"Widow" Stryker's Questionnaire

I do not currently have a solid place of residence, aside from just staying in the RV of a fallen colleague. Even before that, it was mostly a lot of drifting. Not having to worry about the normal limitations of a living being, I see no point in having a home for my own sake. My companion and wife, however, still need some of those trappings, so I have compromised with the RV. The route witch lives for the road, and the Fey prefers to keep on the move, despite already having dealt with her past. Old habits die hard. The one thing that I do care about, however, is that when I park the RV, it is somewhere with cover. Forested camp grounds, a parking garage, a cave, and the like. 

I have become decently knowledgeable in the occult, and am often called upon, both by occultists, and investigators, as I freely shares with both. As long as their goals are not misguided and a threat to the general world as a whole, I do not mind sharing what I know. 

I have also taken up a degree of vigilante work, which pays enough to keep me going. As I only ever need to pay for gas, and to replace the occasional blade or article of clothing, it's not hard to save money. Iactually struggle with the concept of needing money anymore, and it's only the occasional mission that has reminded me that "Normal" people are still obsessed with the illusion of coinage. Most of my oney is simply used to assist my friends. 

I hope to one day be a Queen of the dead. Not over animate corpses, but more over the spirits and souls of those already departed. Like the Gods and Goddesses of the dead I have spent so long studying, I hope to carve out my own place among the underworlds. I have killed, and will continue to kill, any who stand in my way, and will settle with them when I have claimed my throne. I Have  dead, and will risk death again, to continue my pursuit. What Queen of Death worth the title has not Died at some point during her ascension? It is through knowledge and experience that we become our best selves, and in the pursuit of the underworld, one must experience such things first hand. Now that that experience is behind me, am free to focus on gaining a foothold in the underworld. Part of that goal will require purging the unnecessary aspects I have picked up along the way. As well as making amends for the wrongs I have done along the way. I have not forgotten the family that was left behind by the man I killed for no reason. 

I think the thing that struck me the most was the concept of Santa Muerte. I was raised with blades, and grace, being a gypsy, but when I was a teen going goth, I stumbled across this goddess of death. It struck me how this beautiful being attributed with protection, love, prosperity, and Death was not what I pictured when thinking of a death God. Like Gypsys, the stereotype was off. Then there was Persephone. While not a goddess of death herself, her husband gives her grace in his domain. I believe it was this fascinating aspect of women of power in the domain of death that shifted my perspective. I had already become a formidable knife fighter, a wielder of death in my own right. Could I not also be an object of grace and beauty and power as well as death? It might have been just a phase at that point, something to destract myself from real life until it inevitably crept in and made me a zombie of the system, if it weren't for the harbingers. Proof solid that this could very much be possible. 

There have been a handful of people I tried to get close to, but I believe there are only three left, honestly. 

The first would be Grace. I have not been able to see her as often as I would like, but the combination of strong independent female, and tied to the world of death is something hard to ignore. She is sweet, and I appreciated her heart, even in the midst of what we do. If I do not make it to her, I hope she makes it to me in the afterlife. 

The second would have to be Faira. I did not care for her at first, and did not expect to have anything to do with her for long, but the other contractors constantly brought me back to her. You ever see that commercial about calling that guy about insurance at all hours? Yeah, that's basically how these guys treat Faira. I will give her the benefit of the doubt, she does know what she's doing. She can get you where you need to go, and is generous beyond what I have experience with. I'm not familiar with people who can That trustworthy... for no reason. Well, I'm sure she has reasons, due to her Pact with the roads goddess... nevermind. I do understand. 

And now we come to the last, but not least, Aria. It's not a huge surprise to anyone who knows me that I would prefer the company of a strong woman over a man. She is easy to get along with, much like Grace, but in an adult package. Perhaps it's the exotic aspect of the fey, perhaps it's nothing more than proximity and constant adrenaline keeping the blood pumping, but I have gown attached enough to this woman that I look forward to getting back to her. I'm not used to being appreciated beyond what I can do for people. It has been a long road, with the contracts, the fall of two worlds, my own death, and through it all, Aria has been there. I can't say I have the romantic notions of movies and books, but I would consign a world to the Void if someone were to take her from me. 

