Lyra Adams's Questionnaire

I live in a a two bedroom shithole of an apartment with two other roommates, the place is small, but not cramped, though I have the shit end of the arrangement. I sleep in a weird semi-walled-off section that kind of connects to the living room, I hang my clothes off of an old coat hanger and don't have much in the way of personal belonging except the stuff I keep on me. Place smells of something awful or weed half the time. While it's not the best, it's somewhere and honestly the only place I could afford with no savings, part time jobs can only get you so far. The area's nice though, it's in a city called Port Townsend, architecture's nice, Victorian and all, right up my alley, in fact the building I'm staying is was built in 1910 apparently, which gives it it's own charm in some ways, but not in others. They refurbished it a couple of times to modernize it, but there's still some fragments of the old gas lines, lamps, and all the old creepy stuff that comes with old buildings. It's right off the coast of Washington, makes taking a walk on the beach easy, and it rains often here, I love the rain, part of why I choose to move up here. The reason I came here in the first place was to get away from my past, come somewhere no one knew me, but I didn't even make it that far, still I like this place, even with all the bad that comes with it.

I work three part time jobs, one as a server during the day at Denny's, one at a warehouse, moving stuff around, loading, unloading trucks etc. at night, and I work at the library every now and then when they need me to come in, I also do some freelance writing on the side, mostly health or medical articles since that's my specialty, it actually pays pretty well since I've built up a good reputation doing it. Most of my money goes to rent, food, and bills. Whatever's left I spend on games, shows, or new clothes every now and then, since most of my free time I spend on my laptop scrolling through occult forums or playing games. Don't particularly like or dislike any of the jobs, well working at the library's alright, but it's really just to get enough money to get by. 

There's a man, Fergus Wilbren, he ruined my life, he destroyed any hope I had of pursuing a career or getting an education in Forensic Pathology. I want revenge, but I don't have the means to do it in any meaningful capacity, death or some shitty article disparaging him wouldn't cut it, he deserves more than that. If I had the means, or the possibility to acquire the means for a proper revenge, I would stop at nothing to make it happen. That's half the reason my interest in the occult has intensified so much, I've been looking for a way to make him pay. So if had even the smallest chance of obtaining something that could ruin his life, if not give it a terrible end, then I would stop at nothing to make him and people like him suffer and pay for what he's done even if it cost me my life to do it. 

My best friend Holly who lives in California is my closest friend, I met her in freshman year through the Occult club, we really hit it off and ended up with a lot of classes together throughout the school year so we got close and kept in touch even after high school ended. I still message her regularly, telling her about my life and how things are going, asking about how her life's going, sometimes we share posts, videos, and forums of supernatural or occult stuff we find interesting. I would do just about anything for Holly, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be where I am today (literally). I live with two roommates, Jack and Logan, both in their mid twenties, Jack works in construction, long hours, the other changes jobs more than me, I know he was a lifeguard at one point, then a personal fitness trainer, than a bouncer, I can't keep up. Jack has short black hair and brown eyes, he's short but seems strong enough since he's in construction, he's the more polite one of the two, though he'll still leave stuff laying around on occasion, but he never slacks on his duties when it's his turn to do dishes or the other roommate duties. Of course Logan is much more crass and leaves all his stuff laying around anywhere and everywhere, bongs, shirts, underwear, luckily he doesn't spend all that much time at the apartment, I imagine he's probably hitting up clubs in his free time, he has short blonde hair, blues eyes, and a gym bro/frat bro attitude on life. It's a bit of a weird living situation, especially with my past, but Jack's supposedly Holly's cousin, though they couldn't look further apart from each other. She's the one who told me about this place and Jack was happy to oblige if I had the money for rent, Holly assured me he was a nice guy and I trust her more than anyone so I ended up here. I've been living here for two and a half years now, so everything feels pretty normal at this point and neither Jack or Logan have been weird, so it's been a safe place to stay at the very least. 

I was a pretty normal kid, got good grades, had a couple friends here and there, had an interest in the occult and supernatural, but I mean who didn't after the big paranormal boom of 2000? My dad died when I was 9, of course being a 9 year old it didn't hit entirely that he was gone, if you know what I mean. Once that really settled, knowing he was gone, it sparked my interest in the paranormal, I'd seen videos online of people contacting the dead, so I wanted to do the same, to talk to my dad just one more time, of course I wasn't met with any success, I was just a kid who knew nothing about what they were doing. Joined an occult club my freshmen year of high school, but quickly changed extra circular activities after realizing how that'd look on my transcript. I was interested in medicine, I wanted to go to medical school, become a doctor, a Forensic Pathologist, maybe even a Supernatural Forensic Pathologist, that was the plan. It was just my mom and me, she worked hard, she cared for me, always telling me that I could do whatever I set my mind too and so I felt like I had to work just as hard to her and I did. I worked my ass off to get nearly perfect scores all throughout high school, took all the AP classes, all the nice looking extra circulars, and I did it, well enough to even get an academic scholarship to Stanford. Lost some friends in the process and good grades don't exactly make you the most popular girl in school, but it was enough for me.

