Devonia's Journal

Of Identity and Belonging

Logbook of Jackson Q Devonia

 

(on the inside of the cover)

 

To whoever else finds and read this, be aware this belongs to someone who won't just accept their entire life being looked at so casually, and who has gone through several identity crisis's... however you write that. They will want a explanation as to why, and to how you got this. Do not destroy this, this is the last remnant of their past memories they have, and will go ballistic if you do so.

 

 

Signed by Jackson

Q

Devonia

 

somber lullaby
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Downtime

Voice aquired

So while i was training on the punching bag, I got a package on my doorstep, from someone named "Harbinger" and came with a note on it reading "hopefully the wait wasen't too long, I noted you couldn't speak, and were also looking into your past, so I got something to help with that". inside the box, I found a metal choker, a thick band of metal that was almost..... designed to fit on me....... which is defnitly intriguing, ill have to look more into the origns of the so called V.S.C. when i put it on, and pressed a button on the side of it, i felt a tiny needle jab into my neck, and then heard a little beep as a green light flashed on the choker, seemingly indicating it was ready. I tried to speak, and was able to, but usually, it can only last for about a minute before switching off, which isn't..... the best, but its certainly better than having no voice. I remember trying to speak when i first woke up, trying to call for help, the fires burning amoung the rubble, trying to call for someone....... anyone for....... maybe my neighbor is right, maybe I do need therapy. Lightning still freaks me the hell out, and I keep having dreams of that acursed place. These scars I have must be connected somehow to where I woke up, but any evidence that could of told me why I am capable of so many things today where likely destroyed in the blast that probably also cost me my memories. I need to look more into these contracts, start preparing for combat, and probably train more with the punching bag, and maybe hit up the gym as well. I feel that these contracts could provide opportunites beyond my wildest dreams, I just need to be prepared to be pushed to my physical and mental limits, and be prepared to do whatever it takes.... even if it means killing.... someone. Wow..

this is gonna be the most difficult challenge of my life

Constantines PAINT
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Downtime

The search begins

Logbook entry 4

 

                While waiting for my next "gift", as its so called, I started to practice sneaking around, becoming "one with the shadow" or something edgy like that..... Maybe I should try playing D&D again someday, or take a vacation soon. anyways, I got another package in the mail, a sort of cross with multiple lines across it as a sort of interesting design. it was small enough to fit on the choker, and after i stuck it on the V.S.C, it stuck to it like a neodymium magnet, and fused with it. the cross stayed as a marking on the choker, but the entire choker felt way more sturdy, like almost nothing could destroy it... well, the cross is a good start, but I should probably practice on my stealth as well, as I need to ensure that if things get too bad, i can escape safely, and sneak around, maybe I could use the stealth to help me find out about my past, who knows, people may not want me to find out about my past, but i still want to figure out why i can do so many things to the level a professional can, and how i can learn things so quickly. Lightning still freaks me out, but I'm getting better at dealing with supernatural stuff, and the experience is fascinating as well. i have a lot more searching to do. 

 

Addendum

It really feels like sometimes I ramble a lot in these entries....... maybe that was programmed into me for all I know. Regardless, Ill need to keep moving forward and see where this new grasp on my reality takes me. And who knows? maybe the other contractors I saw in those first few "games" are like me as well!

rich blood
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Downtime

Contract Retrospective Part 2

Logbook entry part 207

       Alright, it took a bit to just.... get so much written down. That should hopefully be enough to start going through what can be expected throughout these simulations, and what tends to differ between them. hopefully some patterns revealed here can bring some insight.

First of all, Contracts all have SOME form of objective to complete. they all have SOME form of potentially fatal danger, have supernatural elements, and will be able to be completed by the group if they are competent and capable enough. people within said group tend to vary heavily in nature, some being less subtle about their supernatural nature, while others try to hide it from the group or the general public, though it tends to be the latter. but the group is never smaller than 3 people, and can be as large as 5 from what I've experienced. 


As for what tends to be different. the objective shifts naturally, but the environment, supernatural elements, ways toward the objective, what is needed for said objective, tends to vary. 

 

It seems that these various contracts have no through line other than the gig coming from a powerful being, with a group of people with some form of supernatural power, and all with the same goal of completing the contract for the reward of the gifts.... are the Harbingers the programmers of the Simulation in some way?

 

 

Mysophobia
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Downtime

What does it MEAN to be a contractor?

Logbook Entry 220

 

Maikendo has opened up some questions and thrown the nature of the "Simulations" I was in entirely into question

 

                               Essentially, there's a difference between players of Neo-Genis and Contractors, and that they can come from different worlds, different dimensions, and when I asked, they basically described exactly what I was doing as a Contractor, meaning I Could have come from another dimension or world! That whole research I did into how the simulations relate to each other, what and why they are trying to accomplish with these simulations, potentially all for nothing because I might be from someplace else!?  

