Zayir's Journal

MAILBOX - AGENT ZAYIR

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Welcome to Our Corp!

Letters Home - 1

How've you been, Aunt Eva?

I know you didn't want me taking that gig at L Corp, and I'm sorry for doing it anyway. I know I'm gonna get an earful from you about it, so spare yourself the trouble. Today was my first day on the job. Got lumped in with a bunch of other fresh blood, but I'm sure I'll be outperforming them in a snap. I've got more to tell you but I think it's better if we do that when we can speak in person. Let's just say, you were right, just like you always are - I'm REALLY gonna enjoy this new gig. Hell of a lot cushier than being a Fixer. I've got you to thank as usual, Aunty, I'd be dead meat already if not for you.

The freshies I'm working with are an interesting bunch. There's this dude who's bald and wrinkled but claims he's 20 (I don't buy that, not unless he's got some freaky aging condition, which I SERIOUSLY doubt) - I think his name's Bill? Then you've got this stuck-up little punk whose mouthing off is definitely gonna get him killed one day, and if it doesn't I might just have to take matters into my own hands. And oh, oh, man, there's this sunshine-and-rainbows kid who's probably one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I don't mean that as a compliment. He's going to fall off bad soon, I can smell it. I give him a week before he snaps in half and quits, or worse.

Send my regards to the kids. Feel free to scare the hell out of them with bedtime stories of the assorted horrors their ol' pal Zay is gonna be dealing with on the regular.

Thanks for everything. I'll write soon.

Downtime

Notes to Self - 1

Man, this gig really might be worth the hellfire that's gonna rain down on us if we fuck it up. This place is really nice - they've even got hot water in the bathrooms. I haven't had a shower that nice in forever, and I came out of there actually feeling pretty good for once. I could really get used to this, even if it means having to stick my neck out working with those freaky things all the time.

I figure it's the type of job that gets easier the longer you do it. No doubt I'm made of stronger stuff than all those other freshie schmucks - I give it a couple weeks before the last of 'em are on the first ride outta this place. That's not to say I would mind going back to Fixer work, but I'm just saying I'm more than capable of getting the hang of this.

Anyway, just like Fixer work, the golden rule seems to be the same here: do what you're told and try not to inconvenience the upper management, and that's how you'll succeed. Seems like the guy in charge of us knows the value of an employee who knows when to put up and shut up. I'll be the one bossing him around in no time.

For The Better

Letters Home - 2

Hey, Aunty.

I don't think I mentioned Cooper to you when I wrote home yesterday. He was this clerk who showed me and the other freshies around the facility when we first got there. Real nice kid. Anyway, the reason I'm mentioning him to you right now is cause the poor kid just kicked it. Got skewered right through the heart by one of those freaky monsters they've got locked up in here, and we had to bring the damn thing down with the kid just dead there in the corridor.

I'm pretty sure my fellow freshies think I'm a heartless freak. They're not wrong. Don't get me wrong, if I had the power to bring the kid back, I'd do it - but the thing these people need to learn is that sometimes, people die. Just a fact of life. Once someone's gone, they're gone, and it's a waste of time living with regrets about it.

Maybe I'm just desensitized to all of this. I guess that makes me a perfect fit for this job, huh? Like I told you - I'll be outperforming all these schmucks in a week's time.

Maybe I just don't get it, I don't get being sad. Nothing anybody can do about it. Nothing to do but put up and shut up. That philosophy never failed me before, so why would it now? Cooper wasn't the first to die here and God knows he won't be the last.

Ugh, I REALLY need a cig right now.

Downtime

Notes to Self - 2

It seems like I was right: longer you stick with this gig, more desensitized you become, easier it gets to do your job and do it well. Which is good news for my numb ass, so like I said - I'll be one of the top agents in this place in no time.

Not sure if the freshies I'm stuck with are going anywhere, though. I got to chat with one of 'em after that poor kid Cooper died. He was moppin' the floors, cleaning up all the carnage, and I stayed behind to see if I could pick his brain about the whole sitch for a little. And whaddya know? Looks like I'm not the only one who's gotten used to poor sons of bitches kicking it after they got in over their head. Maybe this guy's got what it takes to hold this job.

