Strange disappearances in Israel linked to mysterious "Death-Chair"

Recently, a series of strange disappearances have shaken up Israeli & Palestinian netizens alike; investigations by proper authorities have located the cause: a mysterious lawn chair.

[A video pans, audio of the beach waves crashing on towards the banks, seabirds above and abound chirping their sea-songs undisturbed, the center of the video as it focuses; two empty lawn chairs... and a 100-foot radius perimeter around said lawn chairs, seemingly enforced by IDF soldiers behind makeshift-concrete barriers. A reporter then walks into the frame, ready to give his testimony. A translation is unavailable; there is no transcript of the dialogue.]

"שורה של היעלמויות באזור מטרידה ותמהה רשויות וחוקרים ישראלים זה מכבר; עד עכשיו... רק לאחרונה עלה לרשת סרטון ויראלי של אדם יושב על כורסת הדשא הזה ונעלם', מה שנותן לחוקרים להסגר את האזור עד להגעת "הרשויות הנכונות"."

Just weeks prior to the event; a viral video surfaced on Cryptoleak.

[This video depicts that same beach, though much more populated and missing the perimeter, a tourist appears to be talking to his wife in Hebrew; he's on camera, he's smiling, beach-body, and he goes to sit down on the lawnchair in question... before... completely disappearing a scream. This video was taken on Instagram Live, and has since been re-uploaded to multiple sources, including Cryptoleak.] 

[If you are curious what your Contractor would know about this, please DM Badtzmaruboy through proper channels..]

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: WHO IS THE WINNER?

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: WHO IS THE WINNER?
 

WHO WON?

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE RESULTS.

SIR BENEDICT HOLLYSMITH & SANGUINE BLOODSTORM

SIR BENEDICT HOLLY SMITH, THE ESTEEMED GENTLEMAN, AND SANGUINE BLOODSTORM THE PONYCORN, RELEASED AN INTERVIEW-PODCAST TO BBC2, IN SPECIAL INTEREST PROGRAMING, IN WHICH THE TWO HELD A DISCUSSION ABOUT MAGIC, MORTALS, QUANTUMS, PARALLEL WORLDS, AND GENERAL PONYTALK... BRIEFLY SHOWING OFF TELEKINETIC ABILITIES, AND DELVING INTO AN "EQUESTRIA", THE MULTIVERSE, AND OF SCIENCE AND MAGIC... AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW. 

The Swamp Man (Monster?)

THIS VIDEO, METAL AS FUCK, SHOWCASED A BLACK AND WHITE CAMERA (NIGHTVISION); GLOWING EYES IN THE SWAMP SIDELINE BELONGING TO AN 8-9 FOOT GATOR IMMEDIATELY BEING SNUCK BY A DIFFERENT BEAST FROM BENEATH THE MURK!!! THIS BEAST, WAS MAN-SHAPED, MAN-SIZED, AND WITH THE VIGOR OF MAN WAS DEATHROLLING THE GATOR IN A BRUTAL MORTAL-KOMBAT STYLE FIGHT! THE APEX AMBUSH PREDATOR OF THE SWAMP, THE GATOR, FOUND ITSELF PREY TO THE NOW-DUBBED "SWAMP MAN"; AS THE SWAMP MAN USED A SPEAR-LIKE HAND-EXTENSION TO LAUNCH THE THING AROUND AND DEATH WRESTLE IT ABOVE, AND BENEATH, THE WATER IN A SPLASH OF GORE AND SPRAYS OF BLOOD; BEFORE DRAGGING THE GATOR'S CADAVER OFF-CAMERA AS MORE GATORS SHOWED UP... JUST AT THE EDGE OF THE CAMERA, GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER, AS THE SWAMP MAN TOOK HIS WELL-FOUGHT BOUNTY OFF-CAMERA.

Frankie Horrigan "Goon Giant" 

A NEWS BROADCAST (THROUGH HELICOPTER), MULTIPLE FIRST-HAND REPORTERS AND WITNESSES ON-SCENE, BODY-CAMERA FOOTAGE, INSIDE-BUILDING-FOOTAGE, ALL OF WHICH COMPILED TOGETHER FORMED AN EPIC NARRATIVE & COMPELLING RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK AS THE "GOON GIANT" (Now known to be Frankie Horrigan, the esteemed Chicago-Family Mobster), SHOWED UP DURING THE NEMA FIRE-FIGHT OF 2023 TO MAKE A SPLASH... AND A BIG ONE HE MADE, AS HE RESCUED RAY WEST, FATHER TO THE KAN"YE" WEST, FORMER BLACK PANTHER, ESTEEMED MILLIONAIRE, LAUNCHING HIMSELF INTO A WHOLE SKYSCRAPER, DEMONSTRATING SERIOUS SUPERNATURAL ABILITY, AND THEN RUNNING THROUGH THE NEMA AS A FIRE IN THE UPPER-MIDDLE FLOORS RAGED. THE "GOON GIANT", THE FRANKIE HORRIGAN, THEN DEMOLISHED ARMED THUGS ON HIS ASCENT, BEFORE SMASHING HIS WAY INTO THE PENTHOUSE, DISCOVERING BETWEEN THE ROOMS A SECRET CRAWLSPACE USED FOR A NOW-UNEARTHED TRAFFICKING OPERATION, AND THEN PROMPTLY USING THE LAST OF HIS CONSCIOUSNESS TO TAKE OUT THE THUGS AND RESCUE RAY WEST QUITE LITERALLY; FROM THE END FO THE LINE. NEWS COPTERS THEN CAPTURED THAT FRANKIE HORRIGAN WAS AIR-LIFTED OUT BY POLICE CHOPPERS, WITH RAY WEST, A HERO, AND A MADE MAN. 

RESULTS!

SWAMP MAN : 2.6Million views

BENEDICT & SANGUINE : 29.3Million views

FRANKIE HORRIGAN : 44.1Million views

(FRANKIE WINS)

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: RAY WEST, FATHER OF KANYE WEST, SAVED BY 'BLUE GIANT' MOBSTER FRANKIE HORRIGAN

ABC CHICAGO

BREAKING NEWS

--------------------

STARTING EARLIER THIS WEEK RAY WEST, FATHER OF KANYE WEST, WAS PRONOUNCED MISSING IN CHICAGO

HE WAS VISITING HIS LATE WIFE, "DONDA" DONNA WEST, WHEN A PREMEDITATED, PRE-PLANNED, KIDNAPPING & HOSTAGE-RANSOM OPERATION TOOK HIM BY STORM.

===============

RAY WEST FOUND HIMSELF AT THE TOP OF THE NEMA, CHICAGO, A 75-FOOT TALL BUILDING EQUIPPED WITH LUXURIES SUCH AS INDOOR-POOLS, TERRACES, OVERLOOKS OF THE ENTIRE CITY (AND EVEN THE GREAT LAKES), A STATE-OF-THE-ART SKYPIERCER WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, BECAME A TOWERING PRISON FOR THE POOR MAN.

RAY WEST'S SON, KAN"YE" WEST, FLEW IN TO ASSIST HOSTAGE NEGOTIATORS AND POLICE WHO CIRCA 6-PM LOCALTIME WERE PREPARING TO ENTER THE BUILDING, AND BEGIN NEGOTIATIONS, EVACUATIONS CARRIED OUT FOR WHO COULD BE EVACUATED IN THE LOWER FLOORS: AND ADVISORY ISSUED OTHERWISE.

IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL THOUGH, REPORTS OF A BLUE GIANT ON-SCENE STARTLED CROWDS AND PASSERBYS, WHO CAUGHT THE MAN'S ENTRANCE WITH A FEW OTHER GOONS IN SUITS; HE WAS IDENTIFIED AS FRANKIE HORRIGAN (AFTER THE FACT), CHICAGO FAMILY MOBSTER AND "GOON", AND WARNED OFF-SET BY POLICE PRESENCE. THE MOBSTER IS REPORTED, BY EYE-WITNESSES AND NEWS CHOPPERS, TO HAVE WENT INTO A NEIGHBORING HIGH-RISE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET (120 FEET AWAY, HORIZONTALLY).

SECURITY REPORTS THEY "SIMPLY MISSED THE GIANT ENTERING", CAMERA FOOTAGE SHOWS OTHERWISE AS HE QUITE LITERALLY WALKED IN, WALKED INTO THE STAIRS, SCALED 50 FLOORS IN JUST 10 MINUTES (IN A MAD DASH), AND ARRIVED AT THE TOP ROOF-ACESS; ALL WHILE BODY-CAMERA FOOTAGE FROM THE GOON GIANT HIMSELF CAPTURED THE ASCENT. HE THEN, AS A NEWS CHOPPER ANGLED IN ON HIS FIGURE, THREW A FROSTED-IBEAM ACROSS INTO THE NEMA AT THE 40TH STORY; CRASHING IT THROUGH THE BUILDING'S APARTMENT UNIT, AN UNRAVELING HIS OWN SELF AT THE SEAMS TO "FLY" WITH THE BEAM... ARRIVING IN THE NEMA.

AS HE ARRIVED IN THE NEMA, HE MADE HIS WAY THROUGH SOMEONE'S APARTMENT, YELLING AT SOME POOR MIDDLEAGED MAN TO EVACUATE AS HE, ON CAMERA, AND WITH CAMERA OF HIS OWN, SHOWCASED HIS ASCENT UP THE BUILDING; TAKING OUT TWO TERRORISTS ON THE WAY UP, AS AN UNKNOWN FIRE RAGED IN THE UPPER FLOORS.

HE THEN ATTEMPTED THE VENTS, TO NO AVAIL (SOMEHOW FINDING THE ABILITY TO SQAUSH HIMSELF DOWN TO EVEN FIT IN THE VENTS TO BEGIN WITH), BEFORE SUPER-HERO SUPER-MAN JUMPING UP THE STAIRWELL A GOOD 20-30 FLOORS... GETTING TO THE TOP PENTHOUSE FLOOR, AND BUSTING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DOORS, THROUGH THE WALLS, GETTING THE JUMP ON THE HOSTAGE-TAKERS BY USING HIS I-BEAM AS A SORT OF RIOT-SHIELD TO BLOCK THEIR BULLET BARRAGES. THE GOON GIANT, FRANKIE HORRIGAN, THEN EASILY DISPATCHED THEM WITH A CONE OF DESTRUCTION; DESTROYING THE ENTIRE EASTERN WINDOW-WALL OF THE PENTHOUSE, AND THE HOSTAGE-TAKERS, AND LEAVING JUST ONE OF THESE THUGS.

