Delphyrion's Questionnaire

I live in Orlando, Florida, because this is the easiest place to contact my supplier. Since my budget is tight from all the experiments I run, I eat and sleep in my own lab. It is spacious enough for a bed in the corner, and all my equipment takes up the other space. The emergency shower is my normal shower too. I often post my (legal) experiments online for extra cash, but I avoid sponsorships from McDonald’s at all costs. It has gotten to the point where Ronald McDonald visits me to try and convince me to eat a McNugget. Living in the US means I can legally have a rifle by my side at all times. The only trade off is that there is a McDonald’s everywhere I go. 

I post my experiments on YouTube very often. The ones I show are perfectly legal so plenty of sponsors approach me all the time. My revenue from viewers is also not too bad, since everyone likes to see random objects being turned into everyday food items. I also sell my created food, along with other chemical byproducts that people may find a use for. A lot of this money goes towards rent and totally legal, substances or equipment for my experiments. If certain chemicals are too expensive I try to make them myself. Sometimes I buy bullets as well, because Ronald McDonald is super persistent. 

Back in the day my parents would never bring me to McDonald’s. No amount of documentaries showing how good McDonald’s is would change their minds. Apparently it’s because my dad went to get potato fries and came back with yam fries instead. The kids at school would always bring huge bags of fries and burgers to the classroom at lunch and I would spend my afternoon class surrounded by the delectable smell of grease. They wouldn’t share with me no matter how many times I offered to finish their chemistry homework for them, because they said I looked like a hobo. So I decided that I would destroy McDonald’s once and for all. The food there probably isn’t that great anyway. I wouldn’t purposefully kill for it, but sacrifices must be made. 
If there are any deaths involved in my experiments, whether it’s me, the subject, Ronald McDonald, or any innocent bystander, then so be it. 

While working at McDonald's as a minimum wage cashier, one customer came up and took around 30 minutes to order. Why? He was distracted watching YouTube videos. Total iPad kid behaviour. However, the video did sound very intriguing (he did not wear headphones, so it was just playing loudly in the premises) due to all the crashes and explosions. The iPad kid told me that he was watching something called "NileRed", though I could only find NileGreen. Maybe the kid was colourblind. Or maybe I am. Either way, it changed my life because I realized I could just make food from scratch instead of relying on deceptive businesses. So, I devoted my life to studying chemistry in my parents' basement. They later kicked me out because I accidentally released carcinogenic gas, but that's fine. 

Also, I was working at McDonald's because I just happened to be hired there while job hunting. The sanitary state of the place is to die for (literally, I would not eat at McDonald's because I feel like I'd die after eating something that was stuck in the fryer for ages). 

- Cassiopeia:

A barista at a café that Delphyrion frequents. Also one of the first people to subscribe to their channel. They've gone through thick and thin together, so Delphyrion always goes to her for any emotional support. She's more closed off and independent, though somehow it's easy for them to be close friends. They share quite similar worldviews (excluding the part about ending McDonald's) that lead to deep, grounding conversations. They've always been there for each other but for some reason she's still somewhat guarded around them. It's like she's been wearing a mask around everyone, though Delphyrion hasn't tried to ask about it.

- Detective U. Dunnit

A random detective who just happened to be assigned to Delphyrion-related complaints multiple times until the two became more acquainted with each other. Often these complaints are quite baseless, so any visits often just become moments for banter before both of them return to work. Dunnit has some suspicions about the chemist, but Delphyrion is completely oblivious to that. Their ignorance does help ease any resulting tension though.
For now, Dunnit simply thinks that Delphyrion is an idiot who has too much time on their hands. Thus, Dunnit will at least try to give Delphyrion the benefit of the doubt.

- Mysterious Dealer:

Someone that Delphyrion occasionally meets up with for business. They only know each other's aliases for various reasons. The dealer has been reliable in supplying clean products, and Delphyrion has always paid their dues in time, though this connection can be dropped at any time—hopefully on good or neutral terms. Who knows what this person is capable of if wronged in any way.