He definitely thinks I'm a total freak though. And somehow he knows about Aunt Eva - who knows what else this dude has on me? I wouldn't be surprised if he knew about my Fixer work. Wonder if he'll try and hold it over my head?

He just seems chill and honestly, pretty tired. Now that, I can sympathize with.

Rats, mice.

Letters Home - 3

Hey, Aunty. Yeah, I remembered to write, proud of me?

Hope everything is going well. I know I'm being an inconvenience and all by not being around to help you with Shi work and I'm sorry, but hey, at least you're gonna get my big fat L Corp paycheck at the end of these 50 days. Gotta say, I never thought I would miss the sound of bones breaking this much. But that doesn't matter. They've got hot showers and at least I don't need to worry about rent here. I just

 

Aunty, I think someone's been in my room. The first draft of the letter I was gonna send you wasn't where I left it. Someone's been snooping around in here, I just know it - good thing I didn't blab too much in there, but I don't like it one bit. I bet it was one of those tin cans they've got running this place. I hate the thought of being watched.. maybe I should set traps or something? But anyway, I got nothing I give a shit about hiding.

There's this Abnormality I've been workin' with, and today while I was in his cell, he spoke to me. Said he knew what I wanted - and what do you know? He gave me his pipe. I've been wanting one of those for a while, they're more practical than cigs. Anyway, we smoked together for a bit while I worked, and afterwards I got this absolute beaut of a rifle. She works like a dream, I'll tell you that.

I got to test her out pretty soon after, too. There were these guys from the Thumb who stormed the facility. Apparently, they got unfinished business with Bill, one of the freshies I've been working with. I can only imagine what he did to piss 'em off. Actually, I've got a pretty good idea. They're an easily offended bunch, after all.

Anyway, we brought them down fine. Well, we didn't technically do it, but they're dead, and that's what matters. Shame I didn't get the killshot though.

This letter's getting long. I'll end it here. Hope all's well back home.

 

 

Downtime

ADDRESSED TO: AGENT ZAYIR - 1

You actually wrote like you said you would. I must say, Zay, I'm impressed.

But you'll have to do more than that if you want to prove to me that letting you sign your life away to this job was a good idea, because frankly, I'm not convinced. Do you know how much work has piled up in the three days alone you've been gone? When that paycheck arrives, it had better be enough to make all this trouble worth it, or so help me, Zayir, I'll storm that facility and drag your sorry ass back home myself. From where I'm standing now, I'd much rather have a second pair of hands to deal with the shitstorm the higher-ups are raining down on us than a few extra digits in the bank.

But I read your letters. It's good to know you're doing well, if nothing else. You were always my good kid. All I'm saying is that you'll have to do better than good if you want to convince me that letting you jump ship from the Association and leave your poor aunt with all this work was worth it.

Don't forget who you owe all of this to, Zay. Everything I've done for you, I did out of the kindness of my heart. If it weren't for me, well.. you know what? Let's not think about that. But the fact remains that the least you could do is show some respect in return.

- Eva

The Humbling

Letters Home - 4

Hey, Aunt Eva.

Damn, do I have news for you. We had this training event where every agent in the facility got to beat the shit out of each other, and when it was my turn, those punks laughed at me. They thought I couldn't take it. Well, they weren't laughing at me anymore after I threw down with my department captain and knocked his ass flat. He didn't even get a solid hit on me, and this was the same guy who beat the crap out of those three Soldatos yesterday. You want me to be better than good, Aunty? I can do that. You'll see just how good at this I am, one way or another.

I'm not finished though. The most hilarious fucking thing happened once everyone was done with their sparring - the referee sent us up against this dude with a gauntlet. Supposedly it was meant to humble us. Well, it didn't work, cause you know what happened? One of the freaks I got lumped in with filled his mouth with Enkephalin and made out sloppy with him so all the Enk got in his mouth. It was fucking hilarious. The referee fuckin' puked.