THIS THUG, HELD A PISTOL TO RAY WEST'S HEAD, WARNING HIM NOT TO APPROACH ANY CLOSER... ALL WHILE NEWS CHOPPERS, BODY-CAM, AND CAMERA, CAPTURED IT ALL, THE GOON GIANT ATTEMPTED TO REASON WITH THE HOSTAGE-TAKER BEFORE REALIZING IT WAS USELESS... APPROACHING, TERRIFYING THE MAN AND FORCING HIM OFF THE LEDGE... MANAGING TO MAKE A LAST-DITCH CATCH, DROPPING THE THUG 800 FEET WHILE SAVING RAY WEST FROM THE SAME DROP.

THE GOON GIANT THEN PASSED OUT FROM OVEREXERTION, AND BUILDING SMOKE TENSION, HAVING SAVED RAY WEST, AND MADE HIMSELF A HERO AND MADE MAN OF THE DAY... FINDING HIMSELF ESCORTED OUT AND SKY-LIFTED BY A POLICE CHOPPER.

AFTER THE FACT, KANYE WEST HAS ISSUED A STATEMENT.

===============

Kan"ye" West

---------

"That Frankie Horrigan guy's it man, He's... he's the next Big thing! Literally! I cannot give more thanks to the guy, shit, i'ma put my next song on him."

(Kanye West goes on to state how his next track, "Blue Giant", will be commemorating Frankie Horrigan)

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: 'THE SWAMP MAN' VIDEO, UNCENSORED ON CRYPTOLEAK

:CRYPTOLEAK:

:THE SWAMP MAN:

:IS HE REAL:IS HE AMONG US:

:HE IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS:HE HAS A SPEAR GUN IN HIS ARM:

:SEEN FLIPPING A GATOR:TOSSING THE GATOR IN THE AIR:

:PRESUMED HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE:CRYPTOZOOLOGISTS SAYING LOCATED IN EVERGLADES:

:PRETTY BADASS:WISH I COULD WRASSLE A GATOR LIKE THAT:

:ID HAVE A BEER WITH HIM IF HE CAN SPEAK ENGLISH:HELL YEAH BROTHER:

:VERY VIRAL:I HAVE THE UNCENSORED VERSION:

:MY MOM THREW UP WHEN SHE SAW HIM MORTAL KOMBAT THE GATOR:PLUS HE TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT:

:YEAH, TOTALLY NAKED:HELL YEAH BROTHER:

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: A SPECIAL INTEREST INTERVIEW WITH 'SANGUINE BLOODSTORM,' BY SIR BENEDICT HOLLYSWORTH

BBC TWO

An Interview with a Pony: a Special Interest Programme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

One week ago, a special interest piece was innocuously ran on the BBC Two channel - during a special segment on human interest programmes, including many interviews of people of diverse backgrounds, education, and circumstance. This week, recordings of this programme have received an incredible amount of interest - turning into a viral sensation regarding one of these interviews.

We go now to Fredrick "XTLucarioLover" Armani who is the head of the Official Sanguine Bloodstorm Discord Server.

"EQUESTRIA IS REAL. THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, IT'S REAL, AND I'M GOING THERE."

"And you felt inspired by this interview, is that right Mr. Armani?"

"Just me? Are you kidding me? Anypony who's anypony seen this - seen it and it's-it's only the biggest news in the past CENTURY. And like Benedict, like, he's british and so badass. Like steampunk, like that. It's actually a lot like my steampunk pony-"

"Which we'd love to hear about in just a moment. For our viewers, just how big a following does the Sanguine Bloodstorm Discord have?"

"Oh, um... twenty-two thousand members. And um, we're hiring mods, and if you're over 18 we've got a really good channel-"

As you can see, this interview has attracted enormous amounts of online attention. On the main BBC channel, this clip of the famous anthropologist Sir Benedict Hollysmith and his pony companion has many fields of study in a tizzy. Cryptozoologists, Quantum physicists, and Supernatural scientists trying to confirm the veracity of this supernatural creature have been in concerted effort to contact Mr. Hollysmith. Most, it seems, doubt the integrity of the programme, and a handful of hit pieces claiming to find evidence of CGI have been realeased.

Next, the weather.

Cryptoleak: "Face Fire" erupts; consuming NYC 3-story Apartment!

"NYC Face Fire"

Cryptoleak

Multiple videos are available on Cryptoleak detailing a singular event, from multiple angles, at multiple times throughout the day; Police and eye-witness-reports, as well as contextual background people(s), also serve and prove to validate that this event did infact occur, and that there were in fact.

Faces in the fire.

(Cryptoleak Symbol)

======================================================

[The Camera Footage captures a large 150-x-150feet plot of land taken up by a 3-story apartment building somewhere in NYC, though it doesn't seem to be a good part of NYC (though where is right?). The building is wrapped and enveloped in a hellish flame, there is a crowd of bystanders, and police, looking on in horror.]

[The flame seems to have faces in it, vivid, formed, faces, every face and every "Person" in the fire screaming out in hellish agony in different languages, the faces depicting people from different time periods... The videos uploaded to Cryptoleak detail the progress of the fire all the way to hour(s) after it's end... when the Apartment Building has been reduced to rubble and debris.]

The apartment building, nor any of the people in it, could be saved or recovered... the investigation is underway as the NYC Fire Department struggles to move the rubble to recover any bodies or any evidence of what may have started the fire... Authorities have released a statement that they believe it was due to old furnishings, improper old wire-work, and faulty electronics, as well as the summer dry spell. 

The Vatican has yet to make a statement.

[Photo capturing the blaze.]

(If you are curious about what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire/get involved with this event, please go through proper channels on-server)

Breaking News: DSP Standoff with Cannibal Cult!

"DSP Standoff with Cannibal Cult!"

Cryptoleak

Two men in suits and ties, black tux and all, stand in front of a camera in a dark room; their suit-and-ties read "DSP: "Fang" ", and "DSP: "Sunhunter" ", their voices are distorted and their faces are blacked out. They begin to deliver an address, through official federal-news channels; occupying a timeslot usually reserved for the morning Monday news.

[DSP Symbol]

======================================================

[The following is distorted audio garble, blurred-blacked out faces, off an official Federal program/timeslot.] 

"Citizens of the United States of America, this is a message from the Department of Supernatural Phenomena; specifically, to those living in the state of California. Agents "Sunhunter" and "Fang", we here, recently have had to conclude our investigation into a Cannibal Cult operating in the Northern Woods of California, masquerading as a small town, with termination... the cult was stockpiling firearms, explosives, chemical weapons, and as we understand as we found a manifesto, were planning to march south of I-3 to Redding and beyond; to enact a horrible plan. It with the utmost sincerity, that we at the DSP confirm; that trace elements of Supernatural origin were discovered in their safehouse... we have eliminated the cult, their enclave stronghold, and any and all traces of resistance/terror cell elements present. We understand that this event may cause hysteria, distress, or otherwise hardship for affected parties; reach out to the proper helplines and/or appropriate Federal Agencies if you would like to seek compensation or otherwise appropriate inquiry."
[The Audio-Message is preluded with video footage of a Helicopter's front-camera missile bombarding what looks to be a small middle-of-the-woods town, no larger than 1/2 of a Suburb, as well as multiple pictures and videos of body-cam footage revealing Assault Weapons, Explosives, Rocket Launchers, a mass-grave, bodies, and a manifesto detailing the cult's intention to "Consume California" in it's entirety... Disturbingly, though incredibly blurred, blacked, and edited over, some of the body-camera footage shows emaciated-white-skeletal corpses lashing out and snarling...] 

"Understand that we Agents of the DSP are here to protect the American citizen and populace from abnormal threats such as this one; this is the end of our address."

"A-Man" Illuminated?! Where is he? Who is he?

"A-Man" Illuminated! Police Encounter?!

Cryptoleak

A Frantic Tourist stands about 100-150 feet off from an encounter; its day-time, rays of sunlight beaming down, a man in baggy clothes is wrestling with a cop on the ground... a golf-cart appears to be running over what remains of a different officer, before backing up and speeding off... An old man lies dead not far-off, blood pooling from his body... a different man lies about 70-feet down the dirt road; in similar condition.

(Cryptoleak Symbol)

======================================================

[The following is a screencap of a live stream captured in the day from 100-150 feet away by a man, excited and frantic, strafing backward while giving commentary. The live stream was at 4:30 PM.]

"Holy shit... holy shit... he's wrestling that cop! Why'd he do that? he just ran at him!"

[A gunshot is heard, sparks flying off the man's chest as they continue wrestling.]

"Wait, what the fuck? He just got shot! What the-"

[He quickly zooms in, and as they wrestle a hole is visible in the man's sweater; muscular nano-fibers and metal wiring revealed to display a glowing "A" in the center of his pectorals... some sort of armor suit?]

"WOAH WHAT THE FUCK!"

[The "A-Man" arrests him, cuffing him, and arguing with the recorder as he begins to strafe further away.]

"Im not a villain, im a hero! He was breaking the law- I didn't do anything wrong!"

[The video cuts out as the "A-Man" starts the police truck.]

[Artist's Rendition of the "A-Man" suit.]

(If you are curious about what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire/get involved with this event, please go through proper channels on-server)

"Copkiller" Illuminated! Who is he?

Fugitive Illuminated!

Cryptoleak

(The following is taken from Cryptoleak, off an anonymous user who has not stepped forward..)

(Cryptoleak Symbol)

======================================================

[The following is blurry footage, more than 6 different angles, it appears to be on a night-time Highway Bridge; stalled traffic, darkness illuminated only by the occasional streetlight and starlight... multiple cars are behind, multiple cars in front, about 12 in eyeshot; the main subject though is a man wearing a jumpsuit, four police officers unholstering their handguns and cuffs as they get out of their cars and scream arrest and rights at the man, and a man on the ground; reeling from some prior injury.]

"GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT; ANY AND ALL!-"

The man in the jumpsuit, an older man, twists his hands towards the officers; wiry tendrils detaching from his forearms and violently almost hissing at them...

"WHAT THE FU-"

Almost in an instant, the Officers explode, as air coagulates around them into fire and smoke; their cars blowing up with them... shrapnel and debris flying into the air, hitting nearby cars, and obscuring the footage... as the smoke clears, all that can be seen is the man in the jumpsuit window-side; carrying the limping man with him... the same tendrils that seemingly caused the explosion seeping into his body... injecting something into him? The footage clips out as the driver(S) step on the gas, the highway clearing out. 

(Artist's rendition of what "Copkiller" looked like).

The individual in question has entered the interwebs as "The Copkiller" or simply "Copkiller"... no-doubt investigations are already under way as Authorities are offering up to 100,000$ for information contributing or leading up to the arrest of the Copkiller... or his companion.

(If you are curious about what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire/get involved with this event, please go through proper channels on-server)

The Red Creed; Cult Illuminated!

The Red Creed Illuminated!

Cryptoleak

(The following is taken from Cryptoleak, off an anonymous user who has not stepped forward..)

(The Symbol, of the "Red Creed")

======================================================

[A Garbled distorted voice begins to read out information, addressing the viewer and beginning to pull up related images and pictures.]

"Hello, my name is not important but it is the information I have that matters. I have come apon information that may be of interest to some of you; to others, you will scroll by and go on with your day: I know how you all operate."

"The Red Creed is a small-time small-town cult operating in Middle America, I will not discern where they operate as I do not believe in inciting violence or giving any of you Illuminators an easy mark; may the best find them, regardless..."

[A Video begins to play, from a low-floor angle depicting a seminar circle of six figures hooded in red and gold glided robes. They appear to be surrounding a naked woman... one of them produces a dagger, their faces shrouded in darkness, plunging it into the woman's forehead... as it does this, red scars open up all over the woman's body... a hundred eyes blinking at once, tendrils lashing out from each of them as they open... the footage cuts.]

"You may interpret the footage as you wish, Goodbye." 

[A series of different horrifyingly realistic depictions of tendrils-eyes flash before the video, 100 in a second, before the sound of a camera's shutter snapping ends the video.]

(If you are curious what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire / get involved with this event, please go through proper-channels on-server)

Freak Home Invasion! 3 Missing.

Suspected Kidnapping leaves 3 Missing.

LA, California; Valley Oak Drive. 

(The following is a news report delievered through California broadcasting, a minor crime report in a list of many, many others.)

======================================================

[Reporter] "Authorities have authorized us to uh, say the following about what is believed to be what happened down at Valley Oak Drive, just about last week last friday... Authorities have concluded that the camera footage had been deleted, and the toll-guard; a "Mr Brown" is also missing... thought to be connected to the whole ordeal."

He clears his throat.

[Reporter] "Yes well, on to it then, the home in question; owned by an notorious conspirator and even more infamous "Netizen" "Illuminator", seems to have been raided by a trained team of what authorities believe are 4-8 men... each one armed with an ASSAULT RIFLE"

He makes sure to pronounce that part, clearly.

[Reporter] "Full plate-carrier MILITARY gear, ASSAULT RIFLE, 30-ROUND MAGAZINES, shell-casings identified on the floor as well as telltale traces of a shootout in the home... and strangely... glow stick necklaces? Authorities also found trace amounts of methamphetamine, and medical supplies, though no bodies have been discovered."

The screen begins to fill with different infographics and a graphic organizer timeline.

[Reporter] "Authorities found their vehicles, two unmarked white vans, parked right outside the home... the drivers have not been identified, the vehicles are stolen, and not one body has turned up... though forensics has turned up information on who the potential victims or assailants are; though we have not been provided that information yet."

The reporter kind of gives a conclusive statement, before ending the anecdote.

[Reporter] "We ask that anyone with information step forward and call [THIS NUMBER], there is a financial incentive to doing so and any information leading to the arrest and/or completion of this case and incident will be met with an award of up to 50,000$. Thank you California, goodnight." 

(If you are curious what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire / get involved with this event, please go through proper-channels on-server)

San Jon, New Mexico: Burglary leaves 6 dead, Startling discovery in storage!

"San Jon's Startling Steal!" 

The newsman addresses himself as

"Today it's Kenny, and this is Morning News!"

After weather and everything, Kenny's segment comes on where he delves into a local incident in New Mexico's sleepy little San Jon.

======================================================

 Late last Saturday, it appears that a man who has been identified as r/Anime Reddit Moderator & beloved 34-yr old son "Kam Travers" arrived armed to a local scrapyard in San Jon with weaponry purchased online. Thought now to be amongst a new wave of violent "Illuminators" seeking out the Supernatural and the constant clout that comes with it, Kam took it upon himself to act supposedly on rumors and impulse; destroying the camera console of the car-service-&-storage center's completely and immediately taking to violence on local employees.

It's believed that Kam was not acting alone, though no suspects could be identified at the time; only reports of a "blood-covered bullet-riddled white guy" running across the nearby interstate. Kam, along with the five victims, were found emaciated, torn to shreds, and blasted to bits, in a bloody and horrendous display outside storage unit #1.

Storage unit #1 / 3 was revealed to be full of bones, mostly animal bones, others unidentifiable at the moment, in what can only be described as some sort of abstract avant-garde occult art display; the remains of a strange animal were found nearby which authorities have proclaimed is actually a large coyote. 

(Kam, as pictured above)

[AUDIO LOG]

[An Indian man with a light accent, maybe in his 50s]

"These three guys they come in, they buy my food, one guy is dressed in full like; the ancient armor: like in 300! The other guy is some weird smelly ugly person, the other guy is this white guy... I didn't get their names or anything but I'm sure the one was him. I don't know anything else."

[A random 30-something]

"I was driving down the Interstate and I saw this guy running across it with a duffelbag, all blood-covered, from the service center. I was like; what the hell? To be honest I honked at him and he kept coming, dude jumped in front of my car, and kept running... I thought he was crazy I mean, he had those eyes you know... bullet-covered, holes in his shirt, blood-covered, I just... my first thought was to get away so I kept going.

[Log cuts out]

Police are investigating the crime, particularly attempting to pinpoint and identify who the still-living suspect may be; their connection to the crime, Kam, and possible motives. Our condolences go out to the victim(s), and their families.

Cash Reward, up to 1000$ for information contributing to/leading up to the arrest and conviction of the suspect.

(If you are curious what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire / get involved with this event, please go through proper-channels on-server)

Louisville's Newest Serial Killer?

"Louisville's newest Serial Killer?!"

The newsman announces himself as

"This is Micheal, and today with Breaking News!"

He delievers the following; infographics and hotlines showing up throughout, as well as advertisements.

======================================================

Late into the afternoon, folks living out of Southern Parkland's Cypress Street say they witnessed a white man, about medium height; average build and face, pull up in a truck outside of the first victim's home. The man seemed to play knock-knock ditch with the man, before disappearing to his yard, then reappearing having produced a gun; before pulling the gun on the owner as soon as he opened the door.

At that point, residents retreated indoors only to hear a series of gunshots preluded by argument coming from inside the home. After about half a minute, residents heard the sound of the man's truck speeding away; unfortunately, no one caught his license plate. 

Authorities arrived some twelve minutes later to discover the home's owner, a 28 Jose Rodrigo, shot dead behind a couch; still clutching a "ghost" glock-18. 

Authorities believe that the killing was either drug and/or gang-related; as Jose Rodrigo was involved in the local sale and distribution of a numerable amount of substances; including, but not limited to, Methamphetamine, Marijuana, Opioids, and fentanyl. Jose Rodrigo was also believed to have been involved with a local neighborhood Parkland set known as the "Juarez Brothers", though no member of the "Juarez Brothers" has come forward nor has any member of opposing sets come forward to take credit for the killing.

[AUDIO LOG]

[A old man.]

"I was on my porch... And I saw this guy... and... and... I saw him pull out a gun, so I went inside; next thing I hear there's shots! Shots! Come to Cypress street, 1339, their shooting out there! The guy is driving away, he's in a truck! I don't remember the color..."

[Log cuts out]

Police also report that a still-living victim has been identified across town, a 70-year-old man with glass-wounds in his back; and severe internal bleeding from a brutal beatdown, just 8 minutes away from the incident. Thankfully, a gracious passerby alerted locals to the presence of the man in the alleyway; allowing AMR to arrive in time to save his life; though strangely, police remark that a call placed from his phone was placed to Jose Rodrigo, who died just a short 12-something minutes after the call was placed...

Police believe the two are connected. 

Cash Reward, up to 1000$ for information contributing to/leading up to the arrest and conviction of the suspect.

(If you are curious what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire / get involved with this event, please go through proper-channels on-server)

Cuttyhunk Island closed! 3-car crash leaves 8 Dead, 2 Missing.

In other news...

Cuttyhunk Island closed; tip from lone investigative prompts an investigation from Massachusetts coast guard... their findings may shock you!

==========================================================

Massachusetts Coast Guard operating in the Elizabeth Isles, just off the coast of New Bedford, Massachusetts, were shocked when late one Saturday Summer night they received a tip from an anonymous investigative about a freak 3-car crash on the Island of Cuttyhunk (Unusual, for an Island on which there was only four vehicles total). 

Authorities arrived at midnight, discovering the bodies of 8/10 of the Local year-round population of Cuttyhunk smoldering away in a three-way car collision just off the west end of the Island; submerged into the forest. Said bodies were charred beyond recognition, due to a car fire that started as a result of the crash; the two missing locals have not yet been found, however, are believed to be suspects at-large. 

Unfortunately, the Fish Festival has been canceled and Cuttyhunk Island has been closed for this Summer, and likely, many Summers to come. 