No, I've never been in love. I mean of course I've had some crushes here and there, mostly in middle school, but nothing ever happened with them, I was too nervous back then. By the time I got to high school I was too focused on academics to really have the energy or time to focus on anything else, especially something like a relationship. It didn't help that I mostly kept to myself and plenty of people did show romantic interest in me, but every time it either completely flew over my head or I said the stupidest things imaginable that gave them the wrong impression. Now it's even worse, between part time jobs there's not much time to date and it'd be pretty impossible to bring anyone back to the apartment I live in with my awkward living situation and the fact that I have two roommates. So any prospects I have of being in a relationship or meeting someone aren't all that great at the moment... 

My worst fear is losing control of my mind or body, being unable to influence my own actions or being mentally influenced to do something against my will. Losing my sense of self agency like that makes me panic and brings all the memories from Stanford flowing back, I just can't. The idea of someone else or something else controlling me terrifies me, the sense of unknown and fear that accompanies that lack of control, even the idea that my thoughts might not be my own. But after the last couple days, parasites are definitely a close second and honestly are pretty closely related, having something in your body, crawling around, waiting to burst through, it terrified me in a way I can't even properly put to words now, I would've done anything to get rid of it and I did, it hurt like hell and I was more scared than I had been in my entire life, cutting my own body open just to get rid of it didn't even phase me at the thought of letting that thing stay squirming around inside of me doing who knows what. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl and my hands shake. Looking back now I think it might of even been influencing my actions, maybe even my thoughts... fuck parasites.

After moving I didn't really keep much, just what I needed. I was never the sentimental type when it came to objects. Except for a few select things that hold close meaning to me, these exceptions being the medal I got for being valedictorian, it seems silly now and it doesn't get me anywhere anymore, but at the time it meant everything to me. It was the physical incarnation of all that time and effort I put into making sure I was the best, it was the proof that I worked as hard as I could and it paid off. It gave me hope for the future and gave me a confidence in myself that I didn't knew I had in me, of course that was crushed shortly after, but still I just can't part with it. There's also this old pendant that my mother gave to me when I turned 16, apparently it's a family heirloom. It's beautiful, with this deep red gem in the center that just draws you in as if you're looking through an endless red sea. Something has always drawn me to it and I haven't parted with it since I got it, I usually wear it hidden underneath my clothes because it's a bit too fancy for me most of the time, but I feel weird without it. 

Right now the biggest problem in my life is that I'm out of a job, especially with my current situation. I was turned into a fucking cat after my last contract and of course being magically transformed into a cat is not a valid excuse for missing a month of work. So now I'm out of the job, overdue on my rent, my bills, everyone in my life probably thinks I'm dead because I left without a word and I'm unable to speak or write anything as a cat. Luckily I still have some savings because a contractor from my second contract gave me $20,000 for no real reason, I swear every contractor I meet is crazy. But with overdue bills and recovering from losing most of what I own, it really only gives me enough leeway to find a new job without having to sleep on the streets. So hopefully I can find a job once this is over and I'm no longer the size of a toy rocking horse. While I may have a lot of problems right now, being out of a job is probably the biggest one. 

I'm usually woken up by my alarm at 5:00 AM, I start my day by taking a shower or at least trying to get in the shower before any of my roommates do, it's half the reason I get up as early as I do in the first place. Then I get dressed, touch up a little bit with some makeup if I have time, go outside, smoke a cigarette while some coffee brews, then come back and make something for breakfast, usually consisting of some microwavable meal or one of my personal favorites, hot pockets. In between these things I'll usually scroll through my phone, reading the news or occult forums to start off my day. Then I drive off in my shitty old car to wherever I'm working that day, or well I used to. My car got repoed after I was turned into a cat, I was already behind on the payment but that sealed the deal. So now I usually take the bus, which isn't pleasant, but it gets me to where I need to go. That's a typical morning for me.

If I was going somewhere special, like a wedding or a fancy party I'd want to look my best so I'd probably rent a fancy dress, or at least a nice one. I'd probably pick up a black dress, maybe some cold blues or darker greens if I couldn't find a nice black one. To match the outfit, I'd probably pick up some cheap heels that match the dress. If it was for a really special event, I'd definitely need a fair amount of prep time, it's been a long time since I've been to anything that I've really cared about how I looked except maybe prom? Though I know I'd need at least an hour and a half, if not 2+. I'd have to shave my legs, doing my makeup would take a lot of time, styling my hair so that it would look nice would also be pretty time consuming... yeah it would definitely take me a good while. 

For my next birthday I'm going to go to my visit my best friend Holly, we're going to have a night out on the town, just the two of us. We'll hit up my favorite restaurant down where I used to live, she'll probably get me some thoughtful gift, something I feel guilty receiving because I'm horrible at getting her good gifts for her birthday...

It'll be a small birthday, but it'll be nice, of course I'll probably end up working on my birthday so this is just the celebration I'll do whenever I'm free afterwards. Yeah I don't want to see my Mom... and I don't think she'll want to see me either, but you know what they say family isn't always the one you're born with. I'm grateful that I have someone like Holly in my life, I don't know what I'd do or would've done without her.