Mormon (that's the freak's name) seems like a degenerate fucking weirdo - he kept trying to kick the lady he was sparring with in the gonads, and I'm pretty sure pulling that shit with a department captain violates some rule or something - but it was really funny, I'll give him that. I just don't want him anywhere around me, and I'm sure as fuck not eating anything he gives me. Jesus.

That's all for today. Night, Aunty.

 

Downtime

Notes to Self - 3

Aunty's pissed at me, fuck.

I really hate it when she gets like this. Fuck, maybe she's right, maybe joining L Corp was a bad idea. Maybe I should've just stuck with the Association. Selfish to fuck off to L Corp and leave her with the work piling up, I know what that asshole Thelma is up to, I shouldn't have just left her. Ugh. I don't know, I really don't. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I just.. can't stand the thought of Aunty pissed at me. I don't know. It just makes me feel weird. Like I've done something really wrong. And fuck, maybe I have, maybe she's gonna die just like those poor fuckers from South Section 3 and it'll be all my fault.

There's.. there's nothing I can do about it anymore, though. At the end of the day, Aunty's right - if I'm gonna run off to L Corp I better make it worth her while. I mean, I'd like to think I did a good job today. I totally kicked the shit out of Cap, heh.. serves those suckers right.

Overdue.

Letters Home - 5

How are things, Aunt Eva? The kids doing okay?

I hope you're having a better time of it than I am, at least. Can't catch a break in this godforsaken facility. Still, I do like the adrenaline rush when fighting these freaks.. reminds me of my Shi work. I hope you're not still pissed about me jumping ship.

We almost got killed about five separate times today. The first of those times was when one of my dumbass coworkers pulled a stunt that nearly had an agent with god-tier gear out for our blood. I screamed every cuss word I could think of at him but numbnuts wouldn't knock it off. What the hell is his problem? How has he lasted this long? At least it'll be entertaining to watch when he kicks it sooner or later. It's my.. fifth? day on the job now. I guess my other coworkers are fine. That Sobin kid and I split a bag of chips while watching that freak try not to get his ass kicked, and that no-name punk with the headphones didn't talk smack to me today, which means he's good in my books. But Bill... Well, I'll get to that in a sec.

There was this Abnormality I worked with, too. Der Schutz was its name, with the fancy dots over the 'U'. Seemed like it took a shine to me, too. Guess even the freaky eldritch abominations want me. But anyway. Most of today was actually just weeding out rats from the Thumb. There were way more than I expected. The grand total was somewhere around 90-ish, which is a lot even for them. Are there any Shi operatives here? No, scratch that, even if there were I don't think you'd tell me.

There's one thing that's really weighing on me, though. We fought this.. this bird. I know that sounds ridiculous, but that's what it was. A bird with a scale, delivering its judgment to Bill. It told him all kinds of shit. Said he was no better than the Thumb guys who hated him so much. That people died because of him. 

And Bill, he.. he went nuts. Totally lost his shit. Started trying to open the containment cells and free every freak they had in there. It was - I don't want to say scary, cause I don't get scared - but it was jarring, to say the least.

I can only imagine what that bird would think of me. I don't know whether or not I'd even give a shit.

 

Downtime

ADDRESSED TO: AGENT ZAYIR - 2

I'm glad to hear from you, Zayir.

You'll have to excuse me for not replying to your last letter. Thelma has been working us to the bone, as I told you the last time I wrote. I'm not surprised by anything you told me. In fact, I'd be disappointed if you didn't manage to dole out some good beatdowns when they sent you for that training program. All that training wasn't wasted on you, at least. Good job defeating your department captain. I agree also regarding what you said about your.. coworker, the one who.. mouth-fed his opponent Enkephalin. I do think it's best that you stay away from him, but I'd go so far as to warn you that even with the rest of your coworkers, you don't truly know them. You shouldn't be so quick to break bread with them either, but you know that, of course.

And goodness, Zay, I didn't think I'd have to tell you this, but don't get too comfortable with the Abnormalities. They are not your friends either, not your coworkers, not your superiors, no one. The longer this goes on, the more I begin to feel that allowing you to run off to L Corp was a mistake, and not just because - as I said - I'm being worked to death without you.

