There were a lot of things left over from the little excursion, and I think I've known for a while now that there's no way my head could've conjured all these new faces. 

A pamphlet, a tooth, a link to a podcast, and even a picture of a three foot tall chipmunk on my phone---in a way I'm relieved that it was all real because I had so much fun there. I didn't wake up with any desolate realization that it could never have happened. It wasn't a foreboding message from the gods above, and I can have a new power now. 

I just need to find out how this all happened.

So, when the internet came up blank, I went to the library and started reading up on video games and records of dreamlike experiences. It hasn't gotten me very far yet but at least I'm getting better at researching and filtering out irrelevant material. A chemist friend of mine always stressed how important it was to at least know a little more about science if I want to know how the world works.

Not that it seems the area I looked into was relevant at all. If anything, turning to mythology and the occult might be a better idea next time. 

[also a glitch]

January.

It's the midst of winter, the coldest time of the year, and I hadn't even noticed that Christmas had gone by. Time isn't something I pay much attention to when all my days have just consisted of one singular routine. It gets boring, which is why I've always dabbled in a number of hobbies, but what happens in the downtime between all of that? I don't want to constantly barrage myself with the same things over and over again; it would be sad if I stopped enjoying TTRPGs because I played too often. Not to mention other people actually depend on each individual paycheck to survive. They don't have my luxury of taking time off to do whatever I wanted, whenever.

So, I wanted to go camping. 

It's not because of what happened in Russia; if anything it has deterred me further. I still find myself shivering when I'm out at night sometimes. This is in central Miami, so of course I've gotten a few weird looks. I'd rather stay in the relatively familiar safety here, but taking sick leave to heal from my wounds has given me too much time. I might just go insane if I get stuck here for too long. 

Getting a text from Delphyrion was the perfect excuse to get out of Miami as well; their birthday is coming up, and they wanted to see me for once. They were surprised upon hearing about my plans, perhaps even a little hesitant, but we eventually agreed on a state park in between our cities.

We met up in one of the more recognizable campsites before hiking further into the Kissimmee Prairie Preserve State Park. Throughout the hike we struggled to catch up on each other's lives, only to be interrupted when Delphyrion saw a mushroom and stopped in their tracks. I don't know where they got the plunger from or why they felt the need to bring one to a camping trip, and I don't know why they felt the need to point it threateningly at the mushrooms, but soon they just sighed, grabbed my arm, and continued our hike. I tried to joke about the mushrooms being total fun-guys, which earned a small huff and a slight smile. 

Before sundown, we set up camp in a clearing. We weren't great at it, but Delphyrion had gone camping before so we were relatively successful nonetheless. The tents stayed up, and we had enough food. We had both forgotten to bring lighters, so I started a campfire with some sticks and a log. They asked why I knew how to do that out of everything else, but I simply shrugged. 

Camping together took a lot of teamwork and communication. The air between us was tense nonetheless, and I'm sure they shared the same sentiment from the way their brows furrowed whenever our eyes met. Where’s the light in their eyes? I also noticed that Delphyrion looked pale. It wasn't the natural paleness that comes from staying inside all day, nor did it look healthy for him. Did I want to ask? Of course. Was it right to? I doubt it. Not here, not now, when he wouldn’t have anywhere to run off to if he felt uncomfortable.

It was only after we've set anything up that we sat down in pensive silence. That was smart of us; if we started talking the moment we saw each other, we wouldn't have had anywhere to sleep once the sky darkened. That is, assuming we’d even talk. I get the impression they’ve forgotten how to interact with an actual human. Most other science YouTubers I’ve watched would collaborate with each other, but Delphyrion’s never been one to ask for help in their research. Or for anything at all. In the past I thought they confided in me, but really, how much were they hiding underneath that facade? It scares me that we have become so similar. Am I sure that they haven’t always been like this?

“You’ve been posting videos,” I said at last, and I abhorred the small-talkish nature of my statement. 

“Yep,” they responded, arms resting on their knees as they stared up at the sky. It’s orange now, fading into a deep purple. 

“Your descriptions are improving.” I tried to sound happy. Like a proud mother. What’s that supposed to be like? Delphyrion would probably know. They’d have pointed out my tone if they were in their right mind. That I’m talking strangely. They wouldn’t understand that it’s because I’m genuinely worried. I would’ve gotten annoyed at that. They would’ve acknowledged their insensitivity.

