, because it better be worth the price i paid. Under no circumstances must you waste it.''

 

''Hahahaha...I'm-- I'm talking to walls. Man, i really have lost it. Jesus, i really need to keep it under control.''

''Jerm...'' Jade sort of sticks on his name for a second.

''Jerm, is he...''

''Can i trust him? Can i even trust Sora anymore?''

...

''Of- of course i can, right? I just can't let them know about it.''

''Seems like everyone i meet always has something to say to me...'' They growl, ''Always being told off like a child. It aggravates me to no end.''

''Damn it all.'' Jade says, as if declaring a statement.

''Damn it all to hell. How would they know? How could anyone, outside of the two of us, understand what we're putting at stake?''

''If i'm getting into something i don't understand, it's not because i'm doing it on a whim, it's because NOBODY else understands. It's not every day you casually unearth a sentient virus or discover the most persistent anticheat program. This is the fucking frontier, and i don't see Sora getting his hands dirty trying to explore it. Bottom line is, you have to take risks, and those risks get you burned.''

''AT THIS RATE, I'M NOTHING BUT A CHARRED CORPSE. WITH THE THINGS I HAVE TO DO, I'M GOING TO BE NOTHING BUT ASHES IN DUE TIME.''

''THEY WILL NOT MISS ME, THEY WILL NOT CRY, WILL THEY?''

''THEY WILL SNEER. AND THEY WILL LASH OUT IN RAGE. THEY WILL CALL ME AN IDIOT.''

''I'LL BE A FOOL TO THEM,'' CLYW slams the desk. ''NOTHING BUT A JOKE.''

''IF THAT'S HOW THEY SEE ME, FINE, IT'S ALL A WASTE ANYWAY. I HARDLY MATTER IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS REGARDLESS.''

''IF I'M GETTING INTO SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND, I'LL DO MY BEST TO LEARN. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE THAT, SORA? LET THE BUMBLING IDIOT GET BURNED IN THE FIRES OF THEIR OWN HUBRIS. OH, YES, I'M SURE FINALITY WOULD BE HAPPY.''

''I KNOW I WOULD BE TOO.''

Unbeatable
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Downtime
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