Here's what tourists on the Island, the day of the accident, had to say about that day's events.
[VOICE RECORDINGS]

Tourist A: "Well, I was just trying to get a day at the beach and this like tweaked-out crackhead kept drilling me.. I think he wanted me to buy drugs from him or something. I saw some other guys but, that was probably the weirdest guy I met."
Tourist B: "Huh? Yeah, I saw some stuff. I saw this chick pulling this golf-cart out of the parking lot and some crazy lunatic jumped towards it; he totally got slammed back! Crazy shit is... he got back up and just kept moving."
Tourist C: "I dunno, I was on the Ferry that day and I saw this real ugly guy... real big, had a boat, was followin' the Ferry and then some college-chick jumped onto his boat and he like caught her... I think they were doing some sort of TikTok or something?"
Tourist D: "Some tweaked out lunatic was trying to sell me and my bros some drugs... but we love God! and we don't mess with that devil's lettuce; UMASS! UMASS!"

============================

If you have any information regarding the case, please report it to 
[ANONYMOUS TIP LINE] 

If you would like to inquire about what your Contractor knows about this, or otherwise, please go through proper channels on-server.

Breaking News: National Automobile Museum Robbed! Iconic one-of-a-kind "Flying Wombat" Missing!

June 10th 2023

"Reno Robbery"

An eager and painfully generic anchorwoman, addressing herself with a

"My name's Clara, and this is Breaking News!"

Greets the camera with a smile, as she begins her report.

======================================================

Residents staying in a hotel complex a block off from Reno Nevada's National Automobile Museum, a popular tourist attraction and staple of Downtown Reno, reported late the night of June 9th hearing "Bursts of cracking booms" rolling out from the museum next door. That hotel, the "Renaissance Reno" as locals call it, overlooks the National Automobile Museum and is less than a minute's walk from the establishment.

Preceding the gunshots though, residents report that the connective service of the building cut out for "About an hour" prior to the event... and proceeding the gunshots, attempts to call the police proved useless: though it was unnessecary as the museum itself was a block away from the Reno Police Department.

Overnight officers report that their communications were jammed, resulting in a slow-response, late by only a minute to discover the museum had been broken into from the western-back-exit; the fencelock cut apart by force, a side-door picked, and the garage door of the 1940s car hall opened from the inside.

Police have gathered from one of two Security Guards, one of which is in a catatonic state and recovering... unfrotunately crippled, the other the source of this information, the following:

[AUDIO LOG]

[The Voice of a 40-something graveled smoker, white, vaugely Hispanic inflection.]

"Me and Buckard were doing our rounds... Cameras went out a good five minutes before they came in, our phones too, everything we had on us... cept' our guns. I went to watch the front, Buck the front back, we heard them breakin' in and tried to jump em' but this... this guy."

[Short pause, followed by a deep breathe]

"He was wearing a collared shirt, old suit and tie, suspenders and the slacks; he looked like a fucking casino guy... like from the movies! I had my taser' out and I took a shot and he ducked it, then before I could get my pistol out of the holster he tossed somethin' from his sleeves... before I knew it, my right leg wasn't working and I couldn't stand. thats when I saw what he had tossed, right on the ground, an Ace of spades card."

[Longer pause, coughing.]

"He didn't kill me, thank god, but I yelled for my buddy to watch out and that he was dangerous and tried to radio... didn't work... he backed off then skulked away and next thing I hear's six shots... then my buddy, Buckard, hitting the floor. I hear two voices, one's that jugador, other one's an older guy... last thing I hear before I wakeup with the police in the hospital's sirens...

[Log cuts out]

Police report that while alive, the other guard; one 34, Buckard Henry, has yet to awaken and has suffered critical lacerations to both his legs... perfectly-carved slices, disabling his muscle-groups and severing the nerves in his upper legs... completely crippling him forever. 

The other guard has asked to not be named, but has stated that he will be working with Police to identify the suspect and create a police sketch. Police report that an investigation is underway and that they have found a calling card: 

An Ace of Spades, embedded into the Fence the robbers escaped through.

The robbery though was stopped rather early it seems... with police presence closing in it seems that the robbers had only enough time to steal and fixup the one-of-it's-kind Phantom Corsair, otherwise known as "The Flying Wombat", an ancient prototype from the 40s and a collector's classic piece... the only of it's kind in the world.

[Pictured above, the "Phantom Corsair" on it's pedestal previously, in the National Automobile Museum.]

Police have named the principal suspect, the card-toting fancy-dressed robber: El Jugador; or "The Gambler". Police believe the man possesses some combination of supernatural ability, or technology, allowing him to have carried out the robbery... police also believe he has an accomplice who he works with.

Nevertheless, the National Automobile Museum and it's benefactors have collaborated with the Police Department, issuing a statement that they will be offering a cash reward of up to 25,000 for information regarding the robbers, and leading / contributing to the arrest of said robbers. The only known description provided was that it was a man wearing "Old Gambler Attire", who seemed to carry cards around with him.

Cash Reward, up to 25,000$ for information contributing to/leading up to the arrest and conviction of "El Jugador"

(If you are curious what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire / get involved with this event, please go through proper-channels on-server)

KGO-7 (ABC) : Freak Break In at Child Services Center in Redding!

Freak Break in at Child Services Center in Redding! Investigation underway

The following represents a small anecdotal statement released by News Outlets / Anchors for the first week of the month. 

==========================

Police in Redding, CA, has issued a statement regarding the recent scene at the Veronica Child Services Center, releasing only that an investigation has long since begun and is underway, and that they have acquired important evidence for the aforementioned investigation.

Police release that they have already, apprehended a suspect, and questioning is underway. 

Admittedly, it is a grisly scene and it is always tragic when the youthful children of America are targeted for such heinous crimes against Humanity, Law Enforcement ensures us, the public, that security is coming... and that whoever is responsible for this will face The Law.

KGO-7 (ABC) : Mass shooting in Callahan! Dozen(s) confirmed dead.

Dozen(s?) confirmed dead in Callahan after mass "shooting"

Coverage on the incident is sparse due to a reported lack of cooperation from local state and/or federal authority presiding over the incident, as well as uncomprising locals who "wish to just be left alone"... the following article is comprised of testimonials, on-site witnesses / personell, and other adjacent parties.

==========================

A smiling reporter greets the audience, no doubt watching from phone or off their televisions, with the morning news... this time, breaking news, though all news these days seems to be breaking.

She's wearing a nice blouse, red suit top and bottom combo, black hair in a needled bun, she's asian... vaugely Chinese or Vietnamese, she gives a plastic smile as she delievers her usaul report.

"Another tragic mass shooting on American Soil today, as our reporters, and many other, have responded to reports of an alleged mass shooting in Callahan... police and federal presence, a police statement, as well as a very helpful testimony from a local resident, have come together to confirm such a tragedy has occured... May god have grace apon the townspeople, the victims, and their families."

The reporter's screen transitions to the testimonies.

==========================

A testimony from a nearby resident who will remain anonymous, right behind a brown wooden door... no markings are evident, be it a house number or otherwise, or anything identifying.

"Just a sentence right? I get paid for this- Okay alright simmer down so... *Ahem* it was mid-day when we heard these booming shots so I locked all my doors, shut my blinds, and hid upstairs cause' this kind of shit donesn't happen up here... Everyone knows eachother and we're all friendly but I guess it happened right down in the middle of the road... next thing I know I hear's more gunshots but these didn't sound like gunshots it was real weird-like... next couple of hours is more of the same, I hear sirens, cars, then comin' from the police station later I hear some more shots... It's all so horrible really, whole day, was too afraid to even go outside... That all? Can I get my money no-" 

A statement from a local Deputy who'se been given permission to issue information to the news, he's a forty-smoething, straight-laced, typical North California Resident; "White and Right"... looks like a carbon cutout of a cop.

"Right folks so here we've got a tragedy on American soil, I won't be giving out any details as per operation-security and for care of the families of the victims but it is infact, a mass shooting. We've got just about a dozen dead here, including fellow officers, so we're real buzy and hard at work and we're asking that nobody come on down' here to make our, or the victims', lives any harder... reminder that impeding investigation's a crime, obstruction of justice, and we will be chargin' anyone of you Cryptoleak folks with that if you come down here and pull your usaul shenaniganry... and for you shooters' out there watchin, we will get you... just you wait, nasty fucks."

A zealous delivery, for sure, a true justicar of the law this man seems to be.

==========================

The reporter returns to address the audience, straightening her tie.

"Unfortunately not much information is available on this developing investigation as it is being kept very close to the chest, we are sure that the public will be made aware of any developments however...".)

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

JPM Tweet ignites a 8 hour long twitter war!

Consipiracy theorist's, trolls and political twitter accounts. The three groups are fighting over this tweet vying for supremacy, the conspiracy theorists beleive JPM just publicly admitted to being a super hero, god knows what the political accounts are doing and the trolls are busy gaslighting the shit out of the schizos using this tweet, and the war is getting increasingly violent and extreme. The war is likely to continue for some time, and it is not clear who will win. The twitter war is a serious and dangerous conflict, and it is important for people to be aware of what is happening so that they can avoid getting caught up in the fighting themselves. This is a massive moshpit of the not so greatest minds on the internet.

To any mentally stable indivisual it is clear that The construction agency that JPM was mentioning is his construction company that specializes in building and renovating commercial and residential properties. The company has been in business for not too long but has built a reputation for quality work and excellent customer service.


"The theory is that there are several superheroes who are working secretly for the government. They are doing secret missions for the government, and the government is funding them. The government is using these superheroes to advance their own agenda, and it is believed that the superheroes are being used for more nefarious purposes than just fighting crime. There is a lot of speculation about what the government is actually doing with these superheroes, and many people believe that the superheroes are being used to spy on the American people." -Schizoid

Lombard Shooting Principal Suspect Shot Dead at Coit Tower! Officers say... "He resisted arrest."

Lombard Shooting Principal Suspect Shot Dead at Coit Tower! Officers say... "He resisted arrest."

Two San Francisco PD Officers in charge of supervising & securing Coit Tower for the day-of the Lombard Shooting report that a man covered in blood & viscera showed up, attempted to cooerce them, was arrested, and then during the arrest attempted to stab an Officer only to be put down due to frequent resist of arrest, and threat of harm to the two Officers.

==========================

"We told him multiple' times you see', we told him not to resist, we read his rights, we didn't think someone like that'd show all willy nilly' out of nowhere right? So when we arrested him, he slipped out' the cuffs a few times, tried to headbutt me, so I punched him back... Kept slipping out, and then tried to stab me and wrestle for my gun so we had to shoot... we tried using nonlethal force but the sucker just ate the taser like it was nothing... ate Mace to the eyes... we had to, we were concerned for our safety."