I read what you wrote about the.. judgment bird, and to be frank with you, I'm quite disappointed. I think you know better than to say such things. That coworker who went mad is nothing like you - you're different from him, aren't you? Stronger? I raised you better than to be so soft. Really, Zay, what does it matter to you what that bird thinks? One of the first things I taught you is that justice is a very idealistic thing. You know what it means to be truly fair, don't you?

Be safe. And try to think a little more about what you're doing in that place.

- Eva

Janitorial Work

Letters Home - 6

Hey, Aunt Eva.

We got a break day today. Everything went so fucking wrong. So many people died, Aunty. I'm.. you were probably right. I'm in way over my head and I never should've come here. I should've just listened to you. I'm sorry I didn't. I just Nothing really happened aside from us having to clean up all the bodies and blood from yesterday, which was gross, I guess, but I've done grosser things as a Shi Fixer. But yeah, today was uneventful, so you've got to excuse it if this letter isn't so long.

My department captain is a pretty stand-up guy, which is cool. I don't think I told you about him. His name's Miho and he's the guy whose ass I kicked at Gebura's training event. He might be kind of a pushover combat-wise but he must be doing something right if he's the captain of Control. I don't know why I'm trying to defend him. You'd probably hate him regardless. He looks out for his juniors. Not that I need it  but it's still a nice feeling . Gave me some words of wisdom, I guess you could say, about steering clear of some of the freakier Abnormalities in this place.

I don't know what else to put in this letter. Nothing really happened today. I'm doing fine, no need to worry about me. I don't know what got into me about that bird yesterday. Seriously, this place is going to give me a fucking fear of those feathered bastards, I swear. I hope the kids are okay. Please don't work yourself too hard - I know Thelma's a piece of shit so please try and take care of yourself as much as you can.

I might just be being paranoid, but I feel like someone's reading these letters. So just in case, be mindful of what you write to me, I guess?

Downtime

Notes to Self - 4

I don't know what the fuck that chef bastard thinks he's playing at, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, but clearly he hasn't had the full backstreets experience if he doesn't know by now to mind his own fucking business. Triggerlicking son of a bitch thinks he's got a right to meddle in my personal life, as if what I do and who I do it with is any fucking concern of his. He's lucky that Louis lady was around - if not, they'd already be mopping his brains off the fucking walls.

All the goto in the world couldn't get me to tolerate that bastard needling me about my fucking scars as if he's the fucking boss of me, as if I'm a fucking child who doesn't know what's what. Next time, he won't be so lucky. He fucks with me again and I'll kill him, populated ass department or not.

I was having a good fucking day until he decided he wanted to get up all in my shit. Cap isn't so bad, and Igoree and Ryn are actually kind of funny even if Ryn's a fucking prude.

I want that chef bastard far, far away from me.

All's Well.

Letters Home - 7

Been a bit since I wrote to you, Aunt Eva.

Sorry about that. Nothing much has been happening in the last couple days, but that changed pretty quick today. One of the really fucked up Abnos - this giant fish thing with a girl's head dangling from its tongue - got out and me and my coworkers had to go and deal with that shit. We brought it down fine, but there was.. something else. I don't know if I'm even allowed to talk about it to you, but fuck it, if that frigid bitch Angela's got a problem with me running my mouth, she can take it up with me herself.

There was this experiment they ran in the lower levels of the facility. This girl.. they injected something called Cogito into her, and it really fucked her up. She turned into this freaky pink pile of goop that only kind of looked like a girl anymore. And apparently, one of my coworkers - he knew the girl they did it to. He was in love with her, but she thought he was dead, so she ran off and joined L Corp. Tragic shit. He was real torn up about it, and honestly, I don't.. I don't blame him. That's the first little bit of sympathy I've felt for this asshole since meeting him. I don't know what I'd do if they did something like that to you. I'd probably react the same way.

I really hope you aren't still pissed at me, Aunty. I know it's stupid, I know Thelma's probably just piling on the work as always and that's why you're not writing to me, but I'm just worried. I hope Soleil and Silas are okay. Give them a big hug for me.

