Mori Khnivz's Questionnaire

Well ORIGINALLY I was gonna move to Ohio, right? But I gots there, AND THEY'SE NOT GO SKIBIDI OHIO. So I'se like "damn that's pretty not rizz of y'all" so I left and now I'm lookin' for a new place to call home. Right now, I'm traveling the world in my lil' cart o' mine. I gots to finds a ways to moves it 'rounds the whole worlds though. Maybe like'uh magic portal or sumpin'. OH OH I was in uh whatcha say it, Nor Cali or whatever. They gots the coolest frickin' aquariums. Like the coolest frickin' fishies. I gotta live there. Oh yeah you'se was askin' bout my house yeah. It's nice and roomy. Y'know more space on the inside and enough room for like fifty different clowns. It's got everything I could need and more. Like a shower, a sink, a stove, a bed, storage, ALL my clown gear, and uh. Lots.

"How'sa clown get they clown bucks?" Like performing an' all that. I was with this traveling circus ya know. We would do all sorts of acts. Juggling, swinging, fire hoops, you name it. I had my knife throwing routine. "Watch the BLIND CLOWN work WONDERS on the WHEEL of MISFORTUNE!" an' all that. Course, I ain't blind. Doctor said I should get whatcha call it "lay sex?" That eye fixer thingy that got now. Jokes on mah doctor, I hear that stuff makes you really blind! Course you'd think a knife lovin' clown like my prestiged self would buy even more knives. And of course I do! But I am a clown of REFINED taste, you see. I enjoy seeing the operas, the plays. I go to the ball games, I see the shows. I love me my aquariums, my theme parks, my frickin' carnivals. If you'se gonna travel you gots to see the sights, y'know? That's called living and I'm living here for it. Did I say that right?

So like, Imma performer babey, yeah? Dats what I do babey that's what I say. So I'm sittin' 'ere one day like "I see all the sights and eat all the foods and drink all the drinks and" and well you gets it right? Maybe? I can keep goin' with that but nah. Where was I talking 'bout? Oh yeag so like. I'm like "y'know where all clowns dream of taking their circus acts next right?" And most people are like "Vegas right?" and I'm like YEAH BABEY but nah I'm talking about the STARS. They got like aliens and stuff out there right? Like in Star Wars? Have you seen Star Wars? If not I gotchu, on the house, from Mori to not Mori. But anyways I gotta find my new audience, y'know? People always talkin' 'bout "ambidextrious" or whatever like mines like "wouldja kill someone for that dream?" And I'm like girl you're frickin' crazy girl! Hell yeah I would though, those peeps tryna take ya down girl are the frickin' CIA. They got spooks out here tryna take down your dreams like they did with like wazzit called, Videl Astro? That guy from uh Cuba. Normal folk wanna see alien circuses! It's the government that's tryna hide that from ya!

When I was but a wee little not-yet-clown lass, I had been to my first ever circus. It was so frickin' cool! They gots the elephants and the juggling on unicycles, and the fire hoops, and the pie routines. Have you ever been pied? It's frickin' sweet is what it is! So I'm like I gotta go to clown school to be a clown. So I did. I went to clown school to be a clown. So I'm out here like auctioning or whatever you call it at all these talent agencies for clowns, and look at me now. I'm a certified clown!

Well my most helpfulist, more wonderfulist assistant Patches the Clown is someone who is oh-so helpful! Without him, my knife throwing show wouldn't even be possible! Yeah yeah everyone's seen knives throw between the gaps of people's limbs. What about knives thrown right at THEM?! Patches is soooooo cool, he can like make them get a knife thrown into them but, like, it's NOT?! It's like that trick with the saw and the box, but instead it's a knife and a guy! Wowzers.

Next up is the wondrous, most exorbitant (I think that's a word) lil' ol' Daisy Bumpkin! She's one of our animal handlers and she is soooooo cool too! Sometimes she even lets lil' ol' Muh-ree help with the cutesy animals! See what I did there by the way? I don't know how she does it, but even owah scawy wittle wion is more like a big, playful kitty cat!

And of course, where would little Mori be without our ringleader, Squiggly the Stupendous Stuntclown! She's a natural performer herself, but she said she like retired to run a circus troupe instead. She took me in after seeing my solo acts and the rest is history!

Mori's childhood was so cool! My parents were these like super rich business people so I got to go on trips ALL the time! My dad has this big cool boat and we'd go out on the sea and like fish and relax. I got to see so much of our state, and it only made me want to see the WHOLE WORLD! When I tolds them I was gonna be a clown they was like "yeah that's cool" or something I dunno. I forgot what they said exactly but it was probably that! I did a lot of theater at school. Singing, dancing, acting, the whole shebang! Mori always knew she was gonna be a performer, and now Mori's gotta take that beyond where any other clown has gone! I dunno what fit in means, I thinks that's like "oh did you have friends?" and OF COURSE Mori had friends! I had the bestest of friends all throughout my schooldays! Makes Mori so cheerful and playful and joyful and, uh, Mori-ful!

