Sora's Questionnaire

I live in the suburbs of Toronto, been here for a few years now. Small town home in the suburbs, nothing special, you wouldn't even take a second look at it if you passed by. Well you might actually do a double take because of my mother's obsession with decorating, she likes the place to look "homely".

My family moved around a lot when I was younger so I'd rather stay in one place nowadays. That and I think it gives my mom some comfort that I'm still around. She tends to worry about me and my siblings a lot. I don't mind sticking around either. I have my own space with enough room to play games so I'm happy.

I make web-comics, I don't think they're the greatest thing but people read em so I can't really complain. I mean, it's not a lot of money, but I also don't need much. The most expensive things I buy are new games to pass the time. My headset is probably the most expensive thing I've bought in a while. I think the last thing before that was my pc. Other than that though I don't spend much. A few pairs of clothes a year, personal food, and helping out with expenses where I can are most of my other spending. 

Combat is something core in most games, you can't really escape it, although you may try. So my goal is pretty simple, I want to try and take Neo-Genis to it's limits. How much power can I lock inside a character before it gives out. If I'm one thing, I'm determined. 

I already got a unique concept for my avatar so now I just need to figure out how to make it stronger. I have to learn the limits of the system.

The important thing is that I prove my power through fair means. If I broke the game to the point that no one can fight me, that's not a challenge. If someone isn't fighting back, that's not a challenge. 

Probably the moment I got my webcomic published. I felt so proud, my heart couldn't stop racing. I remember I was talking about it for the rest of the week. My sibling must have been so annoyed at me with how many times I brought it up. Seeing it up and getting read was so relieving.

I remember I said I'd be happy if like 50 people read it, and then it passed 4k and I was losing it. It changed my entire perspective on my work. Made me a lot more confident in my work, made me want to do more.

There's my mom, lovely woman. She cares about both me and and my siblings so much maybe too much at times. I remember one time my younger brother went out with some friends randomly after they met up during the day and she freaked out when she found out what happened.

Then there's my dad, he's like Vegas Santa Claus. I really good guitar player, even does some shows ever now and then in local restaurants. By far one of my biggest inspirations of who I want to be like. It always feels like I can just sit down and talk with him when I'm feeling down.

Last would be my younger brother. We both annoy the living daylights out of each other but I also would like to think we would do anything for each other. He generally keeps to himself, but he can be social at times to. Plus he generally likes to keep things light which means he's good for a pick me up when needed

I was... definitely one of the weird kids in school. Not the weirdest of the weird, more like the "will ask you random unhinged questions" type weird. It's surprising that I made any friends. It's also surprising that I never really got bullied. The one person who I knew who was kind of a bully never came after me. It was to the point that other people wondered how I managed it, and I didn't have an answer for them.

My parents did all they could for me, to the point I could have taken advantage of that. I'm sure they would have given me pretty much anything I asked for within reason... I didn't though, I never really asked them for anything, and when I did I felt bad about it. I never want to be a burden to anyone at the very least I strive to be neutral if not positive effect on those around me.

I think I thought I was, but I think that's just me getting overly attached. I tend to 'latch on' to people I get along with. And I think sometimes I mistake that attachment for love, but I don't think that's actually love.

I feel like actual love doesn't fade. Actual love... if I may be so bold, 'true' love... that doesn't go away ever. As a result I tend to under sell my feelings and maybe one day that may come back to bite me.

Maybe one day I'll meet someone I do love, and I'll dismiss my feelings. I hope that doesn't happen.

The feeling of helplessness that comes with being unable to help those I care about. That feeling of knowing that there is something you could do and yet you are stuck, powerless. It's that feeling that terrifies me, the idea that there will come a time where it doesn't matter how much power, how much money, how many skills I have. One day they will all be for nothing. So I try my best to avoid that day. I think so myself that maybe if I keep gaining more power then that day will never come and I'll always be there for those I hold dear.