I... am embarrassed to say this, but I do not remember my parents. So much has happened. I know I was a hellion as a child. I constantly got into everything, and always had a fixation with blades. I think that is why my father started teaching me so early on how to use them properly. I was homeschooled, like most of the kids in our community, so there wasn't a question of fitting in. We were all gypsy, and were raised in the best ways to help the community. As a girl I was taught to flirt, steal, tell fortunes, and defend myself. I was really good at that last part. If we showed interest in a particular thing, that is what school became focused on. Most of my days were focused on blades and studying the concepts of death. Of course there were basic studies in math, history, and science. There were also other random lessons that were taught to help the community. Construction, mechanics, computers, etiquette, working with animals... pretty much anything that would be needed. 

Being a death dealing gypsy, the concept of love was as a tool used upon others to trap people and get what you want. It was to be used on others and avoided for yourself until you were ready to settle down and help grow the community. Then it was more a matter of "who can benefit me the most and has the best genes." My training and obsession with death prevented me from falling too early into the trap, and the contracts prevented any thoughts of such a thing after. As mentioned before, I am not sure if what I have with Aria can be called love, but she does fit what I was taught to look for. I am dead, so procreation isn't a thing anyway, but I benefit greatly from her presence. When I think of taking a break, I think of her. When I'm asked what means most to me... well... don't tell her this, but my first thought is being in the city of the dead with Aria.

The Void. The Void has become my worst fear. It has its perks, and yes I can accept what it whispers to me in my mind through the blade I was given.. The Void is an aspect of death... but is not the aspect I want. The Void has no Queen. There is no benevolent ruler of grace and beauty. It is emptiness and madness. I had hoped this gift to be a stepping stone a tool to my goals, but it has become too strong in me. I have been an object of death since I was old enough to wield a knife, but my desires conflict with its. I do not wish to spread madness and oblivion. I wish to give hope and peace to those that have fallen. My fear is that I will be lost to the Void. That it will finally consume my goals and I will be a tool to destroy all those around me. To strip the hopes and dreams of all the worlds I touch. I have seen too much evidence of this of late. I must do something. If the Void has its way, what will happen to Grace... to Aria... to the lost and confused souls lost before their time. 

There was a time that this answer would have easily have been my blade.... but having been gifted the cloak of a true reaper, being bound in its folds anchors me and reminds me of who I truly am. It has become dear to me because of this. I have found that without the needs of the living, the ties to material possessions becomes harder to maintain. The symbols of my station mean something to me... the cloak, the blade, the ferry... but it is the status and that means more to me than the possessions themselves. My blade is a symbol of death. Reaping the mortal coil, and severing the soul between this life af the next. The cloak is a symbol of my status, and the being I am meant to be. The ferry signifies my job of transporting the souls into the lands of the dead. Perhaps one day I will get a lantern of sorts. A guiding light through the storm of the underworld. 

I believe I have stated this before, but the influence of the Void is my current problem. I will not take up more words discussing this. 

My other problem is my companions and I are currently in a dying world which I may or may not have hand in destroying. I hope to purge myself of this influence and get us out of this dying world. Aria and I have contacts from the other worlds we may be able to find. I do not trust myself to move while the Void is still inside me, though. This is the third world to die around me... I have no choice but to think I have a hand in this, and I will not infect another world this way. If the next world dies, I will at least be able to go on knowing it was not because of me. Well.... not because of the Void, anyway.

If it weren't for my companions, I don't know that I would have a morning routine... I am usually awake throughout the night, going through emails. Or watching Netflix. Once the others wake up, I usually answer any calls that have come in. After that, I usually take a moment to meditate, and do my morning stretches and baratero forms. Other than that, we just travel. Aria and I do any jobs we are offered, while Faira helps people along the road with her truck. We do stop at amusement parks, and tourist attractions, just to break the monotony. Mostly Aria and I wait for the harbingers. Lately, however, Faira has been looking for the portals out of here. I have assured her they exist, we just have to find them. Any other information about my day is probably left unspoken. It would be inappropriate and rude. I'm not THAT dead, after all.

This has become increasingly difficult as the Void has claimed a stronger hold. The scar down my face is hard to hide, though the sugar skull makeup has helped. I have gotten used to the "OMG she has an eating disorder" stares, so I do not mind so much wearing a tight black top, and black jeans, and my black biker boots. Of course there is always my black trench coat. My Reapers Cloak. So essentially the same thing I always where. The only thing that really changes is the make up toncover my face. I have gotten used to the makeup to the point I think I will continue to do it, even if I manage to get ride of the Void. Luckily the trench coat is decently formal looking on its own, and I can let my hair down to cover some of the gauntness. I have recently taken to wearing a necklace in honor of Santa Muerte as well, but that is usually hidden.

