Tina Wells, Matthew Perkins, Sanya Petrov, & Lauren Hughes. Names that I've tried to forget for years now. I don't know how that godforsaken clown knew about those cases.

The first case I worked on was quite nearly open & shut. Only problem was that their gun, upon inspection, wasn't loaded & couldn't have been used. People were scared & wanted answers. The suspect claimed that the victim was attacked by a werewolf, but the higher ups wanted a more... palatable explanation. Told me that "fixing" the case would earn me a healthy bonus.  Student loans were taking a toll, so I took the bait. Younger me was foolish & didn't realize that I played right into their hands.

On my one attempt to whistleblow out of shame, I received an unmarked letter that had my parents' address, as well as a simple explanation that my involvement would lead to a lengthy jail sentence with little to no repercussions for the Centre. I was a scapegoat; they wanted me to know that I had little choice but to do as they said.

They coerced me into "fixing" other cases: finding bullet casings that were somehow 'missed' on first inspection, a DNA sample found in a compromising location, blood work that conveniently places the suspect at the scene of the crime, fingerprints on the murder weapon.

For those 30 cases I've fixed & for my continued silence, I was paid my 30 pieces of silver; more than enough to pay back my student loans, fund my parents' retirement, & pay off most of my mortgage. I was set up for a comfortable life, but I wasn't free. I have a chance to pay my dues now, albeit a slim one.

I've still got some old files from those cases that have some names I can investigate. Tina Wells was the first one I've worked on, so it only feels right to start there. CSI team, the judge, arresting officers? I'll see what I can find out discreetly first. Anything I find out will be put in here. To those who find this, I wish you luck and hope you use this information wisely.

Every time I go out to a crime scene, I need to calm myself beforehand.

Inhale for 2 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4 counts.

Rinse and repeat. Twice, three times. Add a fourth for good measure.

Had to stop working on autopsies. Corpses... became unpleasant to deal with.

I needed an outlet. A distraction from what I've seen.

Minecraft seemed like a good idea. A temporary fix. Never played before, but figured some things out quickly before I sent Zeph a friend request.

It's been... fun. We got to talk a bit more. Got to explain myself. He understands my situation's complicated; that's all I can ask for.

Turns out Minecraft is incredibly secure. Chat logs get deleted every logoff, so communicating through it is much safer.

If I waited 1 more month before making contact things would have been so much smoother

No, I can't dwell on that. I need to focus on what I can do now.

Tried talking to Cara about setting up connections through Minecraft. Didn't go too well, but got a friend request from her account I think? Been inactive since that day...

That hit from the monster really fazed me. Things always seemed to ignore me and go for other targets, but this one was only after me. I can't rely on them ignoring me anymore.

Heard that hitting the gym was good for the brain, too. Endorphins and stuff. Gym memberships look pretty pricey, so I'll stick to some bodyweight stuff at home in addition to my runs.

I've been working out a bit more. I can bench 225 now, which seems good? I also got a pull up bar and set it up on my bathroom doorframe. 10 consecutive ones. My form could probably use some work, though.

Haven't been able to get in contact with Cara recently. She hasn't logged on to Minecraft in a while, so I figured I should leave her be for now.

Been visiting my parents more often.

I wish I could tell them what's going on, but I can only play it off as struggles at work. Jealous colleagues, stressful cases, etc.

Their looks of concern tore at my heart. They gave me some advice and told me that I could come over to chat and maybe even learn Tagalog.

"Something to keep my mind off of what was going on at work," they said. They have no idea. Hah.

But yeah, I took them up on their offer and now I go every few days. Gives me a plausible reason to stick around more, make sure They don't try anything.

God, that doesn't sound like me.

I feel more... in control somehow? Like I have agency, a choice.

Granted, the choice is probably a death wish, but it's there.

Just need more time.

Just hang in there. For them.

What a wonderful time to celebrate.

Lost an eye. Right before the big day. Hah.

I couldn't show up at my parents' home with this kind of injury, so I had to find a way to get these scars healed.

Apparently, Lily could help me with my predicament.

I finally logged onto Minecraft again.

Talked to them.

We organized a meetup: late at night at a park (the name escapes me). Apparently, Lily's brother hangs around there sometimes to perform some less-than-legal business.

I brought some Sinigang that my mom made a few days beforehand and heated it up before I left. Got some disposable bowls and plastic utensils. Never ended up using them; I don't get a lot of visitors on my birthdays nowadays.

Took the skytrain to... I don't remember. Met up with Zephyren, though.

We chatted for a bit about... something. Hung around for a bit before making our way off the platform.

Saw Lily. Drove us to the park. She healed my injuries and I paid what little I could spare.

We sat around for a bit, sharing a meal and enjoying our little picnic. We chatted about everything and nothing.

I checked my phone. Midnight.

Happy Birthday, you useless waste of space.

We... I had a heated conversation with Lily in the carabout my work grave mistakes. It was horrifying. I... vaguely remember what she said. But that look in her eye, that fire. It reminded me of Oggi, all those months ago. God, we I've changed so much since then.

I've seen so much.

And yet, I've accomplished nothing. Nothing at all. I'm no closer to furthering my goal and I fear that I may simply stagnate, doomed to be a mere cog. At this point, the Centre has given me less and less... cases that need to be fixed. They know I'm on to them.

Damage control. Restriction of information.

However, I have enough.

If I can just ensure my family's safety... I can... I can just... release it all to the world.

Or... I can become a force to be reckoned with. Make myself useful, for once. Become powerful enough to stand on my own two feet. No more reliance on Buck's gunslinging, Goro's wit, Zeph's flames, Lily's mercy, or Charlotte's liveliness. I must take up every endeavour on my own. I must scream at the top of my lungs, "I am not one to be controlled." I can take control of my fate. I will not waver. I will not break. I can fight. I can use up every fibre of my being if only to take a stab at the powers that be.

How bold, Jacob. We can help you achieve that. Just do us a small favour.

Let go.

...I- I need time to... please, I just... I'll never see them again?

...N-no

No.

Not yet. I can still do this on my own.