Downtime

ADDRESSED TO: AGENT ZAYIR - 3

Hello, Zayir.

I will be plain with you - I am extremely disappointed in your carelessness. I find it laughable that you of all people would caution me against divulging anything dangerous to you in these letters when this entire time, you have been running your mouth without a fear or a doubt of what it might bring upon my head. I find it laughable that you claim you care for me, that you would not know what to do if such a terrible fate befell me, when you seem entirely too happy to put me and the Association at risk with your zealous disregard for the consequences of your actions. I believed, at least a fraction, that you would have by now learned something, that you would know better - but it appears I was wrong.

Make no mistake, this hurts me more than it hurts you. I love you, I always have, and that is why I cannot allow this. There is no one, not your captain, not your coworkers, no one who understands you the way that I do, and there never will be. Allowing you to work at the Wing was a kindness, and I have given you no shortage of those in the past, but a line must be drawn, Zayir. You do not deserve the comforts you enjoy at L Corp, not when they come at a price like this. You do not deserve to live in relative peace while me and the Association - whom, I will remind you, you owe everything to - are battered by tragedy after tragedy. You do not deserve any of it, and if you had any shame at all, you would know that.

It is clear to me now that you haven't learned a thing, and I was a fool to think you had. I am exhausted with your selfishness. However, if you sincerely believe that your comfortable new life at a Wing is worth the certain death that awaits me and the rest of the Association, then so be it.

The choice is yours.

"What would you do?"

Letters Home - 8

Hey, Aunty.

I know you're pissed. I don't really have anything to say for myself other than I understand why you're mad, and you have the right to be, and I really am sorry. I won't do it again.

But I got promoted today, if you can believe it. All it took was a few of the clowns I work with fucking up astronomically, and what do you know, the manager realized how good I really am. I'm a Class V agent now, same rank as a few of my captains, and I think I'm doing well in the facility. I'm doing a good job as a Feather, proving my worth to the manager and all that jazz. I'll be better from now on, I promise. I'll be more careful, I'll do a good job, as good as I can. You were right about my coworkers, too - stupid, reckless sons of bitches, I don't even wanna talk about it. I promise I'll listen to you more from now on.

Funny how you never really realize how good you had it until it's gone. I'm sorry for taking you for granted and not listening to you and being selfish and everything you said. I promise I'll do better from now on, I know I can do it. I'll prove it to you too. I know you were only harsh on me because you love me. I love you too. I really am grateful for everything you and the Association have done for me and I promise I'll make it up to you if you just give me a chance.

Give the kids a hug for me.

 

Downtime

Notes to Self - 5

Okay so that was a fucking shitshow.

Those cunts Louis and Stormsoder have a lovers' quarrel over their issues, that's fine, that's all well and good, that's their business and I don't wanna stick my nose into it, I'm only there because Cap made me hunt those shitlords down for that meeting. But then one of those dykes runs off and gets possessed by that Abnormality that makes her go ax-crazy. You'd think people would be used to their damn coworkers kicking the bucket by now, but nope! Mormon and Bill decide it's a good idea to risk blowing up the entire fucking facility just to save that one girl. They didn't even fucking know her all that well.

Those two are fucking idiots and you know what? You ask me, a demotion wasn't enough. The manager should've just shot them dead the moment they started pulling that shit. Why bother with sending the Red Mist after them to dirty her EGO with their blood? He should've just blown their heads off on the spot. I should've just blown their heads off on the spot.

If there's one thing I can't fucking stand, it's these fake triggerlicking sons of bitches trying to act all altruistic and kind, pretending like they're doing any of this out of the goodness of their hearts. There are no truly selfless people. We're all pieces of shit. They at least ought to have the decency to own up to it.

At least I got to witness Tom shit himself over oily cheese.

Blue Smocked Slip Up

Letters Home - 9

Yo, Aunty.

