I don't know.  Things are better.  The scientists are like... afraid of me.  Even Dr. Scott.  He hasn't touched me since Rose....  told them to be nice.

And I mean, they gave me a bunch of stuff, and they're nicer, but... they're only a little nicer to the others.  Like, they still hurt Kel.  And I think Dr. Scott is even meaner to her now.  And I can't really do anything.I think he hurts her just to get at me.  And I want to hurt him.  But I can't, I can't even leave.

I stole another thing from their lab.  And I saw them use it, and... and I used it on myself.  I'm  faster, now. My muscles ache.  I'm quieter.  I have a little.. pouch, sorta?  I can put things in it and hide them in my fur and everything.  It steals up.  So yeah.... I've been practising with the stuff I steal.

Things have just been slowly getting worse again.  They're forgetting.  They're starting to take things away from me, and.. I don't know.  Everyone is starting to get on edge.  Kel is afraid, and I wish I could hug her.  My hackles are raised, and things are wrong.  Everyone knows it.  People are talking.  Even the guards are a bit stressed, I can tell.  They get more violent when they're stressed. 

I.. I think it's happening to the scientists too, I don't know what to think of it. I'm scared.

I stole a weapon from one of the labs and I'm keeping it close just in case I need to protect myself.  What else can I do?  It's not like I can escape.  And even if I did they'd just use my collar to kill me... and even if they didn't, there's just endless forest around.   There's nowhere to go.

There's something happening there's gunshots and screaming downstairs. 

I think I'm still alive.  I'm.. not entirely sure.

Maybe this is all a hallucination still.  First it was the dreams. Then it was the visions. Now it's everything. I no longer have any idea what is real, and what is not. I think it will pass.  In one way or another.  The diagrams were right.  I think.  But everything is... I don't know.  My thoughts aren't stable.  They'll stabilize, or I'll die.  I know that implicitly. 

Mel comes into my room sometimes.  He brings me soup, and a cold rag.  I think.  Maybe I'm imagining that too. 

[The pages are stained with drops of sweat.]

I shouldn't be writing.  I should try to be sleeping.  But I'm worried if I just sleep I'll slip away entirely.  I'm struggling to not.  I'll make it though.

[The next page has a much more steady paw.  It has only a few words on it.]

I made it though to the other side.