So, in between customers I've been trying to figure out what I need to learn or make. So many ideas, including the silliness of merging my RV with a helicopter, or making it into a submarine, or putting it in my pocket. Well, I say 'my' RV when really my dad said he didn't want to use it himself after mom passed, but he wanted me to be able to comfortably visit him out east. Anyway, the more serious ideas include magical linguistics, physical and/or mental armor, a sword I could retract into the left bracer, a steamer trunk that turns into a vest, various healing ideas, breaking conservation of energy, fixing or creating objects, actual hammerspace, a controllable filament idea, and walking on walls.

Anyhow, with all that noted down so I don't forget, I can ponder what to do while I wait for an appointment. He said he has some first editions to offer, a few of which might end up in my personal collection. He also said he'd bring a list of first editions he's looking for, so perhaps I'll make something on this.

I really need something to go right, with luck it'll calm me down so I can sleep better tonight. Still having bad dreams.

The next morning I woke up with my mind on fire.  The old lady never showed back up, but now i understand what she meant when she promised me magic.  I'm seeing the world in a whole different way.  I can feel, hear, taste time itself, and I'm more certain than ever that i have a home to get back to because my time is different than everything else's. It's the wrong... color?  flavor? no idea how to quantify it yet but I'll fucking well find out. 
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It's been a few days and I'm playing with this new energy.  I'm trying not to rave like the madman I've been labeled anymore, but after digging around online I'm finding that at least here there's a lot proven beyond the boundaries of mundane science.  I'm reading, I'm learning, and I'm experimenting.  Let's see where this goes.
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Okay, breakthrough of some kind. I've found some meditative techniques, mental exercises that let me push on this new force.  It's clumsy, but if I strain I can, well not so much move them through time as move time through them. It's weird, but the only way I'll grasp it is to approach it logically, experimentally. for now, at least if something like that lava monster comes at me maybe I have a defense...

After I got sewn up and was resting on the cot in my office, I was almost ready to genuinely recuperate. My uncle had helped me with that and with working through my current bout of paranoia. He'd even promised to take care of the shop again until I felt better, on reduced hours of course. He has other responsibilities too, but those are mostly in the evenings. Tech work for tabletop roleplaying live streams, he said.

I'd barely laid down when Nik crawled out of my bag, I had forgotten he was there! I've never been good with pets, but at least he didn't eat or breathe. Also, being a reflection of part of my subconscious, I could trust him if anyone; which is good considering what happened next.

I was laying on my back and fluttered up to land on the bottom of my ribcage and stared deep into my eyes. I was worried that he'd be angry with me, but he wasn't. He said, in that way I understand even with only a few words, that I wasn't being true to myself. I was trying too hard to be who I wished I was and not embracing my strengths. He explained that I was talented in making connections, not just with people, and also in easing pains of all sorts.

Then he laid down, his head between my breasts, and closed his eyes. I reached down to half hold and half hug him, and felt a relieved sigh as the breath of life left him and he began to fade into a shadow of himself and then nothing at all. Then I heard two last words from nowhere and everywhere. Au revoir.

Until I see you again, little Nikola, I know you're always with me.

Applying what he told me over the next week I've healed myself, both the wounds themselves and the numbness and limp they caused. My leg is strong again, and I'm confident that I won't be too scared to trust others very soon, before I'm truly needed again I'm sure.