I’ve been in Neo-Genis long enough now to know that this world has a way of exposing you. Every encounter, every challenge—it peels back your layers, leaving you raw and vulnerable. And lately, I’ve started to notice something... unsettling. A shadow creeping along the edges of my thoughts.

The system is vast, beautiful, and chaotic, but it’s also unrelenting. It doesn’t just test your skills; it tests your soul. I can feel something inside me shifting—small at first, like a pebble dropped into a still pond. But the ripples are spreading. The missions, the choices, the pressure—it’s wearing me down, or maybe... it’s bringing something out.

I don’t like what I see in myself sometimes. The frustration that bubbles up when things don’t go my way, the quick flashes of anger, the cold calculation in my decisions. The system has this way of magnifying what’s inside you, and I’m terrified that what it’s revealing isn’t something I want to face.

So, I fight it the only way I know how: with light.

I’ve started cracking more jokes, teasing the others in my group. It’s easier when I’m with them—making someone laugh feels like a victory against the darkness that’s trying to take root. Even when I’m struggling, I pretend I’m fine. Maybe if I smile enough, I’ll start to believe it too.

Today, I joked with Iphus about their students. “Do you think you’ve lectured enough to your students? You’re one lecture away from turning a echo chamber haha.” They laughed, and for a moment, I forgot about the storm inside me.

But when the mission ended and we all logged off, I sat alone in my digital hub and stared at the flickering interface. The silence was heavy. Too heavy. That’s when it creeps in—the corruption. It’s not a program or code; it’s something deeper, something in me.

I wonder if the system knows what it’s doing to me. Is this by design? A trial to see who can hold on to their humanity the longest? Or am I just a flaw in its logic, a player who can’t adapt to the weight of this world?

I’m trying, though. Trying to remember who I am. Who I was. The jokes, the lighthearted teasing—they’re not just for the others. They’re for me, too. They’re my anchor, a way to remind myself that I’m still here, still human.

Sometimes, I wonder if this is how you lose yourself—not all at once, but in small, quiet moments where the darkness feels just a little more comfortable than the light.

But I won’t let it win. Not yet.

Tomorrow, I’ll log back in. I’ll crack another joke, maybe make someone roll their eyes or smile. I’ll keep finding those little sparks of light, even if they feel far away. Because as long as I can laugh, as long as I can make someone else laugh, I know there’s still something worth fighting for.

The darkness may be patient, but so am I.

The memory surged again, a tidal wave of images and emotions so vivid it felt as though I were there, reliving it. My awakening was not gentle, not a peaceful release from the icy slumber that had held me for centuries. It was a jarring return to a world I barely recognized.

The seal of that person had begun to fracture, and with it, the bonds that held us Heroes in stasis. I was the first to awaken, still half-frozen, the dark residue of his power seeping through the cracks of my being. I stumbled free from the Temple of Time, its once-majestic corridors now crumbling, and made my way to the forests of Ellinia.

I remember collapsing there, the cool earth cradling me as the world spun. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by two curious faces—a girl named Lania, her bright eyes filled with a kindness I hadn’t known in centuries, and her talking cat, Penny, who regarded me with both suspicion and intrigue.

When I mentioned Elluel, the fairy village of legend, Lania looked puzzled. "Elluel? That’s just a story," she said, her voice gentle but firm. The weight of her words struck me like a blow: centuries had passed since that person's defeat. The world was at peace, unrecognizable to me, and my mission—our mission—was a fading memory in the minds of its people.

Lania offered me a place to stay, and though the weight of my past clung to me like a shroud, I accepted. Her home became my sanctuary, a small haven tucked away in the quiet woods. For a time, I knew something resembling peace. Lania’s laughter was a balm for my fractured soul, and Penny’s sharp tongue kept me grounded in the present.

But the darkness inside me was restless. The headaches started small, a dull throb behind my eyes, but they grew worse with time. Lania noticed, of course. She always noticed. “You need to rest more,” she’d chide, brushing a strand of her hair from her face as she prepared one of her herbal remedies.

Then came the day it all unraveled.

She sent me to the market, a simple task to distract me from my growing unease. As I stepped outside, the air seemed to grow heavier. My chest tightened, a suffocating pressure that wasn’t just physical—it was him, his power, stirring within me.

