Katherine DeLacey's Journal

🔞 Echoes of a Broken Day
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Downtime

Wrapping my head around things

Not going to lie, it's taken me a couple of days to wrap my head around things.  A week ago, I was sitting in the bar, minding my own business, not sure what I was going to do with myself when I get the boot, which has to be coming sooner rather than later.  I mean, we all know it.  The whole damn unit looks at me when they don't think I'll notice.  Which is its own kind of crazy, because they have to know I'll notice, right?  It makes me jumpy.  Jumpier.  Whatever.  It makes me jumpier when they look at me like they're waiting for me to lose it.  

So given where my head is, it's not all that crazy that I am wondering if I imagined the whole damn thing.  I mean, I knew magic was a thing, I even thought maybe a time or two I saw something back when I was in that hole in the ground.  But there's a huge difference between experience and knowledge.  That's something Gunny drilled into us for years, but I don't think it ever felt as... as real... as it does now.

And any time I start to doubt, all I need to do is look at my new toy.  I wonder what the boys would think of her?  I'm not even sure what I think of her.  The weird dude who started all this?  He wasn't lying, that's for sure.  

Now, every time I hear footsteps, I start to wonder if it's him again.  Another chance.  A chance for more.  And at what point will it not matter what the Navy decides to do with me?  Can I be both?  Should I?

 

First Date
You cannot view this Journal entry because it contains spoilers for a Scenario you have not discovered.
Downtime

Range Time

So, when I used my new gun, I wasn't really expecting it to shoot ball lightning or whatever the hell that shit is.  Is it bad of me that I'm glad I learned about that little effect while on a contract.  Better not take that gun with me into the field, assuming I'm ever let back into the field again.  Assuming they don't discharge me.  Yet. 

As I've gone on these Contracts, I've realized that I still manage just fine in the moment.  When the adrenalin's high, I'm still me.  It's only in the middle of the night when I wake up shivering and covered in sweat that I'm not the woman I always knew I was.  That I second guess my life and every choice I made that brought me to this point.  

Anyway, Sparky and I went out into the woods to see what She can do and daaaamn.  Let's just say that I feel better knowing I have Her as my back up.  Even if I think I should maybe keep her a little more... discrete... as I move forward.  

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