After that contract that I had run, I was unable to really focus on much else. During my work shifts, my judgements have been clouded. Every time I hear a bush rustle, I expect some otherworldly being to pop out. I've been on edge awaiting my next contract. So far there's really been no message at all. I even considered getting a smartphone again to check the news more often. I backed out though, it still felt strange to be in a tech store. I was in there browsing at all the unusual technology before a salesperson came up to me and I bolted.

Eventually, I was able to will myself to turn on a computer and try to apply for new jobs again. There weren't really many openings when I was using snail-mail. I was even able to find a new position. They originally wanted to video call for an interview, but I was able to schedule one in person in D.C. at their office. I'm not sure how that'll go, but I'm willing to push myself towards the uncomfortable if the world out there is unfamiliar as I've realized.

Thankfully I had a few appointments already lined up for my therapist. She's been a major help. Lisa is amazing. it's like she can read my mind. She even helped me decide that I should appeal my rejection for the job in DC. She told me that there are strict regulations surrounding applicants being denied due to mental health reasons. I'm glad that this happened. I'm not even sure what that woman had against me, but I'm hoping that the appeal goes through and that I will be able to move into DC, where I can have a real effect on change.

Aside from that, the contract has really made me more confident in myself. I find myself seeking out the initiative more and more. I've been able to catch a few smugglers everywhere. Aside from the appeal, I've applied for a few different jobs, which I've got 2 interviews lined up for. Thankfully it's over the phone, so I don't need to travel much. I've been able to get recommendations from other higher-ups that I've worked with in the past before.

Nothing has happened so far lately. It's been really quiet since the last few contracts I've taken. It's been kinda relaxing, I've been just hanging out with my fellow rangers here. I've upped my exercise routine since the last contract. While being that much quicker and stronger doesn't seem like it would've helped there, I don't want the fact that I can potentially lose my life while something is chasing us.

I've been struggling to deal with some losses in my life. Andrew, and then some of the other guys I've met along the way. It's been good seeing a therapist, they've been able to help me cope with what has been going on. Lisa was a great help, and I'm happy to keep seeing her. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if she's been able to really understand what's been happening to me. She lives in a world where the supernatural doesn't happen to her. I'm looking into finding someone else.