Not.. a lot's happened since I got promoted, actually. I've been making some friends - or, well, friends with benefits is probably a better word for it - among my coworkers, I guess? I know you said not to trust anybody, and don't worry, I'm still keeping that in mind. They're just.. something to keep me entertained in the meantime. Sorry, I can't help being a slut any more than a bird can help the need to fly. If anything it's probably safer to whore around in here than it was in the Backstreets, 'cause I can just shoot up with a K Corp ampule and I don't gotta worry about contracting anything nasty.

Anyway, I didn't write this letter to run my mouth to you about my sex life. I've been doing pretty good, seriously. I'm impressing my captain and my superiors, and just in general I think my coworkers are starting to respect me more. I even managed to bring down three tough sons of bitches (with help - not that it matters) and bag myself some powerful EGO gear. I'm being careful, I'm learning, I'm getting better. I seriously think I've got the hang of this Feather stuff now, Aunty, and I swear I'll make you proud, I'll prove to you that you made the right choice letting me work here at L Corp.

I still don't really know what you meant when you said the Association was dealing with tragedies. Is it just more of Thelma's standard bullshit, or is it something more? Either way, just.. tell me how I can help, and I'll help you. I might be a Feather, but you'll always come first.

I hope you're doing alright, Aunty.

Downtime

Notes to Self - 6

There's something seriously fucking wrong with this Sobin kid.

Lucky for him, though, whatever's wrong with him is really, really funny. I know he's been treating this whole thing like a performance, but girl, I just thought he was autistic or something, I didn't realize how much he'd committed to the bit. Yeah, this is gonna sound weird and fucked up, but that makes him more trustworthy in my eyes, since all he's after is a good show. He's not pretending to be some savior or saint like Mormon or Bill, he's not trying to dress what he wants up in pretty words like that snake Gene. It is really, really refreshing to just have somebody who's honest about what he wants and the kinda guy he is. Even if he's a callous, selfish dickhead about it. But hey, who am I to talk? Not like I'm any better.

Man, I hope this kid sticks around.

Love Town

Letters Home - 10

Hey again, Aunt Eva.

Today's shift was different, if you can believe it. We had to work the late shift this time, which I actually didn't mind so much. The manager picked out our work assignments this time, which was.. not what I expected, but I'm sure as fuck not complaining because guess what? I got to work on that handsome devil I told you about a few letters ago! We smoked together again, which was really nice, a welcome break from the rest of the bullshit games the other freaks in this facility like to play. And what do you know? He really, really likes me. Says he respects my consistency. He said if I was ever in a pinch, I could come to him and ask him to gun something down for me. Like I told you, even the Abnormalities in this place can't resist my charms.

If only the rest of the work day went as well. The facility got overrun by these freaky pink things, just like that pile of goop I told you about before. Not that they were any match for me, of course, I brought down a horde of those fucking things on my own! Well, not quite on my own - my captain stepped in to help at the last minute. Not that I needed it, I could've dealt with them without help, but at least I'm impressing my superiors even more. The rest of the facility was just as much of a fucking warzone, it was nasty as hell, and even a couple other monsters broke out and started wrecking shop.

It gets even fucking crazier, though. Those pink things were an infection. They spread from employee to employee, contaminating them and just making more and more of those fucked up shambling piles of goo. So, well.. we had to cull the infected. They put us in a room with the infected, gave us 9 mils and.. you get the gist.

I did have fun though. All in all, a good day, and a good performance from me. I'm gonna be the best agent this Wing has ever seen.

Also, just as an aside.. could you tell Tenma I miss her? It's silly but I've been thinking of her lately. I hope she and the Director are okay.

Downtime

ADDRESSED TO: AGENT ZAYIR - 4, 5

I'm glad to hear from you, Zayir.

Excuse the slightly late reply. Our schedule has been tight, which certainly isn't helped by the fact that we have one less set of hands on deck, thanks to you. I'm very glad to hear that you're safe, although I am quite disappointed that you're running your mouth again. Please bear in mind what I told you about divulging sensitive information to me in your letters - you are directly endangering me and the Association, and I don't want to have to keep reminding you of this. You should know better by now. Don't make me warn you again.

