So it's time to converse about my trusty companions, soon to be clients I'm sure. Maybe even friends? I haven't had much luck in that department really, I always end up getting into bother with them because of this silver tongue and lust for money and fame. Anyway, let's begin:
- Selene Hollow first. She's a sarcastic, charismatic tattoo artist. I've never been much interested in tattoos. A man as short as me only has a limited amount of surface area on this body. What story can a little drawing tell on my body that I can't with my voice box? Anyway, Selene. She's actually quite...normal. I didn't expect that with this ragtag group of weirdos. Normality is especially important in this entirely unique and weird situation. She will, I expect, keep us grounded and engaged with the task at hand. You know what? I actually quite enjoy her company. It balances out the absolutely insane elderly man that I find so much joy from.
- Onto said elderly man: Uncle Ben. Is he a pirate? Is he a privateer? Is he a pensioner? Is he a hitman? Is he Neo from the Matrix? Honestly I've no idea. I've stopped guessing now, and have just accepted that whatever he wants to be, he is. But damn, the man can shoot. He has this insane gat in his back pocket that shreds anything and anybody in its way. The man never misses too. I feel somewhat more comfortable with him around, and I get my entertainment from him, definitely. I suspect he and I will become very close friends indeed. If I need somebody gone, I'm sure I can spin the situation in a way where he also wants them gone. Clinically insane? Yes. Funny and unique? Absolutely.
- Speaking of Funny, we move onto another one of my new companions. Funny Harvester. Now what I did notice is that Funny sort of disappeared on this boat, we found her snoozing in a cell, in the company of a Tapir. I was honestly speechless. Whilst we were working hard, firing our 9mm's (Or for Uncle Ben, a 50kal Handgun), Funny was asleep in the hay. Though, it doesn't take away from the fact that this Tapir took a great interest in her. Could it be some magical mumbo-jumbo to somehow influence animals? I'm not sure, but it is certainly interesting. I'll have to find out more. She seems to be great with animals, and from what I understand she's a farmer of sorts. However judging from what I've seen, she's got the charisma of a door. Ah well....Not everyone can be as perfect as I am....
- Next up, Danny Plentitude. As the subtle name suggest, the man is LOADED. He's also American, the only non-British individual in the group. The man is clearly an intellectual, and has quite the silver tongue himself. He helped us out a lot, using some strange technique to sort of influence people to do his bidding. Now that is a power I've always dreamed of! If I could gain this man as a client, then it's a life of wealth and glory for me. He's a hater of the, 'Woke'. Now me, if a person has cash in their pocket that they're giving to me, I don't care if they're asleep or awake. Nevertheless, Danny is a bright spark within this group, and will absolutely be useful in the coming future.
After finishing a rather splendid breakfast, one that Shaggy Rogers and his esteemed dog themselves would be jealous of, we picked up a contract and headed into the jungle. Our task was simple, clear out the Flagless hooligans that were mithering in the business of Dinosaur eggs and looked to capture them, to put them into a, 'pit'. I don't know what this pit is, but I'm not a huge fan of pits, I often struggle to get out of them. Anyway, we arrived and got straight to work. Danny and I let loose our silver tongues (his might be golden due to his huge amount of wealth, I'm yet to investigate this theory) and convinced the mischievous miscreants that we were hired by their group to get the eggs and secure the Dinos. It took some convincing, I admit, and perhaps had to repeat my words several times. But, we managed just fine. Now, I had the genius idea of gathering them all into a singular building, blocking the doors and lighting it on fire. However, the group highly disapproved of this idea. I chose to listen to them. What can I say? I guess I'm just a great team player.
Anyway, I managed to steal one of their radios, climbing onto Uncle Ben's shoulder (Who, by the way, now had it in his head he was some great plantation owner or something, I'm not sure) and listen in on their conversations. Sometimes my genius is just simply frightening. We learned that they were growing suspicious, so I informed my fellow patriots (and the American) and we chose to lure them in and kill them all together. After silently offing those in the huts one-by-one, soon arrived Antony. I did what any upstanding warrior would do and hid in the Porta-loo to ambush them. I was well hidden, until Funny (Who was injured at this point) barged in and hid behind me. I continued my efforts to ambush either way, and opened fire on Antony. Biggest mistake of my life, because the bullet he sent right back to me almost killed me. Right into my leg. I patched it up whilst the other valiant heroic allies of mine finished the job of killing the scallywags. Funny then did something that I admired immensely. She started rubbing her hands and a wet paper towel on my wound, using more of her magical mumbo-jumbo. It healed me good! That single act alone shifted my entire view on this woman. It was a selfless act that you don't often see in the cutthroat politics of the courtroom! It almost makes me want to commit a selfless act of my own....Almost.
Anyway, we headed towards the Dinos and their eggs, Danny incredibly distracted them with his sandwiches, and headed into their secret waterfall hideout. That got cleared rather quickly, but Selene got hit in her eye. I've seen some pretty gruesome stuff, but that tops it. Eugh. Whack an eyepatch over that wound and it should be fine. Anyway, we hacked into their laptop, discovered they were led by some brigand of a very serious title and headed back to camp.