Officers Marley Cooper, and Leonard Goreman, report that body-camera footage is not available as "It happened so suddenly, we weren't expecting this at all... heat of the moment" ... San Francisco PD has yet to make an official statement regarding the event but has confirmed that after careful examination and forsenics of Evidence, including but not limited to spent shells and ammo... and matching it up to a car found just outside the crime-scene.... and existing video-media.... That the deceased suspect is infact, the Lombard Shooter.

The Suspect has been identified as Grimm Black, a member of the prestigious Black Family known for their cooperation with Law Enforcement and operation of PMC Company "Black Flag" which sees frequent deployment and cooperation with US Military  overseas, and on the border. 

The Black Family head, "Grand Black", long-time US War Veteran & former Special Operations, has commented that Grimm was ostracized from the family due to business, and political disputes, and that amongst the evidence is a "Prototype weapon" belonging to the Black Family that he'd like to see returned.

Breaking News: San Francisco, CA, "Mass Hysteria" in Lombard Street! Vigilante Mass Shooter spotted fleeing the scene!

Mass Hysteria in San Francisco's Lombard Street! Vigilante Mass Shooter spotted fleeing the scene, likely at-large and on-the-lam!

Camera-footage from local residents, as well as somewhat blurry first-hand videos, show graphic content depicting a tactically-oriented man opening fire on a mob of unarmed civillians who attempt to restrain, and grab him... before fleeing.

==========================

The Camera pans in around the early morning, as an anchorwoman gives her report on the situation... She is maybe in her early thirties, auburn long hair, black blazer and suit blouse, she stands with a somber look on her face behind a modern-looking desk... An infographic plays behind her detailing various HELP lines, contact numbers, and other resources.

She gives her address, as images appear on-screen and Footage showing cars slamming by, and mobs of people running about in a "Drugged Unison"  cuts out to then depict, from multiple angles, footage of a man tearing through the mob with shotgun fire.

"First I would like to give my condolences and respect to the Victims, and the Families of the Victims... for privacy-reasons, their identities have been concealed as the FBI have begun collaborating with local Police to investigate and look into the tragedy & associated massarce."

The Footage is notably low-resolution and shaky... the Man's face can barely be made out, it appears to be a White Man of above-average height wearing tactical gear, wielding a Shotgun, yada-yada... no identifying features stand out.

The Camera pans to show the Crime-Scene, multiple chalk-outlines, and both Police and FBI personel on-scene collecting evidence and securing the area. Before panning to a on-site reporter.

"I have been allowed by the Authorities to disclose that the entire block is being closed off for investigation... this investigation will likely close out through the month... they've declared that their not ruling anything out as Evidence... They believe the event's origin is the Bobasaurus Boba Spot and that the event could be a result of severe mass-drugging and drug-induced Mass Hysteria-"

A Man-in-black type then takes the microphone away as he walks up, and gives a closing address as he puts his finger on the camera and microphone.

"That's quite enough, we'll get to the bottom of this. Good day, all."

The footage cuts out, as the Anchorwoman appears again.

"Okayyy, well... Onto other news-"

(If you have any Contractors who you believe to be involved, or are interested in getting involved, please go through proper channels on-server.)

Vice News: Eli Marsden & The "Corn Cult"... "Contractor" Conspiracy!

Vice News Crime Journalist Eli Marsden inflitrates "Cult of the Corn"... uncovers "Contractor" Conspiracy.

Publicly released footage details journalist Eli Marsden and his harrowing Supernatural saturday-night encounter... FBI & DSP steps in not long after... mere Conspiracy, or the start of a truth unraveling?

==========================

Over the course of the last few months certain footage detailing Eli Marsden's first hand account of his Saturday-night trip have been making the rounds through the usaul channels, Cryptoleak, Tiktok, Instagram, Reddit, it's all over the place... any occultist worth their salt and just about anyone with an interest in phenomenoa or the spectacle have seen the video.

To preface, we at Vice News employed Eli Marsden through his extensive career of Crime Journalism, particularly with the Sinaola Cartel which operates just south of the US-Mexico Border, and with African American & Asian street gangs down in LA... this though, this was something we did not employ, and we did not sanction, this was off-the-record and something we have no knowledge of: It's an independant project.

In Chronological order, the Footage shows Eli Marsden sitting in a Starbucks eavesdropping on what he believed to be a Mob Initation, the audio is unclear but its been pieced together by sleuths to be a drop-off ride-share type request... which Eli then jacks.

The Footage pans to an antique car, and equally as antique chaffeur, waiting in the driver-side and nodding to Eli... it then cuts after long shots of the California road & highwaylines, wilderness. The Footage comes back with a pan of what can only be described as a "Children of the Corn" style Farm & Barn surrounded by a cornfield ripe with glowing green fireflies... it's only retreat being a forest path shrinking off into the distant skyline past the hilly valley.

The Footage then shows Eli, and two other individuals who have been blured and who'se audio has been distorted, one "Lunatic" wearing a garb characteristic of that of a mental patient, and another more "Lab" looking character... the former being male, the latter female.

The Chaffeurs then give a short speech in unanimous eerie fashion, dropping information about a "Rite of Passage", refering to the individuals present as "Contractors", and giving a very Young Adult Novel type briefing... before ending their own lives as a sendoff.

The footage continutes to show investigation of a wholfully ripped up House, dysfunctional and emptied of furnishing, an Attic containing Family Photos of the same Family over the course of 200 years... seemingly dated back to the 1800s, wearing Celtic Cultic Ornamentry.and a few abstract uncanny-valley style paintings bearing strange messages on the back.

Regardless the group continutes to the barn where they are ambushed by strange twine-vine-covered skeletons bearing farm equipments and glowing green jack'o'lanterns for heads, the source of the light... and one of their's impending doom.

Prefacing that, brief investigation reveals to that the place houses slaughtered animals... As the ambush occurs, Eli and another climb up a ladder the Lunatic broke off it's hinges before the two make it out through the Hayloft window, onto the roof, and run to escape through the off-path as dozens, to hundreds, of the Jacks surround the barnhouse..

The Footage cuts off as the screams of the Lunatic echo through the audio, as it cuts in with Eli vaulting across a Bramble obstruction and eventaully arriving to a Trucking road.

The family has not yet been identified, and the location as well as the general area have not yet been uncovered as the place has become a site of investigation by the FBI, DSP, and adajacent agencies. We've been asked by the FBI & DSP to forewarn any sleuths to looking into it, as interference is at this point a Federal Crime.

Reception online has been mostly mixed, and the Illumination status is a little under the "Debated" threshold as there are not multiple hand reports, no witnesses have come forward, there only exists one source; Eli, who since his appearance on the Tonight Show has remained silent.

The usaul suspects have gotten to proclaiming this a new-age conspiracy truth, akin to the "Illuminati" and "Shadow Government", Strangely enough the same individuals have begun pointing out numerous celeberties to be "Contractors" as well... to not much fanfare. The Federal Government has gotten involved though, but reason suggests that this is not because of actaul supernatural phomenoa or real based conspiracy, but actaully to control panic, public hysteria, and other events typically associated with Illuminations and/or "Fear Mongering" footage.

^ A typical tweet online referencing the event.

Regardless, here is a transcript of Eli Marsden's last report of the event before going silent online, below.

The Interview (The Tonight Show)

