Man, this gig really might be worth the hellfire that's gonna rain down on us if we fuck it up. This place is really nice - they've even got hot water in the bathrooms. I haven't had a shower that nice in forever, and I came out of there actually feeling pretty good for once. I could really get used to this, even if it means having to stick my neck out working with those freaky things all the time.

I figure it's the type of job that gets easier the longer you do it. No doubt I'm made of stronger stuff than all those other freshie schmucks - I give it a couple weeks before the last of 'em are on the first ride outta this place. That's not to say I would mind going back to Fixer work, but I'm just saying I'm more than capable of getting the hang of this.

Anyway, just like Fixer work, the golden rule seems to be the same here: do what you're told and try not to inconvenience the upper management, and that's how you'll succeed. Seems like the guy in charge of us knows the value of an employee who knows when to put up and shut up. I'll be the one bossing him around in no time.

It seems like I was right: longer you stick with this gig, more desensitized you become, easier it gets to do your job and do it well. Which is good news for my numb ass, so like I said - I'll be one of the top agents in this place in no time.

Not sure if the freshies I'm stuck with are going anywhere, though. I got to chat with one of 'em after that poor kid Cooper died. He was moppin' the floors, cleaning up all the carnage, and I stayed behind to see if I could pick his brain about the whole sitch for a little. And whaddya know? Looks like I'm not the only one who's gotten used to poor sons of bitches kicking it after they got in over their head. Maybe this guy's got what it takes to hold this job.

He definitely thinks I'm a total freak though. And somehow he knows about Aunt Eva - who knows what else this dude has on me? I wouldn't be surprised if he knew about my Fixer work. Wonder if he'll try and hold it over my head?

He just seems chill and honestly, pretty tired. Now that, I can sympathize with.

You actually wrote like you said you would. I must say, Zay, I'm impressed.

But you'll have to do more than that if you want to prove to me that letting you sign your life away to this job was a good idea, because frankly, I'm not convinced. Do you know how much work has piled up in the three days alone you've been gone? When that paycheck arrives, it had better be enough to make all this trouble worth it, or so help me, Zayir, I'll storm that facility and drag your sorry ass back home myself. From where I'm standing now, I'd much rather have a second pair of hands to deal with the shitstorm the higher-ups are raining down on us than a few extra digits in the bank.

But I read your letters. It's good to know you're doing well, if nothing else. You were always my good kid. All I'm saying is that you'll have to do better than good if you want to convince me that letting you jump ship from the Association and leave your poor aunt with all this work was worth it.

Don't forget who you owe all of this to, Zay. Everything I've done for you, I did out of the kindness of my heart. If it weren't for me, well.. you know what? Let's not think about that. But the fact remains that the least you could do is show some respect in return.

- Eva

Aunty's pissed at me, fuck.

I really hate it when she gets like this. Fuck, maybe she's right, maybe joining L Corp was a bad idea. Maybe I should've just stuck with the Association. Selfish to fuck off to L Corp and leave her with the work piling up, I know what that asshole Thelma is up to, I shouldn't have just left her. Ugh. I don't know, I really don't. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I just.. can't stand the thought of Aunty pissed at me. I don't know. It just makes me feel weird. Like I've done something really wrong. And fuck, maybe I have, maybe she's gonna die just like those poor fuckers from South Section 3 and it'll be all my fault.

There's.. there's nothing I can do about it anymore, though. At the end of the day, Aunty's right - if I'm gonna run off to L Corp I better make it worth her while. I mean, I'd like to think I did a good job today. I totally kicked the shit out of Cap, heh.. serves those suckers right.

I'm glad to hear from you, Zayir.

You'll have to excuse me for not replying to your last letter. Thelma has been working us to the bone, as I told you the last time I wrote. I'm not surprised by anything you told me. In fact, I'd be disappointed if you didn't manage to dole out some good beatdowns when they sent you for that training program. All that training wasn't wasted on you, at least. Good job defeating your department captain. I agree also regarding what you said about your.. coworker, the one who.. mouth-fed his opponent Enkephalin. I do think it's best that you stay away from him, but I'd go so far as to warn you that even with the rest of your coworkers, you don't truly know them. You shouldn't be so quick to break bread with them either, but you know that, of course.

And goodness, Zay, I didn't think I'd have to tell you this, but don't get too comfortable with the Abnormalities. They are not your friends either, not your coworkers, not your superiors, no one. The longer this goes on, the more I begin to feel that allowing you to run off to L Corp was a mistake, and not just because - as I said - I'm being worked to death without you.

