Ppimperton (Devontae Hanson)'s Questionnaire

I live in Detroit, home of the best pimps in the world, biyatch! I live here 'cause that's where the pimpin' game is the hardest, the most intense, the juiciest, the most profitable. Sure, I could go somewhere else an' pimp it up there, but y'know what bitch? It's fuckin' boring. I gotta have challenge in my life.

I live in the Pussy Palace. I had it decked out enough to make fuckin' Trump jealous. We got chandeliers everywhere, everything I can think of is gold-plated, nice-ass furniture, TVs all over the place, bumpin' stereo systems in all the rooms. Painted the whole place pink, 'cause duh. Fuckin' awesome. 

I fuckin' pimp it, the fuck do you think? I make my hoes go out and make me dat money, and they give me my cut.

I spend it on whatever the fuck I want. Gold chandeliers. My Pussy Wagon. Fur coats. More pimp canes.

I really don't know the fuck you want out of this. I spend it on thinks to make me look more pimpin', I spend it on things that help me pimpin'.

Once in a while I'll buy my bottom bitch some stuff, like a tv or a new wig or some shit. But not too much. You can't let your hoes start thinking they're important.

I wanna be the god of pimps, bitch!

The fuck do you mean what am I striving for? I just told you: I wanna be the god of pimps.

Pimpin' ain't easy. Pimpin's fuckin' hard. Reason that pimpin' is hard is 'cause there ain't no god of pimps.

Think about it.

There's gods o' love, and gods of fightin', and gods of protection, and gods of beauty, and gods of art, and all these things that are all accepted by society.

But you ever hear of a god of pimpin'? No? And yet pimpin' is one of the few things that society really don't like.

So, we get ourselves a god of pimpin', society becomes a lot nicer 'bout pimpin'. Because the key to getting people to look at your job as legit is if there's a god of it. If there ain't no god, then it ain't legit, and ain't nobody respect you. I become the god of pimps, and all the pimps gotta beat people with their pimpcanes for dissing 'em less.

So I become the god of pimpin', all the pimps and hoes gonna worship me, 'cause I done something so great for 'em.

Would I kill for it? Bitch, I killed a trick for punchin' my girl and refusing to pay me for it. Yes I'd kill for that shit.

How close to death? Bitch, I been on the edge o' death since I fell out my mama.

Shut your fuckin' mouth, dumbass hoe.

When I got my first hoe.

I got outta the Marines and went back home to Detroit after.

Moved back in with my Mama, sad ta say, to save some money while I waited for the military to get me my money.

Spent some time thinkin' hard 'bout what I'm gonna do. Man's gotta earn money or he ain't shit. Man's gotta have him some women or he ain't shit.

So how the fuck do I get money and get women?

Well, it works a lot like it does with oil. You find someone who's got lotsa oil - or women and money - and you go and invade. That is to say, you take it from 'em.

So I looked 'round Detroit for the meanest, richest, most hoe-havin' pimp I could find. Alabaster Jones. Fuck yeah.

Went and spent some of my check from the Marines on a nice-ass pimp-cane.

Walked up to Alabaster Jones while he was talkin' to his hoes, called him a fuckin' bitch, an' smashed his face in.

All of a sudden, I got me a bunch of hoes.

Hoes got me the money.

Now I gots all the women I could ever want, and I gots all the money I need.

I gotta get me more hoes though. Maybe I should expand my pimpin' to other cities.

Chi-raq is next, bitches.

Closest to? The fuck are you talking 'bout? Pimps don't got nobody they's close to. You can't trust nobody. Everybody's out to take your womens and your money. And I need my fuckin' womens and my money. But you can't trust your hoes neither. Only thing you can really trust is your money, 'cause money talks louder 'an anybody.

The hoe I hate least, though, I guess is Veronica. She's an old hoe. She don't make so much money no more, not on her back. But she put herself through nursin' school back under Alabaster Jones, 'cause that dumbass didn't take all the moneys she made. So she's a nurse an' that helps the other hoes out a lot, so I pays her for it. An' sometimes I bang her. Old hoes know some tricks, bitch. She's smart as fuck. If she'd have been smarter than to start lovin' Alabaster Jones she mighta had a better life. But she ain't that smart after all.

'sides Veronica, I guess there's Tiny. He's kinda my iron right hand. When I gotta off somebody but don't wanna get my hands dirty, Tiny's my guy. He looks kinda like that dude from Green Mile. Y'know the one, huge black bald dude. Weirdly he ain't that good in a regular fight, but I saw him shoot better than half the guys in my platoon back in Iraq.

Well, my childhood wasn't great, but it wasn't the worst either.
Mama didn't beat me much. I didn't know dad. Mom was kinda uptight and a helicopter mom. She was always harping on me about one thing or another, and was always real worried about making sure that I moved on up because she wanted me to have a better life than she was able to provide and that kinda shit.
I did attend school. I did… okay in it I guess. I mean, I didn’t get the best grades in the world, but they weren’t the worst either. Mostly C’s, couple B’s.
Socially? Yeah, I fit in real good. I was one of those popular kids. Because mom was always trying to push me to do more and work harder to build a better life, I did tons of extracurricular activities. This also meant that I was barely home and shit.
But I was like the class president, I was one of the popular kids, I was a jock… high school was good times aside from the fact that my mom couldn’t afford to get me a car like a lot of the kids’ parents did for them.