Dai "Kitty" Suki's Questionnaire

Well, ah live in mah parents' basement. It's a quaint place out here, in the Texas part of Florida, and there ain't... damn, there ain't nowhere for me to go. Ah could try walkin, but ah'd die of thirst in the cornfields afore I reached the barn. Ah'm a twink, not a cowboy. I mean- nya, I live in my parents' basement, in deep southern Florida! Nyot the best situation, but it works... eheh.... heh... Ah, whut the hell, ah don't give a shit what ah sound like on this goddamn questionaire recording. Ah only opened this damn thing cause it was sent me in the mail, anywho. Ah hate this place. Sweaty. Stinky. Smells like cow shit half the time and horse-shit the other half. Fuck thi- MA! I AIN'T DOIN SHIT, MIND YER OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS! GET OUTTA MAH ROOM!!

Money? Well, ah steal from mah parents, yeah - that ah do. Yep. Ah sure do feel good puttin' this on a tape recorder. Name's Johnathan Adam Mackenzie. Good honest Christian name, good honest Christian ma n' pa who raised me the best they could, gave me what they could, n' that's where all that good Christian bullcrap ended. Call m'self Dai Suki online, and m' followers call me Kitty. N' that's where ah get the rest of my money - from bein' a good honest Christian twink. M'followers donate on twitch, and ah stream games or activities or sumtimes just m'self bein' purdy. Don't that beat all.

Well, ah- Y'all over there are gonna think ah'm crazy as a barkin' cow, but ah want people to worship me. Ah want to kiss boys, goddammit. Ah want followers beggin, cryin', pleadin' to get a chance to kiss mah toenails. Ah'd do right near anythin' for that. Ah'm sick - ah already said it but ah'm sick n' tired of bein' some country boy. No-sir-ree! It's the lavish life for me.

Oh, ah'll live in the grandest of mansions, yessir, and ah'll lie on mah back and have that farmhand Terrence all bare-chested an' barrel-chested feedin' me grapes. And two more lovely men massagin' mah feet. An' - Ah do apologize if ah drooled on this here tape recorder. Dammit.

sounds of wiping microphone

An' hordes n' hordes of papparazzi, yessir, all out the windows tramplin' on them selves wantin' to get a piece o' me. Oh, that'll be the life. Ah want it so bad- So bad.

Ah mentioned before, mah parents got me a computer. They wanted me to get the bes' education ah could. Enrolled me in on-line school, they did. Yessir, yessir... and ah found mahself on every corner of the internet. All them sites. That was the end of Good Honest Christian Me, right there. Found out boys could kiss boys. Found out ah wanted to kiss boys, n' all that. Ah didn't even realize there were that damn many people out there... Ah love it out there in the internet. It's where ah feel the safest. It's where ah feel... loved. Y'all don't go 'round callin me a sap on that-there record - and what the h-e-double hockey FUCK is The Contract, either way? Ah, screw it. Th' envelope said ah'd get paid for recordin' mah answers, and that's all ah care about.