Furthermore, don't get complacent. You may be doing well now, but we both know that you have a tendency to become careless once you're comfortable that things will go well for you. Keep your guard up. A Wing is no place to be careless and mess around, and it's certainly no place to be having fun. Please, for your own sake, try to handle all of this with a little more maturity and finesse. You were raised the way a Shi Fixer should be, and I expect you to hold yourself to those same standards even though you no longer work for our branch.

As for Tenma, she's doing well. She didn't have much to say to you. Her only advice was that you ought to remember how to hold your weapon properly. I can only assume she has more pressing things to attend to. I advise you against trying to contact her or the Director in the future. You'll only be distracting them.

Be safe.


-

Dear Zayir,

It's Tenma. I hope this message finds you well... or at all. 

Things have been rough over on our side, nothing's changed with the branch manager and we're still so tired out. I hope the wing at least has better schedules, breaks are becoming a fading dream to us...

If you do have breaks, I pray you're doing better than we are... I also hope you haven't forgotten the methods I taught you. I wasn't really the best at guns, but if you've ever been issued a sword, remember what we practiced.

I had to make this short, as the Director's been getting worse and worse by the day. Soon we'll barely have time to even chitchat among each other by the looks of it.

Make it out alive and well rested. By now that probably counts as a dream...

Sincerely, Tenma.

File your Complaint

Letters Home - 11

Hey, Aunt Eva.

I get it, I'll be more careful about the things I tell you. I'm really sorry if I've caused you and the Association any more trouble. It's all right though, there's not a lot to report anyway. Things have been mostly chill since I last wrote. I don't know if I told you, but lately I've been hanging around somebody who calls themself the Shepherd. They're the one whose gear I'm using. They honestly remind me a lot of you, which is really nice.. it feels like a little bit of home, you know? The weird thing is that everybody and their mama seems to think Sheph is bad news. I don't get it myself, I'm pretty sure they're all just being a load of weak-willed pussies.

And don't worry about me. I promise, I'm not gonna get complacent. The thing about this fuckin' facility is that it keeps you on your damn toes, if nothing else. There's always some new bullshit to deal with, and I might be a bit of a narc with his head up his own ass but I know I'm definitely not as seasoned as some of my coworkers. I'll get there soon, though - I'll earn the right to be complacent. (That's a joke.)

There is something I think you should know about though. Recently, they made us fill out background check forms. I think it should be fine, I didn't put anything sensitive in there, but I think it's best I tell you just in case. Ugh, I hate having to use my surname for anything.

Oh, and I don't know if you know, but as for Tenma, she actually wrote to me herself. I don't know if I'll have the time to write back, seeing as the job's working us a little hard lately, but it's really nice to hear from her. Are you guys sure things back with the Association are okay? Please don't feel like you've gotta lie to me.. I know I shouldn't have left. I'm really sorry. Just say the word and I'll help however I can, I swear.

Oh, and.. thanks for talking to Tenma for me. I'm glad she's hanging in there.

Love you. Stay safe.

Downtime

Letters Home (SCRAPPED, UNSENT)

Hey, cunt

Hi, Tenten!!

Yo girl

Hey, I'm really, really happy to hear from you.

It sounds like things are going to total shit over there. Fuck Thelma, as usual, and tell the Director to hang in there for me.. god, compared to what's going on with you guys, L Corp sounds like heaven. I wish I could've taken you and Aunty with me.

It's chill here compared to Fixer work. We get regular breaks, a good amount of sleep, they've got all these tech gizmos to keep us in tip-top shape.. hell one of my coworkers has even set up a gourmet kitchen. Not that I'd advise eating anything from it, but still.

God, that sounds like I'm flexing. I'm so sorry.

Aunty told me things were rough over there, but I didn't realize just how bad it was. Ugh, I shouldn't have left.. I kind of feel like shit, staying dry and cushy under a Wing while you guys deal with all of that. I'll make it out alive, whatever it takes. I'll come back to you guys and I'll help you, I promise.

Fuck, why did I write this? Now I just feel guilty as shit.

Sorry, Tenma.

 

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