I realize that it's a naive thought, but I choose to believe it. Call me childish, call me egotistical, but I refuse to believe that I cannot prevent this fear from becoming a reality. I will do everything I can, gain as much power as possible, so that I will always be there and able to help. That is my promise to everyone. I will not stand by, I will not cower in fear, I will face all those who dare to challenge me.

You can try to knock me down but I will continue to fight for those I care about to my dying breath. 

Probably Chimera Drago, me and my siblings were fans of Beyblade since forever and the idea of having my own special one is a dream come true, and being able to have it work exactly as I imagined it is something I could have never imagined would happen. (Thank you Neo-Genis devs!) At some point I need to pay someone to make a version of it irl that would be amazing and I could show it to my siblings and I'm sure they would go crazy. I can imagine they would all be asking to try out my headset just so they could make their own cool items and stuff. Maybe I could get them their own when I have some spare funds, it would be nice to play some games with them some time. We don't do as much as I would like to together. But hey, that's life.

The nightmares, ever since that one day, they haven't stopped, it's like they're haunting me. Telling me I should have done more, that I should have been better. It's paralyzing, the idea that I could have done something but didn't. I, I'm not sure I could cope with that idea. It's the same in everything. I was always taught to do my best, pit 100% of what I have into everything I do. I... I don't know if I could live with the idea that I failed someone because I didn't do something. It's kinda like that whole Spiderman thing.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

If I want to be powerful then I have a responsibility to use that power well. That is a responsibility that I don't wish to take lightly and I don't intend to.

Still, the idea that I might have... it scares me... so... so much...

I get up and just try my best, no real master plan, hype up rituals, or energy drink. I just do it. Is, that not what you guys do? Everyone's dealing with stuff, and not all of it is easy, but it's always worth facing it as best as you can. Even if it's not at 100%. Maybe some days you can only do 75% maybe sometimes you can only do 25% maybe some days you can only muster 1% The point is that you give what you can.

No amount of coffee, exercises, or routine will change your mental if you don't want it to.

Beyond that though, I'll usually spend my mornings working on my comic. I'll grab a quick bite to eat and then get to work. Once I'm done that though that's pretty much my entire day. The rest of the time I just kinda do whatever. 

I mean obviously I'd do all the standard stuff. Do my hair, get a trim, you know the usual stuff. Other than that though, honestly not much. I'm not exactly one for super formal things. Not saying I don't care about my looks, but like, you'll never catch me in a suit. Those things are horrible to wear. Every time I've worn one in the past I have never felt comfortable in it. That's not to say I'll come in just regular street clothes, but a suit, nah. That's not my style. Like, look at my avatar, man wears a jacket like a cape, that is not normal at all, but it looks good. Something like that is my idea of formal, not a bunch of people sitting around uncomfortably. If we're gonna be uncomfortable at least make it look cool.

You know what, in fact, if I ever host an event and I implement a dress code it is gonna be full on plate armor.

I'm not sure. I... don't really like my birthday. Nothing about it is bad it's just, I don't know, unimportant? I would probably just do the things I normally try and do. That being spend time with friends and family, play games, the usual. Probably visit Maikendo, know them they'd probably want to have some sort of celebration if they found out, and knowing me I wouldn't be able to refuse them.

If people want to celebrate my birthday that's fine, but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it or mention it to anyone. I'm just not worth the effort imo.

My biggest regret, honestly would be my pride, at least in games. I hold myself to a high standard and expect those around me to do the same, when they (reasonably) don't I then get upset. It's also gotten in the way of me getting to know some people better. Jade, Lumi, Oscar, all people who I struggled to call friends at first because of my pride. But now all of them I would call close friends and allies.

It is okay to be proud of what you have done, but you can't let that blind you to the deeds of others. Working together, striving for more together, that is something to be prideful about.

If you only focus on yourself then you will lose sight of those around you. And that is probably the real th8bg worth regretting, losing sight of the other people in your life who matter to you.

