I am realizing more and more how random these jobs can get so I am putting more stock into what I can always have with me and what I can do to make the jobs go smoother. I can scrape together spare change for gear and tools and I'm getting a better idea of what to look out for with each job, but still, sometimes it feels like I am at the mercy of the universe and get dropped into things that are way above my head. I am looking into what I can do with my gifts to improve them and be ready to adapt to more jobs. 

I feel like I am changing, changing into my own identity, I feel my own path before me now and while it's still terrifying I can say without a doubt I wont be like the monsters in my nightmares. I will be my own monster if nothing else.

Been searching for more answers, but I also have been getting more money, jobs for my unique talents, I can fix things that normal people can't. Improve things that people need amped up. A gangbanger wants his car souped up to win a pink-slip race? No problem. A pro gamer wants a new rig overclocked? Yeah, I can do that. All for the right price. 

I've been looking into getting into a much nicer apartment with the money I've been making under the counter.