1. : Welcome everyone, we have a very special guest with us today, put your hands together for the man of the hour Mr. Eli Marsden.
2. [The studio audience goes wild as Eli walks onto the stage]
3. Host: It's great to have you with us Eli.
4. Eli: It's great to be here.
5. [both men exchange a firm handshake]
6. Host: So, how are you doing today.
7. Eli: Pretty well, considering the circumstances.
8. Host: Yes the circumstances, how exactly does one end up in an occult initiation ceremony anyways?
9. Eli: Honestly, sheer dumb luck ...
10. Host: Good luck or bad luck.
11. [Eli laughs]
12. Eli: Well I'm still here.
13. Host: Sorry, go on.
14. Eli: So I was sitting at a table at my favourite coffee shop, the entire place empty except me and the man sitting at the next table when this guy shows up, sits down at the other guy's table and starts talking to him, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation, and honestly, it sounded like a mob recruitment pitch.
15. Host: But it wasn't.
16. Eli: No. So I hear something about some kind of “job” saying that a driver would be here to pick him up and then the recruit got up and said he needed to think about it and disappeared, probably to the restroom. I got curious and went outside and lo and behold there was this relic of a vehicle sitting there.
17. Host: Uh, huh.
18. Eli: And the driver nodded to me, I think that he mistook me for the recruit. So I went “Fuck it” and got in.
19. Host: You just got in?
20. Eli: Yup, I don't know what I was thinking, but you don't end up in my line of work by being overly cautious.
21. [Audience laughs]
22. Eli: So then there was the drive, I don't know if you've ever been in a car for twelve hours straight, but it's awful, especially when there's nothing to drink but hard liquor and nothing to eat but crackers.
23. Host: Hard liquor and crackers?
24. Eli: Yeah, I don't really know why, maybe they're part of the ritual. You never know with the supernatural.
25. [Host laughs]
26. Host: No you don't.
27. Eli: So then I got there, and there were two other identical cars with two other identical drivers with two other “Aspirants”.
28. Host: And the drivers gave that speech of theirs, “Sacred Right of Passage”, “Secure you a place among the Chosen”, “Gain powers beyond your current imaginings”, really spooky shit, that is.
29. Eli: Yeah, but first they pulled a lever that made the cars completely inoperable, spiking the engine, stripping the transmission, puncturing the gas line. Honestly, it reminded me of a tank crew sabotaging their tank to prevent their enemy from using it against them. I've never seen anything like it in either a civilian or criminal context.
30. Host: And then they gave their little speech and shot themselves.
31. Eli: Yeah, three identical men spoke and acted in unison before saluting and shooting themselves. Honestly, I'm not sure they were even human.
32. [Host leans forward]
33. Host: Not human? What do you think they were then?
34. [Eli shrugs]
35. Eli: I haven't the faintest clue. I investigate organized crime, not the supernatural.
36. Host: Well, I guess that's just another thing for our internet sleuths to investigate.
37. Eli: Then the three of us went into the house. It was completely empty, no appliances, furniture or anything. There wasn't even dust. And of course there wasn't water or electricity or gas.
38. Host: There wasn't anything but in the attic?
39. Eli: I'm getting to that, so after checking the first and second floor, we went up to the attic.
40. Host: Where the paintings were?
41. Eli: Yes, along with the box of photos that I have already posted online.
42. Host: The ones with the weird amulet things?
43. Eli: It's not that weird, it's a shield knot, a common Celtic symbol thought to bring protection and is associated with the Cross. Although one of the Aspirants was really concerned about them, kept muttering about whether it was a holy symbol or not, it was weird.
44. Host: Was this the dead guy or the other guy.
45. Eli: The dead guy. Honestly, the kid was the strangest person I have ever met. He was wearing a mental hospital uniform and a balaclava, weighed at most 70 pounds and was talking about fairies coming to get him.
46. Host: Odd.
47. Eli: Yes very. So then we went to check out the barn.
48. Host: The infamous barn.
49. Eli: Yes, so the first thing that stuck out was the stench, the stench of death. I've been to a couple of mass grave sites, and that smell is something you can never forget.
50. Host: From the dismembered animals.
51. Eli: Yes. So I inspected the area and took pictures of the carnage, before finding an area of soft ground. Unfortunately there wasn't anything around to dig with so I had to use my hands. I only had enough time to partially uncover the grave, before the things showed up.
52. Host: The Jack O Scarecrows?
53. [Eli sighs]
54. Eli: Yes, that is what the internet has taken to calling them. So they showed up and all three of us fled to the hayloft, of course that mas made harder by fairy kid somehow breaking the rungs of the ladder on his way up.
55. Host: He broke the ladder? How?
56. [Eli sighs]
57. Eli: Fuck if I know. By all accounts it didn't make sense. So there we were, up in the hayloft with only a bunch of cardboard boxes and a birdcage containing a raven of all things. None of us knew what to do, and more of the things kept showing up until there was a small horde of them at both the base of the ladder and outside the window. Fairy kid was doing something with the boxes, I don't know what. Then I managed to climb on to the top of the barn. That's where I took those pictures of the mass of the things.
58. Host: Yes, those famous pictures, the internet has gone wild.
59. Eli: Then fairy kid jumped out of the window ...
60. Host: Oof
61. Eli: Yeah, so this scrawny nutty kid – who by the way, is carrying the birdcage – runs into the cornfields, taking several nasty hits from farm implements.
62. Host: And then he died?
63. Eli: And then he died. I had jumped off the barn roof and was running into the forest when it happened, but there's no mistaking that scream.
64. Host: And then.
65. Eli: Well, I ran like hell, jumped over a thorn hedge and eventually found my way to the Interstate. From there I hitchhiked to civilization and started writing my article.
66. Host: Any chance you tell us what Interstate that was?
67. Eli: Not a snowball's chance in hell. I'm not going to be responsible for a bunch of reckless “parawatchers” getting themselves killed. Anyways, I don't want to piss off the FBI, I just had a five-hour-long interview with them yesterday where they made it abundantly clear that I was not allowed to reveal the location where it happened.
68. Host: Unfortunate. Well, everyone, that's all the time we have today, give a large round of applause for Eli Marsden.
69. [Both men get up to thunderous appause]
70. Host: It has been a pleasure having you with us today Eli.
71. Eli: It's been a pleasure to be here.
72. [Both men shake hands before Eli walks off the stage]
73. Host: Well in other news ...

Conclusion

Eli Marsden has since been laid off and terminated from work at Vice News for what has been decided to be a "Gross attempt at Fear Mongering" and for performing what we, at Vice News, have decided is essentially "Promotion Material" for an upcoming film and movie series which has been confirmed and greenlit by Scott Derrickson (Director of 2012 Horror Film Sinister).

The Footage itself is very entertaining to watch, however, and can be described as likely being an attempt at a new artform and medium known as "Analog Horror" which has begun interesting fanatics online... The Footage itself though, is debatable at best and until further evidence is released (Such as new reports, second-hand accounts of the event and/or location, yada-yada)... the people, remain skeptical.

Eli Marsden though, has remained silent since his appearance on the Tonight Show... as his ten minutes of fame begin to expire.

(If you have any Contractors who you believe to be involved, or are interested in getting involved, please go through proper channels on-server.)

Breaking News: Rachel, Nevada, RAZED!

Breaking News: Rachel Nevada Razed

Reporters on the scene.

(Brought to you by: Fox news) 

A reporter sits infront of the camera, behind a large waist-high cubicle-desk. The reporter, a woman looking to be about mid-20s to early 30s, keeps her long black hair secured and tied back in a nice bun. She's wearing a plaid blazer laid over a white collared shirt w/ a blue tie, the top of what looks to be a black skirt-blouse barely peeking over the desk. She collects her thoughts for a bit, as she then gives her address, supported by infographics and skilled live-edits. 

"Alright so here with the Morning News... Nevada Authorities have arrived to the scene of Rachel, a small road-side attraction "Tourist Trap" renown for it's "Alien" presence and themed store / motel-6 style lodging... Well, it used to be renown for that."

The Editors push on-screen a look-over of Rachel, Nevada.

It's incredibly small, it's population is in the double-digits, and it's barely even a town... only a cenus-designated place. It's only major buildings are a very jerry-rigged Gas Station, a minuscule motel-6 with few rooms, and a nearby diner-resturant... however the photos are dated and old as new installments show that most of the place has been razed to the ground... smoldering scorch-marks and fire-touched-ruins appearing on-screen... as well as shell casings and obivous bullet-holes scattered about.

"It appears yesterday afternoon between the hours of... Authorities report from 1:00 PM onwards... that the place was ran-through by somewhat heavy arnament... The motives are unclear, and witnesses are sparse... Smouldering scorch marks and bullet-cases indicate a very well-armed assailant... or multiple... as well as tire-skids and other tells pointing to similar circumstance. The bodies of the unfortunate victims have not yet been discovered, though evidence of there being perhaps bodies has, and with what we're allowed to disclose: it seems that Nevada Authorities have begun working with the Federal Government to investigate this case further."

The Anchorwoman is then joined by a nicely-suited-up Man in Black wearing shades, a white dress shirt and black tie, and bearing a FBI-DSP Badge: ID'ing himself as "Agent Hotspot" , Underneath the get-up he seems to be a generic-looking white man with short brown hair barely peeking past his ears.

"That's right, of course we here at the Government are only concerned about the safety and well-being of citizens and... with the arnaments we expect having been used, we think that there is some supernatural sheniganry involved. If you, or anyone you know, have any tips on who might be responsible: please call [RESOURCE LINES] or text [RESOURCE LINES] or refer to your local Government FBI &/or DSP Bureau Building, thank you Citizens. Continute on."

"Authorities have not yet apprehended a suspect... or any witnesses, unfortunately, as none have come forward. As Agent Hotspot has said though, please reach out if you have any information on this developing story... Onto later news: It seems that the recent "Sanctuary Tape" has been greenlit for a feature-length-film-production!"

(If you are curious as to what your Contractor would know about this world event, or are interested in getting involved, please go through proper channels on-server.)

Skeleton in Court?

Twitter would see a bunch of posts and tabloids about a "Skeleton in Court" around Yolo County's Woodland City (Literally named Woodland) up in Northern Central Valley California.

These appear to be a bunch of random statements from a few individuals who claim that a "Skeleton" was taken into court and speak on the Skeleton's "Lunacy" and his wild and bizarre claims of the Supernatural and Fairies as well as vague men in suits.

While most of this can be attributed to trolling and simple sheniganry, the volume of people who claim to have seen this skeleton, as well as Police Officers, and witnesses of the "Skeleton", lend credibility to the claim that for the first time in history.

There has been an actual, Bonehead, in court.

Breaking News: Dunnigan Suspect returns to scene of the crime: "Deerman" Illuminated!

Breaking News: Dunnigan Suspect returns to the scene of the crime, attacks Chevron Clerk! 

Video-evidence and first-hand account detail what the Clerk describes as a "Deerman Attack"... The Clerk, though in recovery at the moment and no longer employed by Chevron, slew the "Foul Beast"

(Brought to you by: Fox news) (3/18/23)

Breaking News, we have recently received reports from a Chevron Clerk, and Authorities, that the third suspect in the Dunnigan Case has not been confirmed and apprehended, but returned to attack the Chevron Clerk as he believes "Because Im a witness" only to be foiled by the "Wrath of God, and a 12-gauge."

The Chevron Clerk then uploaded multiple photos of the thing's body as he had transformed into a horrific fusion of a Deer, and Man, which in the description matches up with artist illustrations of the Native American Wendigo, though eviscerated by Buckshot. The Chevron Clerk, who has asked to remain unnamed, also states

"I don't think it was a Wendigo now cause like, I don't think a Wendigo would've gone down so easy... I mean, this was like a Deer with claws that just happened to fight back you know? So like... It's a Deerman, not a Wendigo."

The Video Footage uploaded by the Clerk displays the man horrifically transforming in the corner, as his bones snapped, his joints bent, and his nails "stabbed out" into long-claw-like protrusions that he alters used to swipe at the Clerk. The Man's body has grown incredible amounts of hair in the span of 6 seconds as his skull parsed out to form Antler-like protrusions, giving him the look of an amalgamated "Deerman" which online Cryptologists have taken to use as a demonym for the entity and entities like it.

As for the Dunnigan Case, one out of three of the suspected suspects remains alive and in Custody... We will be covering this story as it develops.

(If you are curious as to what your Contractor would know about this world event, or are interested in getting involved, please go through proper channels on-server.)

Breaking News: Destruction in Dunnigan!

Breaking News: Destruction in Dunnigan!

On-Site Reporters and

Neighbors, as well as the Dunnigan Fire Station & Presiding Authorities, confirm!