It is hard to plan for things like birthdays. A crumbling world, contracts, and a lack of care tend to make such things a matter of just dumb luck. Depending on how we feel, Aria and I may stage a haunted house for shots and giggles. Otherwise, the three of us may just have a good old fashioned slumber party and watch horror movies. Sometimes just having a day off helps. I'm not entirely sure what the point even is in a birthday... no longer aging, no longer needing food or possessions... I don't know, I really don't see the point. The other two are still alive, so I can enjoy their birthdays, but I believe I am beyond such things at this point. Not sure I will have a choice, since the others still hold stock on this redundant process, so I will reference back to my original 2 suggestions. Perhaps they will be happy with that.

I feel I am becoming a broken record about this, but the Void. The Void is my greatest regret. That influence is behind the majority of my other regrets. Dying as I did. The deals I made in coming back. The kind of reaper I have become. I believe if I had thought this through better, if I could have looked through the madness, I would have chosen a better course. Not staying near Grace, instead of going to the other world I ended up in... I wouldn't have met some of the people I did, and been able to sing their lives as they passed, but perhaps I could have been around stronger friends and not watched another world die. I regret my actions in the past couple contracts I have been on. I regret this monster I have become. That lives inside me, and even now whispers intrusive thoughts into my mind. I wish to be more peaceful. Subtle. I wish not to be an object of chaos.

I believe there is a mix. It truly is by the grace of the powers that be that I have been allowed to ascend to the being I am today, but some of these gifts come from unlocking what was already inside me. Training, hard work, and looking inside myself, and my heredity have given me my grace and abilities with a blade. Dying, and my knowledge of the occult, and praises to the various Gods of death have blessed me with my more mystic abilities and state of being. Of course, the Void has had a hand in some of my gifts through the possession of the blade... I'm not sure what will happen with that in the future, but we will have to see. I may see about trying to ask the gods to bless me in exchange for being rid of the blade. I have already bound myself to the cloak, so perhaps this is the first step in ridding myself of the Void. 

This is a little silly. I have been in the presence of gods... I am personally effected by their influence. I am blessed to be one of their instruments. So yes, I am spiritual. I do not have the strength in faith the Christians do, as they simply have faith without proof. They can look you in the eye after being shown proof that there is no God, and tell you they still believe. Meanwhile I have been in the presence of Hades and Persephone... I have spoken to them, and have been given a second chance at life from them, yet this seems to belittle them in my mind over the Christian God. Even Sante Muerte, holds more mystery and power over me, because she has not come to me herself. Perhaps this is a reflection of my own low self image. Seeing myself as still a human instrument, despite no longer Being human... as a reaper, It makes more sense to be in the presence of gods. I should work on this. 

The contracts actually reinforce what I had no proof of before hand. I had little chance Not believing there was more out there than what we know. It's only a small twist to go from "there is an afterlife, where people exist as long as they are remembered" to "oh sure, there are aliens." Likewise with the belief of gypsy curses and spirits walking among use to believing in cosmic beings and vampires. If anything, contracts have made more more concerned with humans and what thy are capable of. I have witnessed horrific monsters act with more humanity than some humans. I am glad that I am no longer among one of their numbers. The contracts have become more of a field study of how far that rabbit hole can go. I have seen aliens, gods, wizards, ghosts, monsters of all kinds, even a dragon once. The stronger I become, the more interesting the effects. 

One's that are still alive?
The primary one, of course, is Aria. She is fiery for someone so cold. She is a determined survivor, like myself, which is the one thing that drew us together. Her overcoming her fears of her past, and physically overcoming her hunters was a wonderful bonding experience. I just wish she had the confidence in herself that I have in her. Perhaps now she will be able to go one more jobs with me, and will we can work on that together

The second that comes to mind is little Grace. How can I not like such a sweet ghosty girl? She's clever, and has a good head or two on her shoulders.

I believe one of the only other ones I've seen more than once or twice would be Lyn X. She was better at speed and athletics than I was, but not as good with a blade. She was a spooky little ninja lady from Japan, and we had a lot of fun killing things from the shadows. This was way back in the day... heh, I hadn't even died yet. 

Well that's a little Vague... Livingroom, bedroom?

I like comfort so I would say a large comfortable black couch. One big enough to double as a bed. A massive bay window overlooking the sea, with padded bench seats. A wall of books, occult books of course. A section in the corner set aside for an alter. Chandelier in the center, one of those large, black, gothic ones. Wall sconces along the walls. I wouldn't mind a large tv on the wall in front of the couch, set on the wall above a wood burning fireplace. Probably a nice black furred rug over white tile would be nice. I think that is about all I can think of, to be honest. maybe a computer desk.