been a while since I've done a journal, never really seen a need for it to be honest, but i read online that writing down your thoughts is a good way to "help oneself realize their problems" so here i am (on top of Alex being insistent about it, something about not wanting to be the only one who does it? i dont get her sometimes).

anyways, today i decided to go out of my usual routine, seen a few friends play a game called "deep divers" and i saw it in recommended, was pretty interesting, but the team of randos i got set up with was definitely more interesting.

the first was a tiny chipmunk named maze (when i saw them, i was very much tempted to mess with the little guy by pretending to be a monster, but i decided against it, cooperative games arent the place for that, might do it if we ever meet elsewhere though) they didnt bring a weapon (fair, i only keep mine on me cause im proud of how it looks, even if it failed me today, but thats for later) and got a knife from the in game shop run by a rather cute robot (note to self, make robo-buddy), they ended up being carried back to the exit at the end by the next party member.

next is an interesting one, a guy in a knight avatar, he didnt introduce himself and i didnt see a nametag, but he did smell of ash so thats what ill call him. ash has an interesting build, a full tank, his armor stat with both of his shields must be in the 8/10 range, im betting on 9 personally. he didnt say a word the entire time, only using the text chat, but he was good at what he did. most of the time, hed just jump right into the fray, keeping the attention on himself (based) and squishing anything that got too close, guy was rather cool, actually.

lastly, we had a lanky guy in power armor, guy was effective, but uh, he kind of fumbled on occasion? like, i keep medical kits on me in case i end up in a bad spot, and he ended up using all of them! (not to self, double medical kits) but uh, cant really blame him, hes obviously a wizard type, powerful but squishy... and the rest of the party may have out ran him, meaning all the bugs in that finale chase focused on him, so its not entirely his fault? anyways, the other two seemed to know him or something? maze and him had a mutual friend, apparently? and Ash just responded with suspicion, same way someone whose seen something that shouldn't be, a sort of "this isnt right" suspicion, is the guy supposed to be banned or something? no clue, but i dont really care enough to look into the guy, problly the last ill see of him to be honest.

anyways, onto my cannon, the damn thing needs tweaking, it seems that i made the projectiles too slow, or to have too high of a spread, or something cause i missed most of my shots in there, ive got a lot of work to do on the damn thing, it would probably be better to just fire two cannon balls at once than do grapeshot...actually...

note to self, make a weapon thats six grapeshot cannons strapped together, call it the broadside.

...god damnit brain, note to self, figure out how to turn cannon into a revolver.

im going to sign off before i go on a tangent and fill the rest of this new notebook

8/1/XXXX

did some work on the cannon, shifted some code around what not. turns out, i had fucked up and fat fingered the stats and didnt notice, so i boosted the hit-rate stat as much as i could while staying in budget. testing shows that it seems to be much better, but im not sure if ill run into bad luck and have another string of misses like last time.

speaking of, i think ill modify my routine, hanging out with known buddies is good, but it seems that meeting new people might be good for me? Alex thinks so at least, said i was "more colorful" last we spoke (what the fuck does that even mean? i asked her and she just laughed and said "dont worry about it") so i think ill keep doing this stuff, i had fun after all.

Sebastian, signing off (is this how im going to end it every time? seems fine i guess)
8/2/xxxx

im a dumbass, forgot to mention that i worked on my avatar, now ive got an extra pair of arms, like the smaller auto-manipulators on my salvager suit, except...more intuitive? honestly they feel extremely natural...like ive always had em.

anyways, oddities with neural compatibility aside, theyve been very helpful the short time ive had em, very useful for doing multiple things at once.

hm, might get a set for everyday use, hell, i might give into Alex's insistence and get a proper full conversion and make a frame like my avatar in genis, that would be funny, im just imagining coming up next to one of the fishing boats that cross over the area above my little haven down here and spooking em.

might even get them to stop passing overhead, what with them being superstitious.

hopfully, i havent forgotten anything else, Sebastian signing off, again.
8/2/xxxx

went ahead with that war cog idea, took a lot of data budget, but i got it working, even managed to get auto cannons looking like black power cannons, that way i can just keep firing, should have enough space to fit quite a bit? at least the typical 3/5 most games here in neo genis sets teams up in, its even collapsible for storage and shit! the funy thing too, is that with the "load" modifier it game me more data budget, dont know how it works but ill take it.

alex has been busy lately, her work must be needing her expertise a lot, a trio major in chemistry, biology, and programing (still not sure how she did it, doesnt chage how proud i am of her) must be useful for whatever she's working on, she said she couldnt tell me anything right now though, but thats fine, we both work with or around classified shit, even if im just dredging it up and shes cooking it up, i still understand how it is.

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

Kill me, Kill me now, please, just do it

I have seen hell, this was worse

so

I'm

better?

hopefully, at least

today was...

...painfull

im keeping the previous page of... maddened scrawl, alex said it wouldnt help to get rid of it

speaking of, after...that

i called alex, i was... well, i had issues to put it simple.

we talked it out, but i think i might have nightmares for a while after that.

i worry for the minds of those younger than me, though i doubt what i saw was the average, it must have been a concentrated mass, so it should be fine?

god i hope it is

alex and i had some fun playing some random co-op game she found, was nice, just hanging out with her again.

shes been busy a lot lately, something about a project C9? she couldnt tell me, "you'd likely enjoy the fruits of my labor" she said when i asked "cause guess what? when its done, if you're willing, you can be the first to try it!"

she didnt elaborate, spoiling the surprise and it being classified she said

no clue what shes up to, but shes usually right when she thinks ill like something, though i am concerned for her, she looked tired.

she was proud when she spoke of it though, so its probbly her overworking herself as usual when shes working on a project, i told her to slow down, if not for her than for me

she promised she would, but im worried for her

> BOOT UP
ID: S-55
PASS: QUEEN

/-/ Awoken

     "Good, nice to see the old thing still works."

> SUBJECT Z-13 STATUS

     "I still find it funny he doesn't know we work for the same company. giggles"

/-/ Affirmative

mental: Tired, slightly drained

physical: Nominal

    "ah, yeah, he did have a run-in with project R3... sorry Seby, you weren't supposed to see that... note to self, figure out a way to keep projects and subjects from interacting, at least the ones that could negatively affect the results of the affected..."

> PROJECT C9 STATUS

/-/ Affirmative

growth: 89%

I-Rate estimation: 93%

cortex compatibility with subject Z-13: 100% ± 5%

estimated time until ready for implantation: 3 weeks

     "ah, nice. I know you'll like this one Seby, I made it all for you."

> SITE 13 STATUS

/-/ Affirmative

Submarine Dock: Complete

Oxygen Farm: Complete

Z-13 Habitation Section: Complete

Storage Section: 72%

Human Habitation Section: 94%

     "ah good, almost done, he'll like the architecture, I hope he does at least."

> SHUT DOWN

/-/ Affirmative

May your reach match your gaze, Doctor.