What is love? Some folks say dat you'se gotta like kisses and stuff. Me? I got the love of the game BABEY! Dey'se like "oh Mori what keeps you going? You gots a guy back home?" and I'se like I got the love of the game BABEY! Romantic? Mori doesn't get the mushy stuff. Literally! Mori can get hit by mushy love arrows and I'd be like "dang I bumped mah head again!" Mori does have my bestest clown friend Daisy Bumpkin though! She's a sweetheart with all the animals and what not! I wanna be as kind and caring as her one day! sigh

Dey says at Clown State University datta Clown's the most fearliest most craziest performers out dere! But a clowns still gots them fears in 'em. You'se neva seen Stah Wahs 'fore? SO'SE! In the like third movie... But it was actually the like sixth movie, right? My main mans Obi-Wan is out 'ere in iz spaceship. Mori wants a spaceship too, iz why Mori tells ya dis story! And Obi and his Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, real famous guy I loved meetin' 'im... They're like gonna go save the Chancellor on Dooku's ship, right? But on the way there... BOOM! These robo-spaceships are like "nah get OUTTA 'ere" and shoot these missiles at my boy Obi-Wan and they plaster 'im with these Buzz Droids. Poor R4... And they're like rippin' his ship apart, literally! That's like real scary like! Mori wants to go to space one day. Meet all the aliens an' stuff. But Mori is scared that the Separatists are gonna get her! I know the Empire took most 'em out, but theys still out there! Mori knows this. Mori shudders thinkin' 'bout all thems robots out there in space, plotting against us! They're gonna try an' get revenge, I know it! Revenge of the Sith? Nah, Revenge of the Droids!

Ah dis an easy one! So like I can't say my clown friends, obviously, 'cuz that's cheatin'! Plus muh friends ain't like things y'know, they're people! And if you've been with me you'd be like "oh Mori it's your super cool purple practice knife, right?" WRONG! Mori LOOOOOOOOVES her little plastic twirly knife! But what Mori loves she doesn't keep on her clownson (person but clown, haha!). So like Mori's gotta ask you one thing first, yeah? So you'se heard 'bout Star Wars, an' 'course you has! Mori told you aaaaallll about it last time! Okay okay! But you read Homestuck right? RIGHT? Gorsh, if you haven't they like you TOTALLY should. But like, Mori went to TrollCon right? And Mori dressed up as Jedi Jade Harley, 'cuz like she's so sweet and cool and Mori LOVES Star Wars. So'se back at 'ome, I got my Jade-i (see what Mori did there?) robes, but I also gots my Jade green (SHE WHAT MORI DID THERE?) lightsaber! It's like custom made and it's dueling safe and it lights up and makes noisies VROOOOM WHOOOOOSH! Mori ask the circus troupe if her training's gonna make her a Jedi, and they was like "oh heck yeah" or something like that. Mori forgets, why are you asking me this?

So'se like the doctors says I got likes a concoction? That I hit mah head real hardlike on something! Now Mori says "that don't make sense, Mori hits her head all the time but Mori don't feel too different afterward!" But the doctor's says "oh no Mori but I thinks the constant head bashin' has done some serious damage! we da doctors think ya memories been affected by 'em!" Dis what they wrote me in dis note right 'ere! Mori tries to keep a big smile and an even bigger gumption! But mah doctor visits are makin' me feel kinda worried that maybe I don't know some stuff 'bout mah health! I means theys the professionals after all! Mori's just a clown! She went to clown school not doctor school! Wowzers, it's a lot to think about, y'know? Doctors are super smart, they see the things that no one else sees! With they's like microwaves and stuff!

Wells, the first thing Mori does when she wakes up is of course do a biiiiiiiiig ol' stretch! They says that's the first thing ya gotta do when you wake up! Who says? Mori! Next of course is the bestest most importantest meal of the day: breakfast! Mori love love loves making a big stack o' pancakes for herself an' the troupe! It's a clownfest in the kitchen in the morning, always, and Mori wouldn't have it any other way! Of couse, Mori has to change out of her clownjamas and into her clown- uh, clownbusinesswear! Dat includes da outfit, da makeup, da little flower that sprays water, da whole package! Now, and Mori's gonna whisper dis in ya ear 'cuz Mori knows da C.I.S is listenin' in! When I gots ta go on performances outside'a circus grounds, Mori gots a whole suite of stuff I gots planned to pack an' bring with Mori. Long excursions, big jobs, high value targets. Both for the circus and for Miku. Wowzers, would ya look at the time! Silly Mori has a show to put on later! I can't be writing ALL day now can Mori! See ya!

Well Mori's bestest is always her clown gear! What's better than being a clown? But if ya askin' what Mori wears ta like weddings and venues, Mori's got a CLOSET full of things ta wear! Why, Mori has dresses and suits and ballgowns and trousers GALORE! Dis one time the circus says "Mori we're sendin' ya to a fancy party to meet with a friend'a ours! Take good care'a 'em!" and Mori was like "omagosh I gets to wear my super cool party clothes!" Took Mori at least like an hour gettin' ready. Maybe two. They says I gots to look my bestest, after all! Really dolled Mori up for that. Nowadays Mori doesn't need to dress fancy to go to fancy places! Mori is invincible! They's gots a show called that but I can see 'em so it's very weird. Weird. Oh yeahs you gots questions, 'uh? Well Mori prefers clothes you could breathe in I thinks they says. But Mori is a professional! Mori will wear whatever if I gots to do a performance for da circus like that!

OOOOOO! Mori LOVE LOVE LOVES birthdays! Usually Mori is the one to do the whole birthday pre-prep-precipipations? Da balloons and streamers and cake and stuff! Dats prolly 'cuz Mori only gots one birthday a year! What if Mori had lots'a birthdays a year? Dat would be CRAZY but it'd mean Mori would be ancient, like the coelacanth! Mori saws dat fishie at da aquarium, SUPER COOL! Mori loves aquariums! Maybe Mori wants to go there next birthday! But all dat don't matter to Mori! I just wanna spend my birthdays with all da clowns in da circus and all da cake in the sea!