“Mhm.” They’d normally gloat about it. They’d normally revel in the praise. Sometimes I wonder if the people around me have been replaced by skinwalkers. 

“I’m sure you’ll be more popular someday.” No reply. I grasped at the grass beneath my feet. They snapped so easily. “Remember when you tried to steal Celeste’s keychain, but ended up grabbing a bag of coffee grounds instead?”

“Yeah,” they were almost breathless and when I looked over, they had curled their head into their knees. What am I to do here? They’re normally the one to initiate conversations, especially if they’re about to vent. But they’re not. 

I stop talking and look back up at the sky. It has almost become an inky blue now, the first stars appearing at last. Can I make a wish here? I wish it was easier to talk to my friend. Was there a Greek deity for friendship, or was it just Twilight Sparkle?

“I just… don’t know.” I looked at them again. That didn’t sound like something they’d admit. “I’m sorry.” 

When I wanted a talk, I didn’t mean a self-loathing party. What if I lightened the mood? “You do silly things all the time, why apologize now?” Delphyrion tensed. It wasn’t the right thing to say - I don’t know what I could do, then. In the corner of my eye I saw a strange keychain attached to their bag. It looked like a cube, but it also shifted before my eyes and I can’t actually describe what it’s supposed to be. Is it a thing, or just a concept? Eventually I chose not to question it. It wasn’t the main point of focus at that moment. I’m sure they’d tell me if they wanted to. But it also felt like this might be the only chance I could get to know anything at all, and it isn’t healthy for me to be thinking about all the things I could’ve asked in the middle of my next contract. So I repeated, “Why are you apologizing to me?”

Delphyrion looked at me. They appeared almost afraid. Almost. I didn’t know they could be. At this point I don’t know them at all. We’re close friends, but it’s only because there’s nobody else whether by choice or from fear.

In the midst of pained breaths, I heard a faint buzzing by my ear. I closed my eyes and held my breath; it’s an old habit from my childhood, because I’ve never been good around bugs. But upon hearing several clicks that I’ve become quite frighteningly familiar with, I opened my eyes and leaped aside before the BANG echoed through the trees and scared dozens of crows out of their nests. 

[Delphyrion rolled Dexterity + Firearms at difficulty 6. Outcome: 3.] 

[Cassiopeia rolled Dexterity + Athletics to dodge. Outcome: 5.]

This was more than fear; Delphyrion’s eyes had too much life in them now and it took all of me to shake myself out of the shock. My ears rang and screamed as I reminded myself multiple times that this guy was just a sleep-deprived scientist, not a paranoid old man with little left to lose, not a hired assassin, just Delphyrion, who had one day stepped into the cafe during my shift and passed out almost immediately from exhaustion. It was closing time by then but I stayed, knowing I would’ve wanted someone to do that for me. 

Praying to whichever god could hear me, I tackled them to the ground and wrestled their shotgun out of their grip. I yelled but I could barely hear myself. They writhed underneath, face scrunching, yelling things back as tears welled in their eyes. They tried to blink it back so I cupped their cheeks in my palms. I think I said, “Look at me. Look. At. Me.” I hoped they heard me.

And they did. Their eyes twitched and flinched occasionally, as if expecting the worst to happen. 

And since they expected the worst, I slapped them.

Then they laid there.

They sobbed.

Slowly my hearing came back to me, and I slowly stood up, clutching the shotgun in my arms. I fumbled trying to unload it, ammo falling to the ground in quiet thumps that were washed out by the pained voice. I sat down nearby, holding the weapon for dear life. I doubted it’d happen but if they tried anything, this was my best bet.

Delphyrion grabbed at their own hair and covered their eyes. They were shaking as if they had been stuck in the middle of a blizzard for hours. Choking on their own breath, they coughed and started clawing at their shirt. I saw a gunshot scar there, below their collarbone. I would know; I’ve seen far too many people get shot. 

“Can’t… breathe,” they wheezed out between short gasps, so I put the gun down and grabbed onto their hands before they could scratch their scar open. They didn’t teach this in school. Was I supposed to ask first? Would he even hear me?

“Delphyrion,” I said, quietly. “Delphyrion.”

They looked at me. They were terrified. They were trying to say something. Their voice couldn’t come out. All they could do was mouth over and over again, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’

“I’m here, I forgive you,” I tried to tell them, but of course that wouldn’t calm them down. I don’t know what I’m forgiving them for. “Count to 100 with me. Or tell me five things you can see. What do you want to do?” It’s not perfect but at least I can do this much. To my relief they started to relax after a few minutes of these exercises. They closed their eyes and sighed.

