Quincy and I got to hang out a little longer after our last adventure and he showed me around the city! I got to try chip snacks called "Doritos" and go to a flapjack house! They had yummy soft cakes there with sweet berries and syrup (and I got extra whipped cream which was also super yummy!). He got me some nice warm jackets to bundle up with back home. I finally got to draw my maps and give them to him too, cause I know the jobs are scary sometimes but I always try to be brave! He made me promise I would stay safe no matter what, but would carry out my wishes if it came to that which I appreciated. Sometimes things go wrong and I want to be prepared for it. 

We met up with Pringles too for some medicine to help my foot cause they're a cool doctor! I'm so happy I have so many cool friends and I can't wait to meet more next time.

Right back in my cell, just looks different now.

When I was teleported back into Foundation custody I was immediately hit with sleeping gas through the vents. Guess it makes sense they would have that set up...

Woke up in some sort of snowy cottage, new clothes and a lot less security. I poked around a bit, summoned my Boys, but they couldn't seem to interact with anything. Looking around, the place was staged to make it look like I just woke up from a coma and had memory problems.

Motherfuckers actually tried to tell me the last ten years of my life have all been in my head, that I've actually just been delusional and they're trying to "help" me.

Even had the gaul to say my parents had visited me and I just didn't remember it. Cherry on top, they said I had broken out and killed them at one point.

They'll regret doing this to me.

Dr. William Wallace, D.O. 
Confidential Therapist Notes on date |Redacted| location |Redacted|. For traveling shift 2 (employer C.S.)

Traveled to |Redacted|. Session focused on trauma that occurred in |Redacted| |Redacted| years ago.

Initial trauma patient found to be aware of said trauma, quite resistant to addressing it through typical therapeutic techniques, and in the process of continuous self-sabotage. Unclear what their goals were, as the interaction quickly became hostile. Unfortunate force was used; medical care given immediately. 

Second trauma patient found to be immediately hostile, however not resistant to typical therapeutic techniques. Discussion of the roots of trauma, with sharing of personal trauma as willing, helped to bring down tensions and led to further understanding of trauma for patient. Patient accepted medicine as well as |Redacted| as therapy objective given by |Redacted|. Both seemed to have immediate effect.

Q: Has taken it upon self to protect others, particularly S, and forming a strong relationship with the latter. Unclear whom the relationship benefits more. Shown to be mostly clear-headed in crisis. Has grown to be more understanding of trauma.

P: Shown to have the right instincts in crisis, if not the ability to carry them out fully. Have some worry over their ability to protect themselves when facing a non-traditional fight. Shows clear compassion and empathy towards' others pain, even to point of putting self in danger in attempt to fix.

S: Continuing to forge strong relationships with other coworkers, one of a paternalistic nature. Relationships seem to be nurturing and mutually beneficial for mental health. Shown to be clear-headed and able to think clearly in crisis. Seems to have understanding of when and how to use medicine as stabilization, and knowledge that it is often only the first step in addressing trauma.

Since I started this strange new job, a lot of things have started coming easier to me. My memory's still not so good, but that's why the journaling! As I go about doing my day job I find my feet surer, my pack lighter. I feel like I've upped my endurance training regimen by a factor of five, but it's only a little harder. It's amazing! The new job is terrifying of course, and so the new strength is much appreciated - I need to keep myself safe while dealing with all these horrors. I'm hoping that part calms down, but for some reason I can feel in the back of my head like I already know it's only going to get worse from here. Like it's happened before, you know? I don't have anything about that in my notes though. So, it's probably nothing.

[There's a portion a few lines long scratched out so it is unreadable.]

I find myself sleeping little these recent nights - I am haunted by a past thought dusted and forgotten in the wake of more important things; a ghost I'd thought I'd left behind.

Father, what hell have you brought upon our family?

My father's writings have consumed me; I spend my nights poring over his journals and his letters, trying desperately to pull the arcane from the financial. There's a morbid banality to the records I now know tally the fortunes of matters beyond mortal ken. In the reading, I am summoned once more to my boyhood, when he would sit me at his desk on summer evenings and enlist my aid in balancing his ledgers, so that I may someday learn to do the same. I wonder, in my ignorance, did I send any poor souls to meat the same fate as my mother? With the art of a child's arithmetic, did I condemn unknowing victims to a wasting death? Damn him! Damn him a thousand times for what he's compelled my complicity in, long before I had the understanding to know different.

I wonder, do I now damn myself the same? Do I plunge myself into the same pit of depravity and malfeasance as my accursed sire?

More importantly, can I afford not to?

What have you left me to, Father? What world did you live in, that you kept hidden from your family, and to what end? Was Mother a hapless victim to your machinations, or was she your conspirator? If so, to what purpose did the two of you exclude me from an education in the occult?

I find myself not embarking upon but in the middle of a perilous journey; a ship I boarded before I knew how to chart a course. I am adrift - lost at sea, with naught but devils and monsters to guide my way.

Would that I had a lighthouse - some guiding principle by which I may ensure my course is true - but I am caught in the dark of night, and I know not when dawn will come.

Mother, how I wish that you were here...