I'm still troubled by the events experienced in Nevada. It all feels so surreal, like another nightmare, but unlike my usual terrors, this is just one I haven't woken from yet. My mind's been racing lately, not with the usual pursuits of my research but more with being prepared for the next time I end up on a job from a harbinger. I cannot be as ill prepared as I was this last time.

I've already gotten to work on something that may further my endeavors and help on a dangerous job. It's only a prototype but the mask - what I'm calling a psych-Scope - is already operational. It should allow me to protect myself from contaminants, as well as unexpected stimulants, while also reading mental data from a target with little more than a gaze. Though it does create an unsettling feeling like a low frequency hum that takes you out of body, and not in any way a pleasant out of body experience. Further testing is obviously required. To be completely honest, I couldn't say exactly how this tech works, the design, the implementation it all just came to me, like something I knew would work despite having no reasoning as to why.

Despite the fear and imminent danger, I still find myself compelled to undergo these contracts. The executive, well - "harbinger" that first approached me wasn't wrong about my research becoming stagnant. It's not that I am not invested, if anything my resolve has only been strengthened but I must admit I have been hitting dead ends for some of my most promising formulae. I've never been one for blind optimism, but I know things are moving in the right direction even with these setbacks. I can feel it. There's only a matter of time until I grasp something that produces more results than just that of an everyday sleep aid or supplement.

While I've been working on better preparing myself for these contracts, I feel that I need to double my efforts since I've been risking my life on a near monthly basis. The last run really put things into perspective for me. There will be times where people will have no option but to turn to me, and I cannot allow myself to fail them. I refuse to be a liability anymore. To this end, I've begun a training regimen to improve my stamina and coordination, two things I've always been pretty lacking in - of course due to my condition and life style. I maintain the belief that my mind and the recent tools I've developed remain my strongest assets in tough situations, but I cannot slack on physicality. As always, the work comes first but I am making active effort to do coordination exercises and going for daily jogs when weather permits. I still believe some type of formal weapons training will be advantageous, but I haven't settled on what to do about that yet, especially when I am awakening to new abilities. It is no longer questionable that a type of magic suffuses my designs. I recently lost my keys and found myself able to unlock my apartment with little more than thought, and an absent minded gesture. I would not have believed it had my little burst of frustration opened just the door lock, but I heard the deadbolt unlock as well. Like with my inventions, this development will take some experimentation and refinement, maybe even some assessment of my mental health to believe that I am capable of something akin to magic, but between the golden dust-like substance found under the microscope within my latest formulas, and within the lenses of the Psych-Scope, I am starting to run out of logical conclusions.

I decided to take a few days off of work while I was still out in Louisiana. I felt it was the perfect time to relieve some stress and explore a place I never paid much attention to, despite visits in the past. Well, that's what I try to tell myself at least, as in truth I just had to get back to Chris' Po Boy for some more of that delicious food. Additionally, I had to deal with the damaged rental car and the fees I was undoubtedly going to incur, I think it for the best that I stick around Lafayette for a few days. I actually slept in the beat up car for the first night out here. I was too exhausted to find somewhere else to go, and wise enough to know not to stay up even longer with the powers of caffeine and nicotine, we've all got our limits. I did dread sleep though, as usual. I was lucky enough to not have a particular violent night terror. It would be hard explaining flailing in a beaten up car on the side of the road to passersby. I guess there can be some pros to intense sleep deprivation. Nonetheless this nightmare was particularly bad. I dreamed of darkness; shadowy tendrils crawling across me, paralyzed and unable to stop them from creeping into my eyes, mouth, nose...alarmingly physical compared to the more metaphysical hauntings my nightmares tend to have. In the invasive darkness flooding into me, I saw glittering specks of gold much like the microscopic particles I keep finding when studying the components of my recent inventions. I still have no idea what they are but I feel they're the reason my latest formula has shown promise, and why the nightfall serum is as potent as it is. Somehow even taking a break from it all, I still dwell on my work. I'm hoping that the next couple of days prove to be uneventful, refreshing and relaxing enough to keep my head clear for when I return to the lab.