I laid down nearby, grasping the shotgun in one hand. The campfire we made had died down, crackling its last few embers before the orange glow faded away. By now the sky was pitch black, stars twinkling countlessly in the breeze. Long ago, when the romantic side of me ran free, I would always look up and think about all the places I could go with the person I loved. Stargazing was at the top of that list, besides reading in a room lit by a warm fireplace, and dancing quietly in our own home. Nowadays I’m much quieter about these ideas, considering how little I think about relationships at all. This is better; I don’t need to think about keeping any flames alive.  

I wonder if the park rangers are going to find us. I’ve spoken with one before, and they weren’t too friendly. Wouldn’t even escort a lone lady back to the campsite. To be fair they were looking for something and I was hiding that ‘something’, so even though I was able to fool them, they wouldn’t waste their time. They probably wouldn’t be forgiving here either, seeing as Delphyrion shot so carelessly. I wonder if the bullet hit someone. I think we would’ve seen it; I don’t think shotguns would be as powerful. Thankfully Delphyrion didn’t bring their rifle instead. 

“The air is clearer during winters because there’s less moisture in the cold.” Delphyrion’s voice sliced through my thoughts. Until I remembered where I was and who was beside me, I thought I was watching one of their videos. Sometimes I put those on in the background, but I wouldn’t tell them that. “This isn’t the best country to stargaze in, though. Far warmer than it would be in Canada.”

“Or in Russia,” I added, and they turned their head towards me. 

“You’ve been to Russia?”

“It’s just a hypothetical. Have you gone to Canada before?”

“I… have.” He’s quieter now.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Of course not. If anything, it might be better there, considering…”

I blinked, trying to think of reasons why they would consider… ah. “Same, but you can’t have a gun there.”

“I’ve done worse.” 

“Tell me about it.”

“Couldn’t have such successful experiments without the money and supplies.” They’re speaking slowly, carefully, threading their words in ways that I thought only I would’ve done. They didn’t do this before. They would let things slip so easily. I swear they’ve learnt this from me and I hate that. It’s like someone stole something from me. Do they even notice how wary they sound?

“I… understand.” I would never ask where they get their money from. People have done that to me too often, and I get the sense that I wouldn’t want to know anyway. “So… did you actually try to shoot a bee?”

“It was a mosquito.” I didn’t speak. “Well, it’s not buzzing around you anymore, is it?”

“No.”

“I’ll assume I killed it.”

“Now I’m concerned for different reasons.” We laughed. For a moment the weight was lifted and everything seemed fine. I knew better. “Why a mosquito, though?”

“It… was going to bite you.” I found a weird amount of venom in their voice. This was just a bug. Even then, I also heard very much uncertainty with the way their tone raised at the end. They can’t even convince themselves.

“So you shot it.”

“I know this sounds insane, but…” Delphyrion stopped. There was shuffling. “I thought you’d interrupt me.”

“Oh, no, believe me, I was. But I was also very intrigued.”

“Huh.”

“I guess you really hate mosquitoes.”

“And bugs in general.” Did a bug ruin a long experiment of theirs? “I don’t actually have anything to defend myself.” 

“Because I took your shotgun?”

“That too.” In the wind, cool blades of grass brushed against my skin. There was a brief lull in the conversation as I thought about what I could say next. Thankfully, Delphyrion did that for me this time. “Y’know when you asked about my sleep?”

“Mm.” I closed my eyes.

Delphyrion took a deep breath. “I lied,” they said, and I looked at them. Their eyes were red, but at least they finally showed some emotion. “It’s not that I didn’t want to sleep - I couldn’t. …Working was so much easier.”

“You’d always find answers in your work.” Delphyrion hummed. “Wouldn’t you get stuck? My brain never works properly after an all-nighter.”

“I don’t know… I don’t remember most of it. Is that weird?”

“I guess I can relate.” It’s like that whenever I use the mask. The words I say align with my intent, but I never have to think about them, or the exact content of each prophecy the mask comes up with. “It’s like… a really long dream.”

“I’ve had a lot of weird dreams.”

“Would you tell me about them?”

Delphyrion averts their gaze. “I… can’t.” I couldn’t tell them about mine either.

“Okay.”

