*click*

so this is my real voice...well ok....this is as close to my real voice as anyone's gonna hear ever again probably. where to begin. ok. after a convoluted fiasco of leaving harem girl behind and getting shipped to my old manager in LA, I'm now skinriding a homeless guy who was asleep outside my manager's office. I say convoluted fiasco because getting this motherfucker to believe I was me was a chore. Had to work some of my whammy on 'em. my mojo. my magic. but ok. Bert my manager now believes I'm alive. I still don't have access to any of my money, as my estate is in the hands of blah blah blah, financial bullshit. but Bert thinks I'm me. I told him I went to Tibet and became a native and shit. I told him I needed to disappear for a while and get off the H. he didn't think it would take 15 fuckin years to do, but I assured him it did. and then there's the "why do you look like you did 15 years ago" question.  OH YEAH!  I forgot to mention. this is hilarious! when I possessed this bum, I became me! my old self. I look exactly like I used to. it's absolutely killer. I know it won't last forever, because I feel the bum back there occasionally shufflin around and every day it feels like he gets little bit closer to the surface. but hey man, it's good for now. I can't do any of the cool shit though. so while this works for trying to get my life back in order, it ain't gonna work as a battle form. need to be free floatin in my natural state to unlock my Super Saiyan powers. which does blow, I'll admit.

(silence)

the other place feels, I dunno, further away when I'm like this. the world has color again. it's not like those twisted gray hellscapes everywhere when I'm inside. no Kingdoms of Iron and these bullshit old ghosts acting like kings and emperors and shit. just your usual forms of authoritarianism. and that's the wild thing. it feels like I was only gone from the world for a day. but when I'm in that place, I feel every goddamn day of those 15 years. so in a weird way, maybe I did know time was passing. it's a weird feeling.

(pause)

but yeah, anyway. I got Bert back on Team Nikki and he's looking into things. we're keeping shit real DL right now. no media, no nothing. all behind the scenes stuff. be nice to not have to get shipped everywhere in a cardboard box. but yeah. I'm here for now at the management agency. I'm sleeping in an apartment they keep upstairs for celebrities who are trying to avoid the press. so. it works. until the day there's a homeless guy sleeping in that bed instead of me. ah well. burn that bridge when we get to it.

*click*