“Lania, stay back!” I shouted, my voice trembling with both fear and rage. She froze, her eyes wide with confusion and concern. Black chains erupted from the ground around me, wrapping tightly like serpents, their darkness consuming everything they touched.

And then I lost consciousness.

When I awoke, the world was aflame. The air was thick with ash, and the once-lush forest was a smoldering ruin. My heart sank as I turned to see Lania’s house, now a heap of rubble. Among the wreckage, I found her, motionless, her delicate frame sprawled on the charred earth.

“No...” My voice broke as I dropped to my knees. I reached out, my hands trembling, as tears blurred my vision. The guilt was overwhelming, an iron weight pressing on my chest. This was my fault. The darkness I had fought so hard to suppress had destroyed everything I held dear.

I could feel it now, pulsing inside me like a second heartbeat—that man's power, alive and insidious, twisting within me. I didn’t know how to contain it, how to fight it. But one thing was clear: I couldn’t stay.

The world had been at peace for centuries, and I couldn’t risk bringing this darkness back into it. With one final glance at Lania’s lifeless form, I turned away, the pain etched into my soul.

Her laughter, her kindness, her unwavering belief in me... I carried it all, a beacon of light in the shadow threatening to consume me. I vowed then and there to find a way to master the darkness inside me—or to destroy it before it destroyed anyone else.

Luminous may have been a hero once, but now I was something else. Something broken, fractured between light and dark. My journey wasn’t over. It had only just begun.

I sat alone in the dim light of the evening, the golden hues of the sunset reminding me of something I could barely grasp—a light that once burned within me, pure and untouchable. As the memory unfurled, I realized it wasn’t just mine. It belonged to someone else. Someone I had been. Someone I still was, in fragments.

I was Luminous. Not just a name, but a purpose. The last remnant of light born from the someone's corruption, a spark he cast out in his ascension to becoming a Transcendent. They called me the Starchild, a human forged from light by the mages of Aurora. They raised me, sheltered me, and hid me in Harmony, a pocket dimension far from that person's shadow.

And then there was Lucia. My constant, my best friend, and—though I didn’t know it then—my shield. She was the lamb they raised for slaughter, a decoy meant to draw that person's wrath when he finally came. And he did. I see it now as if I’m standing there again. Her face, pale and determined, as she stepped into the storm meant for me. Her light extinguished so mine could endure.

I see us, a small band of adventurers and friends, gathered at the Dragon Master’s Tower. The flames of a soldier warning, lighting the way as we prepared for the end of the world. A fellow magician, a archer, a warrior, a thief, and a pirate — we were a force bound by hope and desperation. The battle that followed, though... it was chaos.

In the final days of that war, I walked alongside heroes who became legends. Together, we breached the Temple of Time, each step heavier with the weight of what we knew had to be done. The magician plan was desperate—a gamble to seal that person away using the stolen Transcendent powers absorbed into the Seal Stones. But the price...

The pirate. I can barely remember him now, only the hollow space where he existed. He chose to sacrifice his time, his very existence, to activate the seal. I argued. We all did. But he was resolute. And then... he was gone. Not even a whisper of his memory remained, save for the void he left in our hearts.

The duel with that person burns brightest in my memory. His dark magic clashed with my light, each strike shaking the foundation of the Temple of Time. But he was stronger, far stronger than any of us could have imagined. When the magician's plan finally took hold and the Seal Stones began to activate, that person lashed out in desperation.

I see myself lunging forward to stop him, a foolish move born of necessity. When my light met his darkness, something shifted. I felt it like a wound splitting open, a crack in the core of who I was. His darkness seeped into me, leaving one of my eyes stained crimson, a permanent mark of the battle that changed everything.

That person was sealed behind the Gate of the Present, and we were expelled from the Temple of Time, cast down into the burning lands of Leafre. But I... I never made it out. The temple’s frozen grasp claimed me, locking me in a timeless slumber.

Now, as Orion, I sit with the weight of a life I lived long ago yet faintly remember... It feels like a dream, but the ache in my chest tells me it’s more than that. I don’t know what I’m meant to do with these memories, this fractured past, but one thing is clear: the darkness I carry isn’t just his. It’s mine now. And maybe, just maybe, it always was.