“But… this is just a hypothetical too, but… what if someone near you died?” My hand tightened around the shotgun. They must’ve seen my expression because they quickly changed their question to, “What did you do when your parents died?”

Normally Delphyrion’s the kind of person who doesn’t like to think about that stuff. I don’t know what has brought this on, and if it were anyone else I’d just brush them off, but this isn’t just anyone else, nor does it look like human curiosity, from the way their brows furrowed and their eyes stared unblinkingly. They looked almost desperate to know, and not because they wanted to know about me. They were lost, and for some reason my answer would pave a path for them. “I cried.” There’s still a part of me that refuses to tell the full truth, so all I can do is summarize it until it's... palatable. I try to tell myself it isn’t because I distrust Delphyrion. “I wished they’d come back. I wished things would be different. And even though I stopped doing that, it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped hurting just as much. It never really goes away. I couldn't do much about that.”

“Do you ever think about all the ways you could’ve stopped it?”

“The deaths? Of course.” I turned away. My eyes stung from the cold breeze, that’s all. “But I couldn’t have, it’s all in the past now. I told myself I had to stop dwelling on things I couldn’t control.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“If you believed in magic and gods, then surely you’d believe that you could achieve the impossible.”

“I believe in it as a way to tell myself that most things happen because an outer force has willed it to be so.”

“And I believe that it isn’t all-seeing, that I could circumvent it if I tried hard enough.”

I smiled. “Glad to hear you haven’t changed your mind.”

“A few months of bad sleep can’t defeat a Mad Scientist.”

“Happy birthday, Delphyrion.”

So there we were, laying in a clearing beneath a starry sky, surrounded by darkness and the occasional song of the forest. 

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Thank you.”

On another note... I can finally remember my dreams again. It's been four months; I used to be so good at it, keeping a dream journal each night, all the way from the time I started studying Psychology.

I can remember Siopilós, the silent figure whose existence escaped my recollection each time I woke up. At first they were wearing the Witherheart Mask. Their appearance reminds me of... a strange summer I had right after highschool graduation.

In the most recent dream, they took the mask and dropped it to the floor, crushing it under their heel. It hissed and sparked in whisps of green, then it all went out in a pathetic huff. They're smiling but their face is still ever shifting, as if they haven't decided what to look like yet.

Nowadays they're moving their mouth, they're trying to speak, and for once I can hear and remember the whisper of a single word:

Delphi.

The time between my Contracts is meant to be a temporary reprieve. In reality, I don't think any of my downtimes have at any point been restful. Maybe one, right at the start.

Then I was worried about Delphyrion. What do I get for that? Nearly being shot in the chest.

And then... Mells.

What did I do to deserve this, Apollo? How much are you going to take from me in favour of your little "gift" that requires more trouble than it's worth? It better be worth it. I'm losing everything I had even a mild bit of excitement over.

(This happened in a dream. I will write about it after this one.)

What's a few thousand extra dollars? Gods know I wouldn't need that much. It's just... capitalism. It's just to keep a status quo, it's just to prove that this is all professional. What do I really get from this?

Just a few favours and a brief moment for me to think to myself, "I knew it", before he drops the bomb.

Jacob Cruz, the guilty scientist.

Delphyrion Arcanis, the guilty scientist.

Hilarious. Marvelous. Fascinating. Just wonderful that it all worked out this way. It checks out. It checks out so well that the gut feeling from the start has been proven correct - I need to have more faith in myself.

He says they skinned a person - and honestly, there's no reason for Jacob to lie, nor would he have known that I've even heard of Delph before. He doesn't seem to know they live right in Orlando either. 

I can't take it.

I can believe that yet another person around me has been proven guilty of inhuman atrocities. I can believe that if I'm a Contractor, chances are more people around me are also Contractors. I can believe that everyone is going down a spiral of insanity, and it's only a matter of time before I snap too - if I haven't already.

But... how much are you going to keep taking from me?

I'm trying my best, you know damn well I can't achieve enlightenment in a day. I'll find him. I'll find it. I have to. I'll have Jacob help. I'll make him help if I have to. Can't do this alone. And once Mells is gone I'll fake my death. I'll move to Hong Kong. Heard the mental health services there aren't great. I could focus on that. I'll finally have a purpose. It's been so long. I have to go.

Forgive me for what I am about to do, and what I will become.

I can only hope I won't be any worse than Delph.

Have mercy.

