OMG! JOEY KUUBRO IN LONDON??? KUUBRO NATION RISE UP!

Hey Kuubro Nation, Kyle Adams here, head of the Joey Kuubro fan club 👋🙋‍♂️

I'm sure you all have seen the newest Kuubro videos since you guys have the bell icon ticked! 

Joey Kuubro has been TERRORIZING London with some grade a pranks. My favorite of the month was when he replaced a bunch of their pubs' beer with anti freeze 👌👌👍 So classic. Some people don't agree though, I need all my Kuubros to get together in the comments and fuck these haters up! 👊✊ I'm talking about you @LindaKeller17, you are an ugly bitch and are just jealous of how cool Joey is 😠😡👿

Calling all members of the Kuubro nation in England, we should start pulling some Kuubro inspired pranks! Get out there, live up to his legacy! Me personally I purchased a plane ticket for next week, I'm gonna go jump in front of a double decker bus 🚌💀🩸 omg the looks on their faces will be so funny 🤣🤣😂😂

Kyle Adams, JKFC President signing out 😜

EDIT: OMG GUYS! I JUST CHECKED JOEYS FACEBOOK (Weird he has a facebook btw kind of boomer status lmao sorry joey 😅😅😁) AND HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS IS COMPLICATED! ALL MY KUUBRO SLEUTHS, WE GOTTA FIND OUT WHO HIS NEW BADDIE IS! TIME TO STALK INSTAGRAM HAHA 🤓

Growing Fentanyl Problems in the Big Apple!

Last night, officers led a successful drug bust on a warehouse near the Hudson River. Detective Gonzales led the charge after having tracked down this drug ring and several stake outs to gather the evidence they needed for a warrant.

"I hate to think how many kids would have ended up addicted, injured or even killed had this Fentanyl hit the streets!" - Said by Detective Gonzales during an interview. After staking out all night waiting for the perfect moment, the officers rushed in and managed to secure over 400 pounds of Fentanyl without any casualties.

12 men were arrested, however the NYPD stated there are more members of this cartel associated with the bust that escaped capture. If you have any news regarding the sale or processing of Fentanyl in the NYC area, please contact the NYPD on their tip line at 800-577-TIPS. If your tip leads to the arrest of a violent felon you could receive up to $3,500! 

In other news, check out an article on the pigeon population in NYC. Spike in pigeon population - Is it an issue? Find out later this week on ABC7 New York tonight where our anchor Jamie Jones speaks with local avian expert Lorenzo Shumacker!

Annual Puerta Rican Spelling Bee Winner!!!

The annual spelling bee ages 8-15 taking place in Puerta Rica, San Juan, has been won by the ever brilliant Nikandr Petrikov. Those of you keeping up with the spelling bee scene will know the young 14 year old Nikandr has won the last 7 of his competitions, the most recent being in London, Britain and Los Angeles, California!

The boy seems focused and ready to go undefeated this year, taking the Spelling Bee championship. Some of us at The Spelling Hive are a little concerned considering what is going on in Russia in recent years. We are all hoping with fingers crossed the young lad keeps up all his hard work and achieves his goals!

Nikandr, if you're reading this, Y-O-U G-O-T T-H-I-S!!! Hahaha, thats just some spelling bee humor, see? Cause we typed it out? Spelled it? 

Haha! Well folks, be tuned in for the next competition on July 2nd in New York City! 32 8-15 year old kids will participate, and one will win!

- The Spelling Hive

He's got a Greene thumb and he's new in town!

Joe Greene, therapist extraordinaire, has come to London! Traveling therapist and psychiatrist for the wealthy, Joe Greene is called across the world, delivering his services when needed. Some say it's because of his calming demeanor, some say it's because of his 12 years of schooling and 20+ years of experience. Others say Joe Greene is hiding a supernatural secret.

"My dad had a session with Joe Greene... Dr. Greene knew things that couldn't have been possible to guess. There's something going on in that pretty head of his!" - Anonymous

"My girlfriend left me for Joe Greene and when they talked, she found out he was gay. She came back to me but after their discussion she's never been the same. I want my Jessabelle back. Joe Greene isn't right in the head!" - Anonymous

Who knows how he does it? Whatever the case, Dr. Joe Greene is truly an expert in his craft, and his services could be yours internationally for a nominal price of $10,000/hour with a 3 Session/Week requirement because - "Otherwise, what's the point? If you have issues, and you want to get serious, you go Greene or go home." - Dr. Greene.

BREAKING - Mass Hysteria Leads to a San Fran Frantic Fiesta!

Last night, at approximately 8:40pm, a riot was incited at SFO, San Francisco International Airport. Culminating in 107 deaths, almost 200 injuries and the halting of all flights for the remainder of the week, this is the largest event in SFO history. 

Police as well as the FBI and Homeland Security are investigating this horrible massacre that will surely go down in history as a dark spot in San Fran's bright and sunny past.

A man named Alfred, an Uber Driver in the Golden City, was detained among several others claiming to have witnessed a monster at the scene. We tried to get an interview, but the police denied us.

We at the San Fran Chronicle will be sure to update our online articles throughout the week as we remain in contact with local authorities.