I'm beginning to think me being stupid is part of me being a dog. Ok not because I'm a dog, but because whoever made me a dog- jeez I get so mad when I think about this- WHOEVER DID IT MADE ME STUPID TOO. They made me a dog, and made me STUPID so I can't not be a dog. So if i'm smart enough to figure that out, I'm smart enough to fix whatever did this, so I can be people again. But first I need to get smart. It's time to start figuring out this gift stuff, and figure out what happened to me. If I can do that, I might have a chance to get better.

Gary has some old pictures of where he found me, I can check that place out while he's asleep. Or at night. Or at night while he's asleep. It's easy enough to climb the fence, and I should be able to get around and find my way back. I can find my way back. I can do this. I have the harness too. Just in case I get lost.

My name is Waldo! I AM A HUMAN PERSON. Ok getting ahead of myself. So today I did it, I went exploring and picked up a scent. I remembered a building, the animal shelter. Obviously I should have started there but Gary had a lot of pictures. Getting in was very easy, given that I am a dog and this is a building full of dogs staffed by overworked and underpaid drones. Poor bastards. I slipped in the back after ditching my harness. I've got spares. Someone saw me though, but I turned up the puppy eyes and they let me right in.

All of which makes sense because, as I've learned, I was a conman. Like a grifter or something, so I guess that's why people like me so much, I'm just good at being friendly. Apparently my job was to steal magic stuff. Also makes sense considering the WEIRD SHIT I've seen since doing contracts. Anyway, back to the thing, I got into the shelter and did the whole song and dance, being well behaved and they didn't tie me down or put me in a cage. The weird thing is I saw a pug. Their name was otis, and they recognized me. Which was excellent. After some charades, (I didn't realize how annoying this is.) I figured they were smart like me, so I had to get us out of there.

Waiting for otis's yard time, I convinced the folks at the shelter to let me out too. When the attendant was scooping shit, I threw Otis over the fence. They noticed though so I had to scramble. We both escaped and I brought Otis, sorry Ollie home to Gary. That was tough to deal with, but Gary's busy this weekend and I kinda promised to babysit. Dogsit.

Anyway, Ollie knew me when I was human! Apparently he's my coworker! Some sort of magical fence or something, I worked for him. He says we were friends but he seems really mad so we're working on it. Had to chat through a tablet, so I need to get a gift to do the talking thing. I don't know why I didn't do this before. Gotta get ready for the next one.

My face hurts a lot. I should mention that. Because what I did was crazy and brave.

Getting home, I had to sort out some stuff. Otis was still on the street. Finding him was easy, just had to smell out pug and scared. He has both of those. I confronted him and let him know I wasn't messing around. He told me the truth. I was cursed by a god for a trick I pulled. I guess I earned it then. Fine, whatever. Later problem. Now problem? Getting Otis a place.

Otis has some money stashed away. A couple of safehouses around town that maybe we could get to if they aren't already compromised. We found the closest one and someone was squatting there. I was able to sneak in and find some of Otis's stash, bundle of cash that we could use. Nearly got caught by a beefcake with too few braincells though. Unfortunately, I later learned, someone burned him alive in the desert. So that's fun. I guess we're back in the big leagues and we have some dangerous people around. Risks like this need to be few and far between. It was worth it though.

I've set Otis up in a new safehouse, with plenty of dog friendly stuff. He's got a computer and can at least get started with whatever it is he does. Maybe if he starts getting money again, he'll be a little better off. Gotta be tough in his dumb little body, but at least he's got food and shelter.

I went back and explained everything to Gary. He took it well, so that's excellent. I've still got a place to live and some help besides. Some sort of service dog I am right? ANyway pain killers are kicking in. more later.

So on a job, I spent 14 hours jammed into the cargo section of a jetliner. Which was ASS. I was also next to a poorly secured Rattlesnake. I shit myself, it was a nightmare. I had to go on a flight back home on which I also shit myself. Yeah so if I'm going to keep doing these jobs without a free ride, I needed a solution on GETTING TO THEM. The harbingers have been pretty vague about if they are going to get me to these places, sooooooo problem.

I reached out to Otis, who's been able to at least get me a number for a transporter. Guy seems legit and they can work within budget. Good smuggler type, seems not to care about the cargo being the best dog there is. So I think I can make this work. New problem though, they cost a LOT of money, which is going to cut into my personal funds. Need to work on getting a score. A score? Seriously, I must have been deep in this conman stuff. I don't usually talk like this. Now that I can talk, that is. Well I guess that's a problem for another day. Get money. As a dog. I guess the contracts pay well in other ways. Maybe I can work something out.

I'm good with my hands. Paws. Whatever. When I'm working on things I can feel it. Like I was some sort of craftsman. I know how the bits go together, magically, physically. Stuff like that. Like my hands, paws, know what do to. Before all this I must have been clever. Clever enough to make things. Gadgets, doodads, talesma that did tricks.

Maybe that part, mixed with the rather dashing and handsome parts let me get away with stuff so easily. I think I should whip up some of these tricks to help on jobs. Goodness knows I could use the help. Some ideas:

Computer googles so I can text people.

A dog headset for voice commands to my phone and stuff.

smoke bombs (and a way to use them. Maybe a decoy spray I dunno)

Tracking darts! (again no hands. cmon think.)

Some sort of distress beacon so people can find me. (I'm not getting chipped.)