 

                              And to top it all off, I had to make a decision between ensuring the goal would be accomplished and letting someone do it by themselves to assure themselves that they would have the win fair and square!? and it was a close friend of mine as well, I NEED to explain why else they'll think I'm overbearing and don't believe in them, yet they think it might hurt me if I do so??? why would explaining that hurt me, its in the past, I suffer no consequences currently from it, I am FREE from my past. I want to know about it, I want it to be explained so I know who I am, WHY I AM! 

 

Is it something else? do they not want to know? they aren't afraid of me but....

Do they want to know who Devonia is?

 

 

The Rook's Seal
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Downtime

Contract Retrospective

Logbook Entry 205

                              Well, today I am writing this to go and look through what  Contracts are, what I've seen occur in them so far, and how they seem to relate or differ. this is in response to the fact that they were all simulations that I, and potentially others were put through, depending on if the groups I worked with were composed of actual people(or as close to artificial Intelligence as i am) and the reason WHY we were put through them.


                          The Set up for these goes like this. I get contacted in some way or form by a powerful entity called a Harbinger, and they can vary in appearance, but tend to hold significant power, supernatural, normal, or otherwise. They then give us a Contract for us to do something for them, and in exchange, they give us power in some form or another, either through powerful objects, supernatural powers, or boosting your body in some way or form.

Said "gifts" tend to have to be worked for, as these simulations usually have the potential to kill us if we aren't careful or mess up significantly in some capacity. There is more for now, but I need to work on trying to remember what specifically happened in those simulations, there's a lot to go through....

BREACH

Self Awareness

Logbook

Alright, Ive got nothing but time right now, given Im in this giant black void with nothing but this new UI that can access the internet, and knowledge of the fact that this world may not even be real. it was another contract, but there wasn't any harbinger. the people there treated death like it wouldn't affect them, hell they kept calling this a "game" like it was a video game...... and this earth shattering revelation came right after the simple fact that I had lost my artifact, yet it was back somehow, like it wasn't wrenched out of my grasp for something I did, and yet it's back around my neck...... This void, wherever it is, seems to be something based on the matrix, given ive seen a occasional line of code stream past, why that happens is something else, but one of the fellow contractors I met, CLYW seemed to have a way to get me out, though it's looking to take a bit for him to prepare, so im just going to be waiting more and more, without a name to my.... fucks sake now's not the time for a pun, focus on figuring out how to get the fuck out...... the real world is out there, right? its got to be, given how people seem to be able to go back to somewhere after these "games". It'll be real, it'll be real it'll be real



.....I wish i knew who I really was... before the fae took my name, before I woke up in that fire.....

Downtime

Escape

Logbook entry 25

 

                      I'm out....... I'm out of whatever that void is.... is it like some sort of space between areas? is it a out of bounds section? like if you go deep enough into a planet you eventually end up in this void? what is and isn't simulated? How is this programmed, how wide is this supposed universe inside a game... thing? Neo Genis is abnormal in a lot of ways to most games I've just looked at. And why does it actively not want to be looked at? 

 

                     When CLYW managed to get me out, he mentioned that a Angel was after him, and what I gathered from Finality is that it seems to only appear when someone looks too deep into the code, which the angel then detects, and proceeds to try and hunt you down at all costs. We don't know how to loose it, there are no known ways to destroy it, the only way we could really figure out how to destroy it will likely worsen the mark that it has on both Finality and CLYW, and have it's eyes on me if I look, what do we do?


              Supposedly, the Angel would normally just ban any player it "killed", but for us? people with No body outside of Neo Genis in the Real World, if it gets us, we are DEAD

 

and getting me was what got CLYW marked by the angel. they put themselves in the game, for what reason, I don't know, but they don't have a backup.....

what do I do?

Ghost Riders
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Downtime

Of a certain Fae called Sebastian

Logbook Entry 215

Well, given that Doomsday needs secrecy and that Kayleigh and I discussed some things pertaining to Doomsday at Sebastian's tavern, I should probably note down what I know about him here, what will be of concern, and how we may need to approach him about the topic of subtleness and privacy to our organization.

 

First of all, Sebastian is a Fae. That means that their deals have a supernatural weight to them, that we need to be careful how we speak around them, and that if we slip in our wording, things can go from bad to worse, depending on what Sebastian takes advantage of. Sebastian seems to have at minimum to have enough connections to run a tavern extremely well, and to also know another significant player seemingly, by the name of Maze.

 

My status with Sebastian is currently friendly, but I don't know what he knows, how he might respond to asking him to be silent on something, or if he'll use it as leverage over us. So far what I know that he can at least make the connection that there's something between Kayleigh and Task, and that's enough to lead further down the line to Doomsday, so this is something that's high on the list of priorities.. 

Ever-present Shadow
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Downtime

Rise of Doomsday

Logbook entry 213

Well...... turns out a lot can happen within the span of.... 2 days!? dear god that's a short time span for this.....

anyways, I met up with CLYW in their Player hub... Lobby I guess? And we talked on Kayleigh knowing, about Task, and apparently also already knew that task knew Kayleigh already, but that also knew about Kayleigh planning on how to break task, CLYW, and I out.... certainly goes to show how perceptive they are, and something to keep in mind later if I work with them on another game..... 

