I'm learning to expose it more.  Or at least, in a more controlled way!

It just.. it wants to come out, really.  And it's a force of good.  Of life, of healing.  And If I focus a bit,if I guide it... it can heal people.

It was pretty badly injured after the fight, and so were all of my teammates.  One of them had a broken back.

And I healed it all!

Or at least, the Light did.

And it was amazing.  Glorious.

The light came out, and it knitted bone and flesh and blood, putting them back together.  And with that, everything got better.

And also, it means I know how to help people.  But it's also exhausting, so... I need to make sure I don't burn myself out doing it, right? 

What else can I do?

I don't know.   I do know I have to keep going, though.  Keep trying to save people.  And make the world better.

I mean, what else is there to say? 

It's been a pretty normal month, and that means there's never enough sleep.  The foodbank is doing well, and I'm doing a fundraising drive for it next weekend, too.  I'm practising my guitar a little some, too.  Maybe I'm going to join a band at school!  I'm not good at it, but it's fun!  And I'm making more friends at it, and that's always a good thing!

I've been doing my best to keep the darkness back around my neighbourhood, and... well, I think that's working some.  Everyone seems happier, and everything just seems a little brighter.  No broken windows, either.  That's important! Everyone has to take pride in their life, and.. well, I think we're doing okay with that.

Everything is going to be okay.

But sometimes, it needs a little bit of help to get there.  And I can give that. 

I hope.

It's funny, really.  What doing these quests for my Queen clarifies.   And what it confuses.

I've been thinking about what I've been focusing on since it all started. It feels like only yesterday, but I guess it's already been a few months.  And what I've found is violence tends to not be the right answer.  Talking to people works, typically.  Making them feel heard, making them feel wanted.  That obviously wouldn't work on the last contract, but... well, I think every time there's other people better at violence than me.  But they're no good at talking.  So that's what I've been practising.  I've always been good at it - it comes naturally to me - but I've been working on it more.  Someone told me I have a radiant light.  I like that.  That it can blind people in a pinch.  Well.  I hope it doesn't come to that, but I like that too.

It's been a pretty lazy month, really.  I  guess I lost the lost contract, which... well, I don't know. I kinda consider surviving a win in that case, I guess.  But past that, I guess it was a loss, even if I'm not even sure what I was supposed to do to win. 

I've just been kind of doing my routines, going to the soup kitchen, helping at the afterschool clubs.  I haven't had a lot of time to do training or anything like that, so... I've just been going along. I still go out to try to fight the darkness at night sometimes, but.. it's been hard with the injuries I got last time.  I guess that's another reason I've been taking it.. relatively easy.  I lost a lot of blood on the last one, and.. well, I'm already pretty pale, but I know it was bad when my friend started joking about me being a vampire.

Well.. at least this time I didn't get very injured.  Even if I didn't win again.  Just more failure.  A little demoralizing, but I'm trying to do my best to not let it get me down.  Even if I didn't.. I don't know, make the world any better on the last few missions.  On my first few, I was making the world better every time.  The last two.. not so much.  But I don't know.   I hope the next one will be.  I really do.  Otherwise... I don't know. Why else am I doing these?  I can fight the darkness in my back yard, make the city better without going out to be a plaything for the darkness. 

What I've been working on?  Performance.  Acting. Talking.  I'm already good at talking with people one on one, so... I've been practising crowds. You know, controlling people at the food kitchen more.