Amalia "Wallaby Whisperer" Tartuga's Questionnaire

Oi, good question mate! I don't live in any town really. Well, I guess I do, but it's my own town. I'm the mayor of Wallaby World! I built a nice little place, its a bit of zoo, out in the middle of nowhere. The outback has all these critters ripe for befriending!

I couldn't just plop this place down anywhere. Australia has so many creatures, and it's my home. Being Australian is kind of part of my shtick on the telly, wouldn't get as many numbers if my camp was somewhere other than Australia. 

I have lots of room out here in the desert. Plenty of enclosures for all my animal friends. I've built everything myself, so some may laugh or scoff at my handiwork, but i'm proud of all i've done here! I built it right by a billabong, real beauty of a bush! I reckon everyone would have a good time if they came by, but some of my critters don't much like visitors. Really only for true blue aussies, others might not be able to handle it!

Oi, I get heaps of money all through hard yakka out here! I have my own show on the telly, Wallaby Whisperer. I reckon you've heard of it. 

I travel around, find all sorts of creatures and critters, try and rassle em up and bring em on back to my camp. I get good numbers, swear it, im a bit of a celebrity. It's a tough line of work though it is! Most of my cash goes straight to new enclosures, fixing up current ones, finding new animals and taking care of them. Plus I gotta take care of myself, constantly buying new knickers, these damn vermin got me pissing mine so often!

Wouldn't trade it for the world though, I'd rather be broke and starving than live a life without my furry little friends by my side. Or feathery. Or scaley. Any of them!

My goal is what its always been mate. I wanna catch em all. Em being the creatures of this here Earth, big and small, friendly and downright viscous killing machines. Not enough to just catch em though, I gotta befriend em. Make these critters my pals, my big ol happy animalia family. 

Now, I have my limits. I'd kill for these beasts... but I don't wanna. For them it's instinct, its survival, for me? Well, i'd be a real selfish cunt to go wipe out someone's flame of life just to have a cute new pet. Now if I see someone hurting a poor little critter? That's a different story. I have a trusty ol boomerang and by god mate, I know how to use it.

I reckon i'd rather not die in this pursuit. If I die before I have a worldwide zoo, seems it'd be a waste. I'd venture close though, of course. Nothing great comes without risks, especially if you're forming a bond between yourself and a beast. You gotta get in their head, understand them, their fears, wants and desires, you gotta become em, mate.

Oi, that's a real toughie. 

When I was a real wee ankle biter, there was this bloke in my neighborhood, a real whacka he was, always goofing off and getting into shenanigans. My folks told me and my siblings to stay away from him, he was weird and had an unconventional way of life. They called him a galah, mate.

But I was an adventurous soul, still am, and decided to hang around. He had so many critters and creatures in his home, in his yard, all around. He knew all the spots to find em too! He taught me most of what I know now, really shaped who I am today.

Unfortunately, he got eaten by a Salt Water Crocodile. I watched the whole thing happen. Biggest monster i'd ever seen. And even those he was halfway in the jaws of a ferocious beast, being eaten alive, he looked at me and smiled. He said "He's only eating me because he doesn't know how to be my friend." At least I think that's what he was saying, he didn't get to finish!

Rip. Professor Ulberjj, you will be forever missed!

Oi, this one is easy!

Number one, my manager, my producer, one of my closest friends, my mom! Charlotte Tartuga, such a beautiful lady, I get my looks from her for sure. She didn't support me at first, was worried I'd end up like good ol Prof. Ulberjj, but once I started raking in the moderately sized bucks, she came along for the ride.

Hmm.. Gotta remember ol Perry boy! He's my ex boyfriend, well, ex fiance I guess. We were engaged for a few years but I kept pushing back the wedding cause I was busy traveling around, wasn't stayin in one spot very long. I ended up putting my relationship with the critters above my relationship with him... We're still pals though! He ended up broke and sorta homeless so he works at my property now, helps take care of the animals. He lives in a little shed outside. He might be a little mad at me, not sure.

Third, most importantly, my wallaby friend Jackie. He's such a cute little bugger, I don't know what i'd do without him. He's been with me through thick and thin, gotten me through some tough times just like i've helped him out of some tough times. Nursed him back to health, mate! He's been around since I was 17, and he was a wee little baby. He's gettin older now, but he has a few more years in him, bless his lil soul!