Overall, it was a successful contract completed!
I never once considered working within a group, whether that be in my early years, in the courtroom or any other of my endeavours. I always thought that if a task is deemed impossible to handle alone, then it simply isn't worth the effort. However, I'm reconsidering this stance. Admittingly, I could not do any of this without my compatriots.
Uncle Ben with his fists of fury and the quick draw of a Wild Western Gunslinger. Danny Plentitude with his heaps of wealth, persuasive tone, bright mind and unique character. Selene Hollow with the eye(s) of a hawk (sometimes literally) and her useful nimbleness. Then, Funny G. Harvester, with a knack for all things within the animal kingdom and brilliant healing prowess.
We all make quite the team. Through them and our work together, could my wishes for great fame and wealth finally come true? Could everything I've worked so hard towards in my life finally come into fruition? I sincerely hope so. And If I have to be friends with them and form bonds through these contracts then I will. Usually, I'd say that with reluctance. But, perhaps my view on that matter is beginning to shift...
Downtime, Downtime, Downtime. Is this the same period of time that I have already been down for? Yes. Does the General care? No! And so, I shall write more for this man.
He intimidates me. To be fair, most things do. I'm like 4"6 (Round it up to 5"0). Especially things that I can't just shoot. The man definitely has some sort of secret energy bubble that will squash me like a bug if I even attempt to harm him. I bet the man also has 10 locked iron doors just to enter his front garden. He strikes me as the no-nonsense type. But, he's generous with letting us act like complete morons. Apparently he hand-picked us or something? I'm sorry, but what a random group of rag-tag allies we all are. Not that I'm necessarily complaining. Ever since I joined up, I've experienced power that is quite frankly addicting.
Contrary to the performance my good fellow Uncle Ben puts on, he can provide some very good wisdom if you ask the right questions. On our way back towards the camp, I found myself conversating with the man (Or this time, Grandma Ruckus?) about all things life. It was insightful. I discovered that he has endless bounds of information that may spurt out between each 'character'. Each character has vastly different views, personality and styles to them. One day he may tell you that a meteor is coming down to Earth and that we must take shelter, the next he may tell you to Storm Normandy with him and end the war. The man never breaks character either, so I may have to resort to a set of questions, and ask that set of questions everyday to the new character. I will be very interested to hear the results and then compare them.
Whilst in-between the contracts, It might provide much needed entertainment. Perhaps I can find a way to influence what character he may take on next? I don't know....It's probably not possible, but I guess it's something to do between missions.
After all that tomfoolery nonsense with my briefcase, I headed back into camp. And boy, apart of me appreciates missing that mission.
Uncle Ben was nattering on about some foxhounds and racially abusing minorities? He then spoke briefly to me about American's leaving the Empire?
Danny looked like hell too. The man was barely standing on his own. His awesome suit was all mucked up as well. I almost pitied him, but an opportunity presented itself. I should buy some cheaply made suit, spray paint it red, white and blue, then flog it to him for triple the price. He's absolutely minted - He won't be bothered about spending a fortune on a new suit!...Or maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't do such a thing because I'm rather fond of Danny.....Na, I'll flog him a suit.
I didn't talk much to Selene, she seemed pretty quiet. No sassy remarks, no snarky looks. It was like when the family dog runs away. You're desperate for it to return, and whilst it's gone, nothing really feels the same.
Anyway, I tried informing the group about my perilous expedition to retrieve my briefcase. They were not so interested as I had first presumed.
I will say this. A part of me is glad they're all ok. I can't do any of this by myself. I'm not really sure how to process these feelings. Perhaps they're becoming my friends? is there really more in this world than just clients and the courts for me?
As I've stated many times, and perhaps what is quite known about me - I don't have much in terms of friends. I was comfortable with this, focusing on my fame and fortune. I used people for my own gain, and had a clear conscience - I still do. However, as I spend more and more time with my fellow compatriots, I've been struggling with my own thoughts, fighting a battle of my own inside my head. These people I've come to know for the past week or so are unique. They're different. Yes, sometimes they are quite unpredictable, maybe outright insane. But, they're entertaining. They all have their own troubles, but we're all united for one sole purpose, united through this contract we all signed. United through these gifts.
It begs the question - Are these my allies, or perhaps more than that? I oppose the idea of having friendships, it can always lead to betrayal. And, betrayal, I despise with every fibre of my being. But, I must admit, I've come to rather enjoy their company. Whilst in Underbay, Danny sent some Eagle to defend me against any harm. Why would he do that? What would compel him to act so selflessly to make sure that no harm would befall me? I'm not sure, but my instincts point to the fact that maybe these people actually care about my own wellbeing. Isn't that what friends do? Ah, anyway, no point getting muddled up in all these fruitless theories. We have a job to do. When this is all said and done, I'll return to my day-to-day routine, and forget this ever happened.