My gift come from me and Drago working together. I channel my feelings and strength into it and in turn it shares it's power with me. Is a feedback loop of increasing strength. Of course, over time I've added a few inclusions of my own. Emperor's Aura was just me learning to project my emotions outwards, willing them onto others.

I reclaimed my dragon form from someone else who didn't use it properly. I turned it from a symbol of fear to hopefully one of hope. Whether or not I succeeded, still up in the air. Either way though, I think it looks much better on me.

Then there's the mask I got from Link, the representation of my fears. I'm not quite sure what to do with it yet, but what better way to overcome your fears then by turning them into a source of strength. That's some proper anime energy right there.

I'm... not sure honestly. I mean, I've seen enough in my life to know that spirits and souls exist. So there's very much a possibility that other spiritual things exist to. By that same logic, is it too far fetched to say that there may be some man in the clouds watching all of us. Wouldn't be the strangest thing I've heard or seen.

Although, I'd very much like to have a chat with the guy if he is around. Want to understand the reasoning behind a few things. I've never exactly been a fan of being left in the dark with these kind of things. It gives me an unsettling feeling.

Either way though, I know where I'm going when I end up biting the dust, and it's a better option than the unknown, so take that as you will I guess. I don't know if that makes me religious or not, but it's what I believe in.

I mean it definitely messes with you. One day you think you're just playing a regular old happy-go-lucky video game, next thing you know lives are at stake. That kind of shift messes with you, gets in your head. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but hey, I think I've managed it pretty well at this point. I mean, I'm not prepared for everything, but I like to think I can manage to roll with any perverbial punches the game sends at me. I mean, I feel like there isn't much more that could surprise me. I've seen cursed games, code coming to life, npcs becoming sentient. What else realistically could Neo-GENIS throw at me to shake up the formula.

I'm not exactly sure what it 'could' do. Besides, even if it does throw a curve ball, I've got people behind me who will gladly rise with me to meet the challenge.

Kayleigh, a fox girl who struggles with self confidence. She has improved so much since joining the Crimson Flame Guild, and I don't know if she fully can see just how much it has changed her. She can tend to get caught up in her own head sometimes, but she just needs someone to knock some sense into her and she'll be back on the right track.

Ashen, an honorable knight. She is arguably one of the best examples of the goals of a Crimson Flame member. She has shown more humanity than some players I've met, and I don't care what she says, she is a valued member of this guild. All of us are glad to have her here and she isn't just some soulless shell. No one can convince me otherwise.

Maze, the Explorer from Maikendo. I have to say, I'm glad he's seemingly finding his place out here. It's always a pleasure to see him and he always manages to be a positive force wherever he goes. It's comforting to know there is at least one person like him out there.

The perfect room? Idk, one that serves it's purpose? I'm not sure I get the question. Maybe it's just cause I've never really been one for decorating or anything? Hmm...

I guess, for me, a perfect room would be one you can feel at home in? There are some places where you are in there and you just feel off the whole time. A perfect room wouldn't make you feel like that. In the perfect room, you could sit still, doing nothing, and you would never feel like you needed to do something, go somewhere, be something. In the perfect room, you could just exist and that would be enough.

Honestly, I could use one of those rooms, maybe put a nice soft bed in it to, I could definitely use the nap if I was there.

People say that I'm good at a lot of things. Ashen has called me a good leader and friend. Many people have called me a good person. I wouldn't ever say those things about myself however. Even things like shooting, I'm good at that. But do I really excel at it? I'm not sure...

I wouldn't call myself a good leader, how can I be a good leader if I don't have the answers people need from me? People at least look up to me in Maikendo because of what I've done, but out in the wider world of Neo-Genis? I'm just some schmuck with a guild and that's it, and it isn't even a big guild or anything. I'm pretty sure we have one of the smallest joinbases of any guild.