I read what you wrote about the.. judgment bird, and to be frank with you, I'm quite disappointed. I think you know better than to say such things. That coworker who went mad is nothing like you - you're different from him, aren't you? Stronger? I raised you better than to be so soft. Really, Zay, what does it matter to you what that bird thinks? One of the first things I taught you is that justice is a very idealistic thing. You know what it means to be truly fair, don't you?

Be safe. And try to think a little more about what you're doing in that place.

- Eva

I don't know what the fuck that chef bastard thinks he's playing at, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, but clearly he hasn't had the full backstreets experience if he doesn't know by now to mind his own fucking business. Triggerlicking son of a bitch thinks he's got a right to meddle in my personal life, as if what I do and who I do it with is any fucking concern of his. He's lucky that Louis lady was around - if not, they'd already be mopping his brains off the fucking walls.

All the goto in the world couldn't get me to tolerate that bastard needling me about my fucking scars as if he's the fucking boss of me, as if I'm a fucking child who doesn't know what's what. Next time, he won't be so lucky. He fucks with me again and I'll kill him, populated ass department or not.

I was having a good fucking day until he decided he wanted to get up all in my shit. Cap isn't so bad, and Igoree and Ryn are actually kind of funny even if Ryn's a fucking prude.

I want that chef bastard far, far away from me.

Hello, Zayir.

I will be plain with you - I am extremely disappointed in your carelessness. I find it laughable that you of all people would caution me against divulging anything dangerous to you in these letters when this entire time, you have been running your mouth without a fear or a doubt of what it might bring upon my head. I find it laughable that you claim you care for me, that you would not know what to do if such a terrible fate befell me, when you seem entirely too happy to put me and the Association at risk with your zealous disregard for the consequences of your actions. I believed, at least a fraction, that you would have by now learned something, that you would know better - but it appears I was wrong.

Make no mistake, this hurts me more than it hurts you. I love you, I always have, and that is why I cannot allow this. There is no one, not your captain, not your coworkers, no one who understands you the way that I do, and there never will be. Allowing you to work at the Wing was a kindness, and I have given you no shortage of those in the past, but a line must be drawn, Zayir. You do not deserve the comforts you enjoy at L Corp, not when they come at a price like this. You do not deserve to live in relative peace while me and the Association - whom, I will remind you, you owe everything to - are battered by tragedy after tragedy. You do not deserve any of it, and if you had any shame at all, you would know that.

It is clear to me now that you haven't learned a thing, and I was a fool to think you had. I am exhausted with your selfishness. However, if you sincerely believe that your comfortable new life at a Wing is worth the certain death that awaits me and the rest of the Association, then so be it.

The choice is yours.

Yo, Aunty.

Not.. a lot's happened since I got promoted, actually. I've been making some friends - or, well, friends with benefits is probably a better word for it - among my coworkers, I guess? I know you said not to trust anybody, and don't worry, I'm still keeping that in mind. They're just.. something to keep me entertained in the meantime. Sorry, I can't help being a slut any more than a bird can help the need to fly. If anything it's probably safer to whore around in here than it was in the Backstreets, 'cause I can just shoot up with a K Corp ampule and I don't gotta worry about contracting anything nasty.

Anyway, I didn't write this letter to run my mouth to you about my sex life. I've been doing pretty good, seriously. I'm impressing my captain and my superiors, and just in general I think my coworkers are starting to respect me more. I even managed to bring down three tough sons of bitches (with help - not that it matters) and bag myself some powerful EGO gear. I'm being careful, I'm learning, I'm getting better. I seriously think I've got the hang of this Feather stuff now, Aunty, and I swear I'll make you proud, I'll prove to you that you made the right choice letting me work here at L Corp.

I still don't really know what you meant when you said the Association was dealing with tragedies. Is it just more of Thelma's standard bullshit, or is it something more? Either way, just.. tell me how I can help, and I'll help you. I might be a Feather, but you'll always come first.

I hope you're doing alright, Aunty.

There's something seriously fucking wrong with this Sobin kid.

Lucky for him, though, whatever's wrong with him is really, really funny. I know he's been treating this whole thing like a performance, but girl, I just thought he was autistic or something, I didn't realize how much he'd committed to the bit. Yeah, this is gonna sound weird and fucked up, but that makes him more trustworthy in my eyes, since all he's after is a good show. He's not pretending to be some savior or saint like Mormon or Bill, he's not trying to dress what he wants up in pretty words like that snake Gene. It is really, really refreshing to just have somebody who's honest about what he wants and the kinda guy he is. Even if he's a callous, selfish dickhead about it. But hey, who am I to talk? Not like I'm any better.