(Brought to you by: Fox news) (4/9/23)

Yolo County Authorities were dispatched to the scene of what has been described by Authorities, and a key witness, as due to 

"Threats, Trespassing, and Supernatural Phenomena"

Initially a single sqaud car was sent to the scene with Officers Mansley and Craig from the Yolo County's Sherrif's Office, the Officers were sent to respond to the call but the department reports that they never radioed back results and never returned... prompting backup to be immediately dispatched in rather-large masse as

"Aside from Animals and occasional break-ins, we never see anything up here... So when something like this happens, we take it seriously." - (Yolo County Sherrif Doyle Wilcox)

Assessing the situation, Authorities report that they discovered strange aberrations carved into the field as well as what can only be described as the melted-and-sludgy remains of the former Officers Mansley and Craig... with most of their equipment, and them, missing or otherwise not present. 

As police response continued throughout the day, a nearby house caught fire in what was later determined to be an intentionally-started Gasoline fire... unfortunately, though the Fire Department responded, the family inside did not make it.

We give our condolences to all the Victims of this tragedy on American Soil, may Justice be delivered swiftly and fairly to whatever horrible monster is responsible.

The victims, Mary Fennigan, Arthur Fennigan, and their children: Marcs Fennigan, and Maribel Fennigan, according to the neighbors, were lovely people who did not serve such a thing and will be remembered forever in the area for both their hospitality, and their support of Russel Baldwin, their neighbor, and his debilitating medical condition.

Apparently, authorities have arrested and found the suspects: though one such suspect, now identified to be Gary Brown, suspect and accomplice in the Dennys Massacre of a month prior, unfortunately, attempted to resist his arrest and had to be put out by Police due to threats of a bomb. Though Suspect Gary Brown expired, a different suspect was not even moments later caught attempting to flee through the field as he had apparently made the bomb threat in the first place, this suspect did comply though, and is now in Police Custody. 

(If you are curious as to what your Contractor would know about this world event, or are interested in getting involved, please go through proper channels on-server.)

JPM Business Enterprising

Jackson Pierce Morgan, known publicly as a philanthropist Boxer, but known less publicly as an entrepreneur and venture capitalist, has recently begun to purchase multiple businesses as well as a whole helicopter across LA in what can be called "A Week of Incredible Fortune" using self-repotedly not Corporate funds, but his own pocketed funds and liquid-assets. Jackson, or JPM as he's refered to by many, hasn't made a public statement on the acquisition of these companies or what he plans to do with them... Regardless, his purchase has gone noticed by multiple Stock-bros and his masculine presence and bravadous-character have resulted in a sort of "Big Boss" public character... causing Pierce Prospect's stock to rise.

Twitter: Gary Brown rock bottom? Mcdonalds Attendant!

Gary Brown, bail-posted suspect in the Denny's massacre, has been seen working at Mcdonald's in San Jose!

Gary Brown, the month following Denny's Trials, has been spotted working minimum wage by a twitter user who has made the following post. The Twitter User has also posted a photo of Gary Brown in a Mcdonald's uniform, in a Mcdonald's drive-through window, appearing to attempt to cover his face in vain. The User has also semi-doxxed his place of work... though whether or not anything will happen or legal action will be taken is up in the air...

Developing Story?

(If you would like to interact with this world event or find out more with your Contractor please go through proper channels on-server)

Fox News : FBI No-fly & Selectee list Compromise-Hack Confirmed by Vice, New York Times, ETC!

Breaking News: FBI No-fly & Selectee List Compromised by Swiss Hacker "Crime-mew"

Vice News & Adajacent Journalists Confirm!

(Brought to you by: Fox news) (3/18/23)

Swiss Hacker "Crimew", who often asks that they are refered to as "Crime-mew", real name Tillie Kottman, a Swedish national who was recently, just years prior, indicted for alleged hacking activity... among other topics... went public in January about their supposed hacking of the FBI no-fly list, as well as the Selectee list, and their willingness to distribute such information to the public.

Crime-mew has come on record to state, on a public blog in late January, that they infiltrated a "Small Airline" and were "Amazed" at the lack of security and the number of holes within the system... apparently, the file containing the confidential databases were held behind mere password-protected walls, and in a folder named after the organizations belonging to the database. 

Among the many people mentioned in the database, which according to Crime-Mew are mostly of "Muslim"-orient, as well as a small amount of European-orient, there are about 10+ known aliases of the Merchant of Death: Viktor Bout (Prolific International Russian Arms Dealer).

Crime-mew has since allowed those who they trust, and believe will do "The Right Thing", access to the leaked databases... no action has been taken against Crime-mew thus since from the Federal Government or the Executive Branch though... this only means no public action has been taken.

The Databases have been confirmed by about four different domestic "reputable", according to Crime-Mew, sources... not including us, as we are apparently discluded. These sources are.

The New York Times

Vice News

Lester Holt

Anderson Cooper

The breach since been dubbed a "Federal embarrassment", both the FBI, TSA, and other homeland-adjacent agencies have made official statements that summate down to.

"We will do better, we will double down against cyber-threat."

We will be covering this situation as it escalates.

(If you are curious as to what your Contractor would know about this world event, or are interested in getting involved, please go through proper channels on-server.)

Jackson Pierce Morgan.. ATTACKED!

Breaking News!!!

The following is a statement from Jackson Pierce Morgan, Following the recent attack in his own office

"Right so I was in my Office, and I invited this Federal-Agent guy who'se been beefin' with me to come to my place... and the bastard decided to shoot me for a personal offense right, so I tackled him out of the room, but he fookin' kept trying to shoot me and accidentally shot himself... the bastard! He's alive though, I wish him a speedy recovery but... Let it be known th... that It was self-defense.... and... and only reason im alive is cause of the Bi... BIG BOSS SUITS! AAG- AGIWAGJGE.."

right before his speech turned into an incoherent mess

Jackson Pierce Morgan, right before he was attacked, invited the man into his office, the deranged attacker pulled a gun on JPM and attempted to take his life, thankfully JPM was able to defend himself but not without taking severe injuries and losing an eye! the croud shares their sympathies with Jackson, wishing him a very get well soon.

"I'm so thankful Jackson Pierce is okay, What kind of madman would attack him like that."

"I never thought my dad would never do something so horrible..."

"I Can't believe that happened..."

"Who would ever hate JPM? BEAT BACK CANCER BEAT BACK ASSAULT"

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

Court News! : Ray Langley Trial

March 29th 2023

Court News

The following is taken from the Trial of Ray Langley, a beloved Mechanic and former Employee of the San Jose Los Carros Hermanos Chop Shop: a car-shop in San Jose. 

"I was under threat of assassination from the cartel. they made me do these horrible things but even then I dont think i'll ever forgive myself, if it was just me i wouldn't have done it, but they threatened my family too, if the family of donny is listening. i am sorry, I won't ask for forgiveness as i do not deserve it. but do know i am sorry. for everything i did."

Ray Langley, under trial for the Murder of Donny Curterio, as well as under trial for being a suspected accomplice of the Denny's Mass Shooter: Micheal Bourbon, has been brought in recently to trial at the Sacramento-City Court. After giving her testimony, answering questions, and after a thoughtful and heartfelt speech from her Attorney, though the jury was rather moved, the Judge settled on a sentence of 10 years with a bail of 10 grand, which was posted promptly by the woman's parents and her own cash. There will be an upcoming followup trial in 2-3 month's time to finalize the sentence, and gather more evidence. 

"A girl like that... I just can't believe she could've done something like that, she's innocent."

"Our daughter would never do something so horrible, those dogs! How dare they..."

"I remember she worked on my car and she like smiled at me so... effeminately... it was beautiful"

"Uh Ray? She was kind of a... kind of mean? I dunno..."

"No, she totally fucking did it. I was there, she killed my Grandpa!"

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

Chales W. Schwarf Found Dead In His Home!

March 29th 2023

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Suicide of Wells Fargo CEO!

Was this caused by the lawsuits and the media coverage?!

"I decided that I can't stand being lied to and lying to the public, we couldn't figure out how to make those suits the same effectiveness as the person I bought it off of did."

Charles W. Schwarf found dead in his home with a letter like this which could be lead to it being his downfall.

Voices online have settled on a great many theories, though none are decisive.

"He probably killed himself because of guilt!"

"I can't believe someone would do this, we need more mental healthcare for men!"

"I believe that he will go to heaven, he didn't do anything wrong in his life and he had allowed so many people to bank with him."

"There's no way he killed himself because what the news says... I mean, who really watches this shit?"

"He killed himself and it was all your fault!! I hope you media outlets feel the guilt for allowing people to get so much hatred so they kill themselves."

"The news has always gotten worse and worse."

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

Gary Brown Convicted : 5 Years, Posted Bail?!?!

March 29th 2023

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Gary Brown: 5 Years, Posted Bail?

Accomplice in Mass Shooting? Or Innocent Victim?

"I am a young male who was led astray by the cartel after bringing a science experiment home. I was being blackmailed by the cartel into doing their liking and didn't know where else to go. As being so young as feeble as I am I couldn't hurt a fly."

Gary Brown, until recently, believed to be an accomplice in the recent "Denny's Massrce" as it's been dubbed, alongside another, and two dead has finally been brought to trial and has been sentenced to 5 years, as well as posted bail for his upcoming retrial. It is unknown at this time how Gary Brown has gotten off so light, or why the Judge has allowed him to walk... and with such a low bail too. 

Voices online have settled on a great many theories, though none are decisive.

"Why, he rolled on his friends of course! All his terrorist and criminal friends!"

"Well... That's so crazy I mean, I saw him at a gold rush park a while back I just didn't think he'd be capable of something like this..."

"I worked with the guy for a while a while ago and like... he's so like effeminate, and so... puny. I never thought he'd do something like that so... it makes sense."

"Yeah I believe him I mean. He's just like that guy from Breaking Bad."

"Science Experiment? Cartel? What kind of movie shit is this...."

"Fuck it I don't believe him, he's hiding something... deep state, deep state, DEEP STATE!"

Gary Brown has posted bail and will be walking free, according to the Court, until the retrial in about a few months. As for his accomplice...