- Orion

I have always wondered... What will I do once all that I have, all that I have been offered graciously by chance is all withered away by time, by the constant atrophy of existence by the nature of which that is nature should do. I, an unnatural thing, will not deteriorate simply from time, or lack of satiation, or from most things, aside from the ever-constant conflict within and surrounding me, that which I, unfortunately, incite occasionally. What shall I do when all the things I have worked for, all that I will love, hate and grow with, what will I do when it is all gone? Will I cry? Will rage consume me? I have not yet decided in such a manner yet, however, with the progression of my feelings to other people, two of which specifically, what will I do when even they are gone? What will happen when I cannot fulfil my promises? What will I feel when I lose them...

And to all of that... I... I don't know.

It appears that due to all the actions taken in the latest quest of my storyline, a new creature that was dormant within this vessel has chosen to show itself, a being with a similar visage to the vessel's current owner, a spawn of all the darkness and hatred that lingers within me.  It reminds me so much of myself in certain aspects but is so foreign to me that it still feels like an entirely different person. It arrives with its name and intentions, yet it still appears to have devotion to I. It names itself  "Baam", meaning night, fear, terror and dread, how... Expected... Now I share this vessel with an individual who has clear malicious intentions when they are made to make an appearance. Oh how this massive maelstrom of plotlines, character arcs and dips, highs and lows, karmic chance and coincidence all interweave into making my existence that much harder to live...

However, I shall see where these threads wish to guide me.

I've.. I don't know.  I don't know.  Everything feels off.  My abilities.. they should work on technology.  But... they're starting to work on everything.  And... and what if it's just another simulation?  I've been spending a bunch of time studying and stuff, and.. and I've been doing it in Neo-Genis, it's easier to think there.  But what does that mean?  Is it safe to go out?  What happens if I go out?  Could anything happen? Or... or worse, could it happen from somewhere I can't do anything about it?  The Neo-Genis servers exist in reality.. or are they simulated?  Are they just another level of simulation?  Is reality a simulation, and we're just starting to simulate our own realities in turn?  What happens if there's a fire in the server farm that runs our reality?  Do we just stop existing?

Is Simon a player?  Am I just an NPC?  Are we all just NPCs?

What does that mean for me?  What does that mean for us all?

I get home, I wearily greet my maids and head to my room, and flop on the bed heave another sigh as my kids wake up, after changing and feeding them, I put them back to bed and I head off to dream land myself.  I am utterly exhausted, I upgraded my flawed bident and added some exp to my stats and gave a look over my new power, im basically invulnerable. add regen next time and i'll be unkillable. god I got to do so much to prep for the new games. need to also work on my new monster. I wonder what maze is going to do with the horny buggers XD Oh right i also need to do some edits to my games and finish that other one. so much work to do and so little time uegh and i got a playgroup to make as well. 

Something new has come to my attention. Apparently someone who had their soul removed during the earlier events hasn't woken up since then. He spoke with Sora, who spoke with me in turn.

I talked with Task, and we both agree that we thought everything had been resolved, but it's our responsibility to see this through, investigate the cause, and fix this.

Task is... really growing up. I'm proud of her.

Also I said she was my kid to her face and I still haven't recovered from that.

Regardless, Allen Sullivan is the name of the brother of the coma patient who is one Harry Sullivan. Apparently he talked to Sora in order to try and find who caused the virus event (Task wants to apologize, and I will make sure it goes smoothly) and to wake up his brother.

I can relate to wanting to ensure the safety of a sibling, so I hope that with the two of us, as well as with the help of the many, many people I've come to know, we can bring Harry home.

It's weird, having a goal like this in mind, and a clear issue to solve. The pressure is doing absolute wonders for my confidence. I don't get why.

Luckily, not much time passed in our world while we were away, so none of us had to explain our absence.

I've been hanging out with Luna some more, and I think it's been good for both of us. I hope so, anyway. Talking with her about our powers was interesting. She seems to see things as part of a game, while I can't help but think of everything in terms of hacking a computer. Looking at things from her perspective was actually helpful; she got me thinking of ways to min-max my abilities. By modifying my data manipulator to run on batteries instead of just using whatever power I've been granted by Simon, I can wring a bit more oomph out of it.

And I got to help her out too! She's making a space station in Neo-GENIS, and I helped her train the staff NPCs. It's such a cool place, and I've got an access badge for it, so I get to use it too. Should make research way easier. Maybe there's more I can do to help out up there too? I hope so.