It’s been a month since New York, and I’ve had a lot to think about. I’ve always known that vengeance is a satisfying thing—there’s something almost primal in getting even, in settling the score. But it’s starting to sink in that living like that might not be the smartest long-term strategy. As much as I hate to admit it, carrying around all that resentment isn’t doing me any favors. It’s like carrying an anchor around your neck and wondering why you’re sinking.

I’ve never been good at dealing with my own emotions. I prefer to shove them down, file them away, and get on with whatever’s in front of me. But the truth is, that’s probably what’s holding me back more than anything else. My mind, my feelings—they’re the weakest part of me, and I can’t afford to keep pretending they aren’t there.

So, I’ve decided to start working on that. No more feeding the fires of resentment just because it feels good in the moment. No more letting my emotions drive my decisions, especially when I know better. It won’t be easy—I’m not exactly built for emotional stability—but if I want to keep moving forward, I’ll have to start putting in the work. One day at a time, right?

I guess this is what they call growth. Or at least, an attempt at it.

The last contract was, without a doubt, one of the more productive ones. A hefty haul of trinkets, baubles, and curiosities—enough to keep me busy for a good while. I’ve been cataloging everything, studying each piece to figure out which has power and which is just a pretty object. Greece didn’t disappoint.

But the real work wasn’t in the items we brought back. It was in sharpening myself. The rituals and incantations of the Blackstar Sisterhood aren’t about brute force or even intellect. They demand a very specific kind of perception, the ability to see the world through layers, to align sigils with hairsplitting precision. Silence is key, and that kind of conjuration doesn’t come easily.

I’ve spent the last 30 days pressing my practice. Trial and error, mostly. Headaches aplenty, nursed with wine and a healthy dose of cynicism. But it paid off. I’ve reached the limit of what I can achieve through sheer awareness, without dipping into full-on magical intervention. Feels like I’ve peeled back another layer of the world, but it’s also exhausting. Still, it’s progress.