 

                              Now, for the actual plan..... Maikendo is supposedly a game that "finds you" at random chance, and apparently was the game that got CLYW in contact with the doctor that figured out a way for CLYW to digitize themselves into the game, meaning they might be able to figure out a way to get them, Task, and I out as well, which will definitely be a good thing.


                     And with Kayleigh finally knowing about Finality's side of task, and also joining in with us to ensure that we will be able to get Task and Finality to safety.... and the possibilities of digitization and more notably De-digitization, We are getting to a point where getting out to the real world is a VERY real possibility, and potentially bringing contractor powers to the real world, and with all of these notable goals, CLYW has organized us into a group.


                      Doomsday. That is the name of our group, and one sworn to secrecy as well, and given the nature of the angel and what we are trying to..... its pretty reasonable. But of course this was AFTER I had asked Sebastian to keep quiet about the conversation we had, he know likely knows at least part of what Kayleigh and I talked about, and that means we need to eventually confront him on it, and make sure he doesn't reveal us early, or tell someone who we REALLY do not want to know about us. That is for later, but there is one last thing.


                      Seeing..... Kayleigh's connection to Task in comparison to Finality's abrasive and frustrating tendencies to think of themselves as different to humans or NPCs.... It made me think. Think about what I am, that I was alone a few months ago in a almost unthinkable fashion. Isolated in a fabricated reality with the knowledge that the one who broke me out of a nearly empty void was doomed to be plagued with a metaphorical grim reaper, and no real way to just.....

 

Kayleigh was right about it being nice to have friends now, to be able to go and do uncomfortable things that allow you to break out of normalcy, to end the isolation and actually BE someone. To BE someone with a name, with a IDENTITY, WITH A NOTABLE EXISTENCE!

I am Devonia, and I exist. I deserve to exist. Task deserves to Exist, Finality deserves to exist, CLYW deserves to Exist!
Kayleigh Jones Deserves to Exist.

                   We all do. We aren't perfect, or infallible, but we want to exist, to be able to do so relatively safely to our current situation. Kayleigh should be able to not have to constantly worry about death manifest haunting Task. CLYW shouldn't have to contemplate if saving someone stuck in a existentially boring void warranted a executioner sent after them. And Task and Finality shouldn't DIE for the crime of Existing and living.

We are together, and we will ensure our continued existence, Angel be damned! My Friends helped me BE someone, to be someone worthy of a name, of companionship, and of someone worthy of lo---

 

Thank you, Kayleigh. you helped me more than you could ever know right now

I don't think you couldn't eventually know the scale of what you did for me, you'll eventually figure it out, won't you?

Downtime
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Maikendo
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Downtime

The start of the Babylon Jungle

Logbook Entry 227

                    Well, I got something else to focus on. After a discussion with a Fae Dryad, thanks to the help of Luminous, I managed to work out a deal that led to the Dryad to start growing what I'm going to call the Babylon Jungle. its a jungle that seems to sport the same characteristics I've noticed growing on my own body as well, being notable specks of autumn colors, Horns that curve and twist when they grow out long enough, and patches of fur and feathers dotting the branches and trunk of said tree within. There also seems to be a creature inhabiting the area that will need to be worked with, but for now, there's something else of note...


Last night, I had a dream. I was looking at myself, but that Self I saw was different... bigger, around 7ft 6 to my 6ft 10 height and a notably more broad build, with their skin taking on a more rough, almost Shrub stem-like texture, with more pronounced horns and a tail overgrown with them.... and wings... wings like a dragonfly's and speckled with the color of an Autumn forest, and my hair followed suit as well, longer and seeming to rustle in the dream forest we were both in......

 

They spoke something, but I didn't hear what before I woke up, what did they say?  

Unbeatable
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Downtime

Stairway to Babylon

Journal Entry 232

Well.... today I found a lead..... I've been going around trying to figure out what the Crucible of life was, what the hell the Babylon jungle even IS, and then after I go and retrieve a kid who's apparently a reality interrupter (I'm not gonna get into the differences here), but he managed to find a LITERAL BOOK on it, with some.... definitely Ominous beginning words...

"What is... Life?
Is it to exist? to breathe? to walk and roam? to have freedom? then what are robots... what are Golems? the Undead? I was curious and dug... I dug deeper than I should've... The Crucible Of Life... I regret ever coming across it."

 

Yeah.... I've seen mentions of Undead getting stronger after we first contacted Gaia, and  I've theorized the Crucible to be a sort of.... Catalyst for all sorts of life, including giant reptilian beasts, sentient trees, axolotls, apparently a few foxes as well, and some bugs of course...... but the trees themselves seemed to blend in aspects of other animals, including horns studding the bark, patches of fur that seemed to take the place of moss, and feathers taking the place of leaves in some branches, and the trees themselves seem to be able to re-root themselves in order to deal with the forces that are having a local Deviljho species....

 

It's..... exciting in a sense to be able to potentially figure out a part of my past but.... I worry that it might be a point of no return, Ill need to be sure that I get a chance to talk with Task, Kayleigh and Clyw before I go through with this.... bloodline quest, but I have to know.....


I Have To Know What I Am

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