I just do what I can, when I can. That's as much as I can say about my skills

I don't get emotional a lot, I'm typically pretty neutral when it comes to most things. I keep to myself. However, there are some cases when I simply can't keep that position. Notably, when someone causes the people I care about to suffer. When that happens, I don't care who or what is in my way. Nothing matters anymore beyond making that person hurt. It doesn't matter who you are, or what you've done. You hurt the people I care about, you are dead to me and will be dead to the world when I find you.

I don't like to be violent for the sake of being violent. That is pointless and gets us nowhere but the people who cause innocent lives to be hurt. Those monsters... they deserve nothing, no sympathy, no mercy, no escape, no peace. For them, there is only retribution, and come hell or high water, I will deliver it.

https://youtu.be/-sO2UMoOaFQ?si=4HYXOGHrbx6XiVQz

When I first got into Neo-GENIS, I wanted to to be someone. Someone that would be remembered, someone who had an impact on the world around them. I didn't really know how to do that, so my brain just defaulted to being the strongest, I swore to be the most powerful player in Neo-GENIS. Oh how childish I was. Because being the best at anything isn't a one time commitment, you have to keep feeding into it. That kind of focus eats away at you, takes everything else from you until it's all you have. You become more more know for what you 'did' instead of who you were. I want to be remembered as a person, not a list of achievements.

https://youtu.be/4BievZza57w?si=nTcoyOBponxOHViE

Once I realized that my original plan was flawed, I sort of went through this funk where I didn't know where I belonged or what I was going to do. But I know now... My place in Neo-GENIS is my guild, my friends, Nova, Maikendo. That is where I belong, with them, and that is one of the most fulfilling feelings ever. Even if I doubt my abilities at times, I promise all of them that I will do my best.

https://youtu.be/HQnC1UHBvWA?si=uwa9-ROy-u7FNMXF

To the people of Maikendo, I promise to extend the care they have shown to me to my friends. I will do my best to help them and support them, just as you have supported and helped me when I needed it.

https://youtu.be/4gzIL8_G4Xs?si=sHRvStnwO7kpfZGn

To the Crimson Flame Guild, I promise to be the best leader I can be. Someone who embodies the values they speak, someone who will fight to their last breath to uphold them. Someone you can look up to and be confident in, and in turn, can be confident in you. Some proper, "believe in the me that believes in you" type energy. I want all of you to be just as strong as me in your own ways. I want you all to find your own purpose and callings and fulfill them.

https://youtu.be/vlpvJLlAu3A?si=Z-Rcvx1-VNM7heMt

To Nova, I promise to care about you and never compromise on that. Even if I may not be able to properly verbalize my feelings at times, even if I may get embarrassed or defensive when others bring up the topic, deep down, my feelings, my love for you will not change. It will be something I hold close, in this life and the next.

https://youtu.be/ZHhqwBwmRkI?si=9yLiZRmDdiwhVqAY

To all those who would seek to harm those I care for, I promise that it will be the worst mistake you have ever made. Because there is nothing more important to me than them. I have and will put my life on the line to stand between you and them and there will be nothing, not even death itself that will move me. So if you are thinking about hurting those I care about, make the smart decision...

Don't

https://youtu.be/jwhSUmN5zTk?si=MYIfhsOQ08LA_qEK

To myself, I promise that I will fulfill your dream to be remembered. I will find the validation you need. I will make them say how proud they are of me.

My ambition already has changed. I used to think that my goal was just to become the strongest. But I realized that not only was that fruitless, but it was a goal doomed to fail. There will always be someone to come along and beat you, you are never number 1 forever. After that, I realized what it was I truely wanted. I wanted to reach my true potential, and beyond that, I wanted to see others do the same. I want to be able to see everyone become the truest form of themselves. That is what I want to do, that is my goal, and it's someth8ng I want to do for as long as I can. I know I'll eventually reach a limit, wether that be old age or something else. However until that time, I want to make sure to help as many people as I can.