Man, I hope this kid sticks around.

I'm glad to hear from you, Zayir.

Excuse the slightly late reply. Our schedule has been tight, which certainly isn't helped by the fact that we have one less set of hands on deck, thanks to you. I'm very glad to hear that you're safe, although I am quite disappointed that you're running your mouth again. Please bear in mind what I told you about divulging sensitive information to me in your letters - you are directly endangering me and the Association, and I don't want to have to keep reminding you of this. You should know better by now. Don't make me warn you again.

Furthermore, don't get complacent. You may be doing well now, but we both know that you have a tendency to become careless once you're comfortable that things will go well for you. Keep your guard up. A Wing is no place to be careless and mess around, and it's certainly no place to be having fun. Please, for your own sake, try to handle all of this with a little more maturity and finesse. You were raised the way a Shi Fixer should be, and I expect you to hold yourself to those same standards even though you no longer work for our branch.

As for Tenma, she's doing well. She didn't have much to say to you. Her only advice was that you ought to remember how to hold your weapon properly. I can only assume she has more pressing things to attend to. I advise you against trying to contact her or the Director in the future. You'll only be distracting them.

Be safe.

-

Dear Zayir,

It's Tenma. I hope this message finds you well... or at all. 

Things have been rough over on our side, nothing's changed with the branch manager and we're still so tired out. I hope the wing at least has better schedules, breaks are becoming a fading dream to us...

If you do have breaks, I pray you're doing better than we are... I also hope you haven't forgotten the methods I taught you. I wasn't really the best at guns, but if you've ever been issued a sword, remember what we practiced.

I had to make this short, as the Director's been getting worse and worse by the day. Soon we'll barely have time to even chitchat among each other by the looks of it.

Make it out alive and well rested. By now that probably counts as a dream...

Sincerely, Tenma.

Hey, Aunt Eva.

I get it, I'll be more careful about the things I tell you. I'm really sorry if I've caused you and the Association any more trouble. It's all right though, there's not a lot to report anyway. Things have been mostly chill since I last wrote. I don't know if I told you, but lately I've been hanging around somebody who calls themself the Shepherd. They're the one whose gear I'm using. They honestly remind me a lot of you, which is really nice.. it feels like a little bit of home, you know? The weird thing is that everybody and their mama seems to think Sheph is bad news. I don't get it myself, I'm pretty sure they're all just being a load of weak-willed pussies.

And don't worry about me. I promise, I'm not gonna get complacent. The thing about this fuckin' facility is that it keeps you on your damn toes, if nothing else. There's always some new bullshit to deal with, and I might be a bit of a narc with his head up his own ass but I know I'm definitely not as seasoned as some of my coworkers. I'll get there soon, though - I'll earn the right to be complacent. (That's a joke.)

There is something I think you should know about though. Recently, they made us fill out background check forms. I think it should be fine, I didn't put anything sensitive in there, but I think it's best I tell you just in case. Ugh, I hate having to use my surname for anything.

Oh, and I don't know if you know, but as for Tenma, she actually wrote to me herself. I don't know if I'll have the time to write back, seeing as the job's working us a little hard lately, but it's really nice to hear from her. Are you guys sure things back with the Association are okay? Please don't feel like you've gotta lie to me.. I know I shouldn't have left. I'm really sorry. Just say the word and I'll help however I can, I swear.

Oh, and.. thanks for talking to Tenma for me. I'm glad she's hanging in there.

Love you. Stay safe.

Hey, cunt

Hi, Tenten!!

Yo girl

Hey, I'm really, really happy to hear from you.

It sounds like things are going to total shit over there. Fuck Thelma, as usual, and tell the Director to hang in there for me.. god, compared to what's going on with you guys, L Corp sounds like heaven. I wish I could've taken you and Aunty with me.

It's chill here compared to Fixer work. We get regular breaks, a good amount of sleep, they've got all these tech gizmos to keep us in tip-top shape.. hell one of my coworkers has even set up a gourmet kitchen. Not that I'd advise eating anything from it, but still.

God, that sounds like I'm flexing. I'm so sorry.

Aunty told me things were rough over there, but I didn't realize just how bad it was. Ugh, I shouldn't have left.. I kind of feel like shit, staying dry and cushy under a Wing while you guys deal with all of that. I'll make it out alive, whatever it takes. I'll come back to you guys and I'll help you, I promise.

Fuck, why did I write this? Now I just feel guilty as shit.

Sorry, Tenma.