After what happened last job, I wasn't really able to survive by myself. I didn't know how to get home, or how to get food. Thankfully, Pal is just as much a hero as Moonstone, it seems. He took me back to his place, and kept me alive. Through his own blood, when I asked. Well, when I mimed biting until he got the message, anyway. Even with knowing what makes him tick from invading his mental privacy when we met, I still kept expecting he'd turn on me. He just... didn't. Even paid for someone to fix me. I have no idea who, since he introduced himself before I could understand, and I was too confused to ask after. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to fully trust him... Is it him that's broken for being this way? Or is it me, for not believing in him?

Pal was right. I didn't realize until he talked about it, but... I do feel so wrong. At first it was exhilarating. The feeling of having someone sever a tendon in my leg, and knowing that it wouldn't stop me from doing what needed to be done. But now... Well. It's sort of hitting me. If I can barely feel that as pain, can I feel anything else? Am I truly relegated to only feeling things that are stolen from others, now? Is this it, for the rest of time? Until someone has enough of me and, what, stakes me through the heart? Or is the mythos just that. What if vampires don't really live forever? How long will it take for me to know for sure? Even better, how do I know if I can be killed? My silver jewelry has been giving me a rash, so I know that much at least must be true. But will I truly come back if someone doesn't kill me right?

I guess, doing this job, that I'll find out sooner rather than later.

They say "Practice makes Permanent", but I think in my case it really does make perfect. I've been working on the customers at the bar, on getting what I need from them without having to make them say it. After my meeting with Moonstone, misunderstanding as it was, I need to make sure I can do what I need to do without drawing any undue attention.

And it seems to be working. I have to concentrate a lot more, and I'm not really able to do the easy version anymore, but it's definitely worth it. I can sate myself much more deeply than before, directly from their minds. It's thrilling. Of course most of what I get is just horny guys and girls trying to figure out if they can get with me somehow, or one of the other patrons around them. Now that I've figured it out, though, I need to do this to another contractor. Maybe I can ask Moonstone how it feels?

Don't be stupid. They don't want you in there.