Delphi, says the figure in my dreams, and I simply close my eyes even if I can see through my eyelids. Their face is unrecognizable but I can place a name upon them without difficulty. Siopilós. A dear friend that I haven't seen. They are me. From that summer.

But today, they are someone else, possessed by an external force. I do not resist.

Delphi, they repeat, and I do not answer. They will call me by my name if they wish for my attention. Why do you ignore the calling of a God?

I keep my mouth shut. They did not address me. Never speak directly to a deity unless they have addressed you - if you annoy them, they will smite you without a care in the world. It's not really a rule I've read, but I know the wrath of Gods well enough not to test them. I would certainly be confused if I referred to someone and another person decided to talk instead.

I am Apollo. You will listen to me. They are in front of me now. Looking directly at me. I suppose this is enough.

"And Delphi is not my name."

Cassiopeia Sonelios. Do you not know the Oracle of Delphi, dear student of the Olympians?

"I do, but I also know someone who was named after Delphi."

Apollo steps backwards, snapping his fingers as light fills the dark void that I'm sitting in, emanating from a mirage of a certain Mad Scientist. They look as crazed as ever, slipping chemicals out from some sort of non-euclidean structure. I haven't taken enough STEM for this. They refuse to use that name, you know this well.

"I don't know them as well as I thought."

Hmph. Human drama. I have no interest in that.

"Yet you're here."

Delphyrion's silhouette vanishes. Apollo walks towards me and leans forward. A giant maw unhinges, and out spill the Seven Plagues. I'm here to kill you, then.

"Then do it."

He retracts himself. That is highly unamusing.

I can't let a smirk enter my face. "My apologies, O Great One. Oh dear. I am oh so afraid. Woe is me. Wow. Help me. Oh no. What a nightmare."

Zeus is going to revive Chronus and feed me to him if I accept that title. Do not mock me.

"And I cannot answer to a title that hasn't been bestowed upon me."

That is fair. I see why adelfí has taken interest in you.

"Adelfi?"

'Sister'.

"Artemis."

He nods. Indeed. That is besides the point. I am here with a mission.

"As have the Harbingers."

The figure looks mildly annoyed. Their distorted face twists. Foolish. My gift would be far greater.

I do not speak. I will wait for him to fill the silence. Gods are not patient enough after all.

Apollo walks around me, like a vulture honing on its prey. I'm sure I could die in this dream if he wanted. You should be grateful I have not turned you into seafoam right here. That Mask you've donned is a great slight to my gift of prophecy. It is a false prophet whose words hold little weight in the context of eternity.

I bristle at that. I think, 'Where were you when I needed you most, then?'

It has deterred me from speaking to you for far too long.

"It was more powerful than you expected."

There is a brief pause as Apollo simply stares at me. I have an inkling he's thinking - he has to have a comeback, he has to have the last laugh, such is the damning characteristic of all the Greek gods. It is cursed with an ancient evil that even you have little access to. I will admit, even I had some trouble scoping a chance to separate you from it.

"Don't claim credit for my own foolishness."

He extends a finger to lift my chin. I refuse to be stirred. This is my dream. I have control over myself if nothing else. Oh, but dear Cassiopeia, would you have done it otherwise? Left your precious artifact at home within reach of a kleptomaniac whose influence spans the world?

"I would. What about it?"

You mortals think very little of yourselves.

"If that's what you consider 'little', you should meet my client."

Cruz? And so there it is, a figure of Jacob Cruz, glimmering in golden light. This one is less solid, as if it can't decide what it wants to be. He looks half rotten under the glow.

So he knows. "There have probably been some hippocratic violations there."

Apollo steps back. You never even swore it upon my name. You have bigger problems to worry about than a God being omnipotent.

"You couldn't warn me earlier that Delphyrion skins people?"

Again, human drama. Not interested.

"I reckon that's why you never help in my jobs either."

You are capable. That is the only reason why I have spared some of my time to speak to you.

I stand up. The chair that was previously beneath me dissolves into nothing. "I hardly feel like it. I come out of each one feeling like I've lost something important."

And you have a chance to gain something new. That mask - destroy it if you want a true taste of my power. 

"I'd go insane."

You wanted this.

"True."

You humans would sacrifice everything for a little piece of us.

"I would sacrifice everything for less."

Eyes open in the background, dotting the sky and earth and below like haunted stars. Then sacrifice more for me.

"What more do you want to take from me?"

You'll see in due time. I will be watching.

Siopilós vanishes.

I am alone.

I sob.