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

Denny's Massacre

March 11th 2023

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Mass Shooting at Dennys-Interstate-5120

"This just in, following reports of a shooting from the Sacramento Dennys at Interstate 5120, a subsequent mass shooting has occurred at the exact same location, as well as adjacent businesses, and the Interstate. From reports we've received from escapees as well as local authorities, a man bearing an Arsenal containing a high-explosive high-destruction rocket launcher, a high-capacity fully automatic machine gun, as well as fully tactical black assault equipment, and fully tactical attachments and accessories for his high-capacity fully automatic machine gun, reportedly blew up the squad-car which has responded to the call... then prepared to sweep the Denny's, shooting and killing everyone at Denny's, as well as shooting and killing nearby drivers as well as anyone and everyone in local businesses, as he drove off. He then followed along the Interstate, shooting and killing other drivers, and forming a multi-car pileup.."

"The bomb squad was then called in to dismantle, and defuse, several bombs which were left behind at the scene on-road and on-site."

The news reports then cycle through infographics, photos, as well as very liberally-leaning agendas and messages. Most of all though it focuses on the tragedy, how this could've been prevented, and a typical news-outlet poise of attempting to use tragedy to push a political agenda... or at least thats what more right-leaning parties like to claim. They provide links to the families of the victims, the victims themselves, as well as a promise to deliver further information on updates.

"Our condolences go out to the families, the victims, the victims of the families, and may justice be delivered to the assailant, as well as any accomplices of the assailant, of this terrible tragedy on American Soil." 

Sacramento-area police will likely be more alert, more trained, and more apprehensive, for months following...

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

Tabloid: San Francisco Homeless Man Found Dead (Doesn't that happen everyday though?)

Recently a homeless man has been found dead in an alley behind the downtown Starbucks next to the Chevron over in Mission. Authorities reported that his body was discovered by

"Horrified Starbucks Employee Mary Holly"

During her early-morning shift. Mary Holly has since been given paid leave to attend therapy for the trauma she has incurred as a result of finding an eviscerated dead body, horribly mangled and still rotting, next to the dumpster.

Incidentally, the Homeless Man is one amongst many other homeless people who die daily in the city from a rampant increase in drug-related deaths and suicides... The Drug War rages on, though it has been officially declared over long-ago by the Federal Government, The War on Drugs is still alive and well in San Francisco.

Will we ever be free from Drugs and their harm on our people?

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

ABC7: Breaking and Entering at the Grand View Restaurant! Continuted!

Later in the morning following January 6th 202

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Morning news would then recieve an update in the case around the Grand-View Resturant, as the same reporter would chime in.

"This just in, we've recieved an update from Authorities, SJPD, that the murder weapon and identifying apparel has been discovered near the scene! Authorities have taken it into evidence, and will be running it through the proper channels. Authorities have allowed us to disclose that the culprits of this case are "Months Away", from being found! There will be justice for the Grand View Family, justice for it's patrons, and it's thought that there will be a grand reopening of the Grand View Resturant in about 3-4 months... under new management: the Nephew Ernesto of the deceased grandfather Donny Curterio... god bless their hearts."

The news report then cycles around to photos, as well as short anecdotes, about each of the figures and people mentioned. It also links to approriate lines, modes of communication, as well as centres that people can use to submit anonymous tips to the SJPD with information regarding the case. Additionally, it offers other hotlines for those who might've been affected by the tragedy, such as Therapy hotlines. There's a short ad that runs through for a bit about Career Prospects and talent agencies, a recent development in the corporate world that's sprung up to success due to increasing unemployment, which is now decreasing thanks to the efforts of multiple companies and corporations.

"That's all for the morning crime report, now onto other news... Beat Back Cancer!"

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

BBC Beat Back Cancer Boxing Event

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Logan and Jackson both stand there facing each other, breathing heavily..Logan Paul makes the first STRRRIKE OH LOOK AT HIS FOOTWORK, HE'S DANCED RIGHT AROUND THAT PUNCH, THAT ONE MUST HAVE HURT, OH OH JACKSON LANDS A SOLID PUNCH, LOGAN PAUL STAGGERS HE REAAALLY FELT THAT ONE THE CROWD GOES NUTS, with one last clash between these two titans.. BAM JACKSON IS KNOCKED OUT COOOOLD.. WAIT WHAT'S THIS LOGANS OUT TOO? IS IT A TIE? THE CROUD GOES ABSOLUTELY WIIIIIIILD.

Jackson Pierce Morgan's BBC (Beat Back Cancer) Boxing event was a massive succsess raising over 600 grand for childrens cancer treatment, following the unbelievable showdown between these two titans, there could be only one champion. And the one who prevailed ontop was Logan Paul. The fight also featured several known boxers like Andrew Gate, Mark Bell, Sullivan Green and more.

"why did I run away from the match?" to be honest.. I dont know.. I don't know what came over me, all of a sudden all I could think about was the fear of losing, and in turn I just ran away from the whole thing...shit man.. my careers fuckin over... Im done." - Sullivan Green

In conclusion the event brought attention from all over the world bringing fame to the previously lesser known Jackson Pierce Morgan, Despite losing the match he will be immortalized as the man who went 4 - 1 and the man who will inevitabley "FUCK CANCER"

This Event will be talked about for months to come and perhaps a rematch in the forseeable future

ABC7: Breaking News! NorCal Farmhouse burns down, Girl still missing!

On the morning following February 5th 2023

BREAKING NEWS!!!

The morning news that day would open with a wide-grinned wide-shiny-white-toothed report, the same woman from the announcement previously, giving a grim address to the audience... as she reads through a document, and stops smiling. She's wearing her usual plaid cardigan, black slacks, tie, newsteller attire.

"Late last night, missing orphan-autist-girl Nancy Parker was reported missing by neighbors-and-authorities... police arrived at the scene of the Nandack Orphanage to discover a gruesome scene: all of the staff and children, five causlaties in total, were found horribly mauled and unalived. It's reportedly, a freak bear attack. Authorities believe that a bear, in it's hunger, roamed into the town and ruthlessly broke into the orphanage, hungry for children, and ravaged all those in it's wake."

The feed cuts to footage of the banged-up Nandack orphanage, it's front-doors have been ripped off it's hinges, it's windows broken, it looks like a train or a car might've went through it.

"Additionally, it seems that the Miller Home: where Nancy Parker, an orphan who was recently remanded from the orphanage, has burned down in what's called a tragic gas-leak fire... Though Nancy Parker's body was not discovered, the bodies of her then-foster parents have been discovered, assumedly. Dental records have yet to be ran, though authorities are confident that the bodies discovered, charred and burned, are indeed belonging to the parents. An additional body was apparently found, belonging to a large naked man with several bullet wounds. That's all for the morning Incident report though, on other news..."

"Elon Musk's TESLA stock prices have crashed to a historic low!" 

The news address then cuts to a scatching reprimand of Elon Musk and the recent Twitter fiasco.

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)

Chinese tech master missing! Indigenous man named Tawa found dead with an arm missing.

The rise and fall of Samsarung is a mystery as the founder and CEO of the buisness went missing last thursday night. How will the chinese people ever recover from the huge hit that cellphone company has created from the Chinese man going missing. In other news, an Indigenous man named Tawa was found dead in the middle of a jungle on the same day. Cause of death, .50 cal bullet through the chest and arm torn off. On-person the local authorities found a knife and a feathered hat with the feather missing. Some say it was a hate crime. Others say, it was just bad luck and bad timing. Bad place, bad time type deal. His tribe has responded and made a press conference. Here's what they said in english. "Tawa was a kind and loving soul and would never want to hurt anyone. Whomever did this was definetly targeting him because he looks a little different than the average person in Papua New Guinea. I can't believe someone would do that to him. I hope whoever did, comes clean and confesses to thier sins." Wow, talk about a heartbreaking story. We are expecting heavy foot traffic on the island of Kaduagua. It is a massive island with lots of jungle and plants and stuff you should not be touching. Again, if you find anything that might help to this case contact this number. XXX-XXX-XXXX. That's about it with the news for today and thank you all for tuning in until next time!

ABC7: Breaking and Entering at the Grand View Restaurant, Restaurant Owner Found Dead! Gang-Activity on the rise in San Jose?

On the morning following January 6th 202

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Morning news that day would feature an article from ABC7, chiming in with the usual reporter and set up to give that morning's "Crime Report". The reporter is a brunette whtie woman in her thirties, though makeup looks her look exceptionally youngish, wearing a beige-plaid blazer and a nice light wool scarf. She addresses the audience from a desk-and-chair combo, confidently, and firmly.

"Alright so this morning's Crime Report is straight from the San Jose Police Department! Early last night it seems that there was a disturbance-call around the Hamilton Ridgeline, specifically the Grand View Restaurant's area. That area's a place well-known for it's out-of-the-way luxury, owned by pillar of the Italian-American community Donny Curteiro, who... unfortunately, as reports state, has been found dead at the scene."

The footage then pans to show police-cars in the early morning's dawn-light surrounding the Grand-View Resturant, which is now taped off, and surrounded by Officers and relevant personnel. Infographics as well as "Call Here" lines and resources are then listed and introduced to the audience as the footage cuts to a address from the police themselves on-scene.

"Do we believe it was gang-related? Yes, and no, while we keep our callers anonymous we simply were called on a disturbance call and when we arrived we had no idea what we were about to find... The case is confidential, but what I am allowed to say is that we found the front-chain-locks snapped in half, and we're looking with relevant officials to launch a full investigation into this. We've already acquired some evidence, so mind you, we will get to the bottom of this. Like stated, call the following numbers, lines, and hotlines, if you'd like to help out with this case... anything helps."

The feed cuts back to the reporter.

"That was Officer Daniels from SJPD, bless his heart, now we've actaully got a new tip that the Police have found new evidence a short way's off from the scene itself... Such as the Murder Weapon, and other identifying articles that we are not allowed to disclose currently, and that's all we've got for now. Our hearts and minds go out to the family of the victim, Donny Curterio, and the Grand View Family, pillars of the community that they are. This does spell a worrying question though, is gang activity on the rise in San Jose?"

The reporter then is cut out as the rest of the morning news gets played, the following reports are non-consequential and are merely chicanery and bullshit about local disturbances, unions, rain, floods, and other typical stuff... nothing notable.

(If you have any questions or concerns about this Move or what your Contractor may know, or would like to get involved, go through the proper channels on-server.)